How are you feeling?

Pretty horrible, to be honest. Loads of stress that I cannot handle any longer.

Anxious thoughts are running rampant today. Need to distract myself. Thankfully I have a double batch of sugar cookie dough just waiting for me to bake off and decorate.

Much better today, thank you.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Like a gay midget at a lesbian funeral.

...what? Hahahaha. 🤭

LadyWench said: ↑

Pretty horrible, to be honest. Loads of stress that I cannot handle any longer.

Long time no hear. Sorry to hear things are still pretty horrible. Hang in there.

Phoenixx said: ↑

Anxious thoughts are running rampant today. Need to distract myself. Thankfully I have a double batch of sugar cookie dough just waiting for me to bake off and decorate.

And then send them to Dr. Zoidberg in Shellharbour, maybe? :bowing:

Sorry to hear about the thoughts. I'm a text away if you need to chat.

Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said: ↑

Much better today, thank you.

This is good to hear. I recall some posts yesterday and the day before when you weren't feeling so good. This is a nice change of pace and I hope it continues. 🙂

Today I went through some of the letters that the only girlfriend I've ever had used to write to me. I'm not sure why exactly I wanted to bring up all those unpleasant memories again. I was 15 at the time (about 8.5 years ago) and to me the relationship felt more like a seven-week torture because of my extreme shyness. In one of her letters she wrote me a poem (roughly translated):

How will I ever know what you want, what you're thinking of?

How will I ever know who you are, what you're feeling?

How will I ever find an answer to my questions?
if the questions are about a weird person...

Someone who keeps on avoiding people
Just keeps on avoiding them...

When they talk about love, about consolation
When there are questions, when there are doubts

Someone who doesn't talk to anyone
who keeps to himself all of the time

But above all
Someone I love with all my heart
Someone I'd like to know better
Someone I love just the way he is


I'm long over her now, but it just reminds me of how I ended up crushing this girl's feelings by avoiding her all the time and acting like I didn't love her at all. Can't believe how hopeless I used to be...

Thank you, MikeyC. Yeah, I've been absent for a while. Not sure why...

Man, it's cold out here.

Actually got a little sun today albeit through the windshield of the car and the windows at the gym but it is the most I've had in a long time.

sunburnt ..

48 hours without caffeine. Withdrawals symptoms slight headache, complete exhaustion.

i can't wait to get off of work so i can surf the magical internet again... k, going to work now. i love you internet. be good. *pet* *pet*

Third day without caffeine energy levels coming back into equilibrium.

dottie said: ↑

i can't wait to get off of work so i can surf the magical internet again... k, going to work now. i love you internet. be good. *pet* *pet*

lol
.......

i ♥ moscow mules in a copper mug

I feel a great sense of emptiness. I sure wish I could express this feeling with some kind of art but I have no idea where to even start. How do you express a feeling of nothingness?

stressed!

There is so much tension and drama at home right now, and I really hate being wound up into this kind of thing, it's so stressful. My aunt died two days before Christmas and there is so much unnecessary drama surrounding the whole thing. I'm not going to go into detail about it, but over the past few months her health had been progressively worsening, and just a few weeks ago she was given about a two weeks' notice to live, and that's exactly what happened. Her husband is such an incredible jeerk… I cannot even believe the horrible things he has said. The rest of her family are very inconsiderate and rude. They will not plan anything at all regarding what is suppose to happen next. They canceled the date of the memorial service that was suppose to take place because for some stupid reason they won't even say. You have to do these kinds of things soon after a person dies of cancer, you don't wait months, that absolutely ridiculous. This isn't just some tiny event either, I imagine it's a service where there will likely be hundreds of people since she was an important person in the community.

Well I really wanted to see my aunt before she passed away but I wasn't able to, so I definitely do want to be able to go to a memorial service, but it looks like I probably won't be able to now. I can't stay out here forever just waiting until it happens. The same goes for my aunt who came from the Midwest to take care of her dying sister while her family did basically nothing. I can just perfectly picture my aunt rolling her eyes at all of this, it’s not what she would want at all. I hate drama, and everyone in this family is so stressed out right now. Why must people be so difficult and disrespectful? They are not honoring her wishes in the slightest and are sabotaging the people who are working very very hard on trying to do what needs to be done. It's too stressful for everyone.

Re: stressed!

April Snow said: ↑

i ♥ moscow mules in a copper mug

Cheers 🙂

S_Spartan said: ↑

I feel a great sense of emptiness. I sure wish I could express this feeling with some kind of art but I have no idea where to even start. How do you express a feeling of nothingness?

Emptiness is wellknown to me. I think it is a big part of most of my art actually. Create something and show it to us please!

Psychedelicious said: ↑

There is so much tension and drama at home right now, and I really hate being wound up into this kind of thing, it's so stressful. My aunt died two days before Christmas and there is so much unnecessary drama surrounding the whole thing. I'm not going to go into detail about it, but over the past few months her health had been progressively worsening, and just a few weeks ago she was given about a two weeks' notice to live, and that's exactly what happened. Her husband is such an incredible jeerk… I cannot even believe the horrible things he has said. The rest of her family are very inconsiderate and rude. They will not plan anything at all regarding what is suppose to happen next. They canceled the date of the memorial service that was suppose to take place because for some stupid reason they won't even say. You have to do these kinds of things soon after a person dies of cancer, you don't wait months, that absolutely ridiculous. This isn't just some tiny event either, I imagine it's a service where there will likely be hundreds of people since she was an important person in the community.

Well I really wanted to see my aunt before she passed away but I wasn't able to, so I definitely do want to be able to go to a memorial service, but it looks like I probably won't be able to now. I can't stay out here forever just waiting until it happens. The same goes for my aunt who came from the Midwest to take care of her dying sister while her family did basically nothing. I can just perfectly picture my aunt rolling her eyes at all of this, it’s not what she would want at all. I hate drama, and everyone in this family is so stressed out right now. Why must people be so difficult and disrespectful? They are not honoring her wishes in the slightest and are sabotaging the people who are working very very hard on trying to do what needs to be done. It's too stressful for everyone.

That is a good question "why must people be so difficult and disrespectful". I guess maybe because we all have very different vibrations or standpoints.
I´m sorry about the weird way your aunts family has handled things after she passed 🙁

I have a headache.
But I feel good about recent creative work I´ve been doing.

I'm disappointed in myself today. I had a big day planned, was going to get a lot done, or maybe just have an adventure, do something fun...instead it's almost 2pm and I'm still sitting in bed in my pajamas, like most of my free days recently. Why am I wasting this precious time?

Bored :////