odetoanoddity
Active member
I'm in a relationship right now, but I fear my SA could potentially break it off :S
Are you married or in a relationship?
- Thread starter CursedSoul
- Start date
MikeyC
Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear this. :sad:
Section_31
Well-known member
Eh.....This is complicated...
Im married. Both my wife and me have S/A, but hers is way more to the extreme. To the point there are many things that she cant do because of it. This forced me to do things i didnt think i could, which has hardened me and made it easier to overcome, but, on the flip side, its also enabled her to continue as she is....somthing that im breaking now.
We may or may not be divorced soon. That part if unknown. But im trying to get her to be more independent...Ive realized ive been enabling her for 8+ yrs and thats only made her S/A worse....need to be cruel to be kind.
Im married. Both my wife and me have S/A, but hers is way more to the extreme. To the point there are many things that she cant do because of it. This forced me to do things i didnt think i could, which has hardened me and made it easier to overcome, but, on the flip side, its also enabled her to continue as she is....somthing that im breaking now.
We may or may not be divorced soon. That part if unknown. But im trying to get her to be more independent...Ive realized ive been enabling her for 8+ yrs and thats only made her S/A worse....need to be cruel to be kind.
Kiwong
Well-known member
Like Mr. Humphries on are you being served?
Unspoken
Well-known member
Nope, but it's affected my ability to wind up in one. I don't think I'd go very well with someone who wants to do a lot of exciting social things in the first place because I'm naturally low-key, so I doubt it would be too disruptive as long as I could go do things with them once in awhile.
A friend
Well-known member
I'd say you're a very lucky person and I envy you, because it seems that the involuntary components in your brain aren't forcing you to want the unobtainable.
What's making me have the desire for a girlfriend/wife operates off of its own will (it's a component of my brain that hopefully I'll be able to have surgically removed one day), and if it wasn't for that, I'd have your attitude on this subject as well.
Believe me, it's a huge pain and it either annoys the living f*** outta me, or makes me sad.
And my message to the other users on this site; if the rest of you are capable of this and don't have something inside your brains that's forcing you to want something against your own will, be thankful. It's a true gift.
The key to a successful life DOES NOT depend entirely upon the game of romantic love, nope. Now, I'm not pointing fingers at any gender here, but if anything, having a bf or gf might cost more money rather then getting any.
If it's about the money, then get a roommate instead. That's a lot easier imo, my little brother got one without even having to try, and so did one of my cousins.
Or, if he's not hinting at money (and a social status symbol instead), then that's totally stupid. Why would you need social approval to live on your own?
A bunch of people (of both genders) had houses when they were single, and still have them now in this day and age.
(This might be a little off topic, so I say we should drop this part quick if the mods get agitated by it)
I'd say you should date him for a few years before planning to keep him. My dad and step mom have been having an unstable marriage (that's been having power struggles throughout the years), and my step mom moved in before their relationship was even six months old.
They got married quickly, and of course now my dad regrets it half the time. So I'd say you shouldn't do the same if you want your mind to stay in one piece, in case your boyfriend is the same kind of person as my step mom (i.e. power hungry).
Nuts is putting it lightly.
Who does?
I think people (of both genders) aren't fans of adults living with their parents in general. Of course, that doesn't make you a bad person. Living with your parents isn't a testament of your morality.
I understand that. I've noticed that some parents I've seen tend to spy on their offspring's relationships, my little brother was victim to that.
I choose to think that this is the case with a lot of people. In fact, I think that in order to have a decently successful relationship, you need to get rid of your problems.
And of course, being by yourself will give you room to do that, and will let you prepare yourself emotionally.
Right now that's what I'm trying to do, because I doubt that I'm in an emotional condition to have a romantic relationship, because I'm loaded with insecurities and still have scars from the past due to being abused by women and watching even worse things happen to my dad along with my other male friends and family members.
My point? Don't try to enter relationships if you got emotional issues, because I doubt your girl is going to want to be with you if you despise her gender.
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
Money will determine whether I buy a house or rent an apartment first. But I definitely do not want a roommate.
A friend said:
As I said, he's out of touch with reality. Maybe he just thinks I can't deal with everything on my own.
A friend said:
Yeah, I'd say at least a year or two. (Of course, this is under the unlikely assumption that I even find someone.) You need plenty of time to get to know each other, in order to avoid situations like that. Even if I think he's the right guy, I still wouldn't be in any hurry to get married or move in together.
A friend said:
Lol.
A friend said:
I had a boyfriend when I was 20ish, but that's still young enough to be at home. I'm 27. If I met someone now, I wouldn't feel like I have any privacy. They don't bother my brother and his girlfriend, but I would still feel weird about it. Likely, my dad would find some way to embarrass me. And I've only got room for a twin bed in here anyway. That's no fun for an adult relationship.
A friend said:
Exactly. I just need the chance to be the introvert that I am. I don't feel I am in any position to be in a relationship right now. Once I get the rest of my life more or less on track, I still may not go looking for a boyfriend, but I will be open to the possibility.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
As long as you're not pushing your boyfriend away. But, if he's the right one for you, he'll understand.
CursedSoul
Banned
so most of u are single???
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
Looks that way. Not surprising. It's hard finding someone with SA.
JohnnAY
Well-known member
This^
Been single for over a year and a half now, but was in one back in 2011. I projected a tremendous amount of my own insecurities on her and it eventually fell apart. Depending on how bad your SA is, it's usually emotionally demanding on your partner. I understood that it wasn't fair for her to continually deal with my anxiety so we both agreed to end it.
So yea, it does affect it.
butterflydreams
Active member
I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now.
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
omg 89 said no and is the most
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
I'm married to my solitude.
Other relationships need not apply.
Other relationships need not apply.
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coyote
Well-known member
yeah, but three said they are both married AND in a relationship :thumbup:
