Are you married or in a relationship?

Are you married or in a relationsip?

  • Yes, married

    Votes: 17 7.6%
  • Yes, in a relationship

    Votes: 38 17.0%
  • both

    Votes: 5 2.2%
  • none

    Votes: 162 72.6%
  • Can't say

    Votes: 4 1.8%

  • Total voters
    223

ukmale

Well-known member
#41
24 in may sadly single and more and likely single forever .. having s.a is hard as it try .. don't see the point in trying some days as its hard finding/getting a r-ship when you do have one you can keep it because of s.a
 
#42
Yes, I have been married a year now and my SA is seriously affecting my marriage. My husband is an extrovert and I explained to him my condition. He says he understands but yet he is always trying to force me into these uncomfortable situations. Every time we go somewhere he has to talk to EVERYONE. He starts conversations with cashiers, waiters, waitresses, strangers sitting next to us in restaurants. What makes it worse is that he will put me on the spot and force me into the conversation. His family is very judgmental and we have to go to their house for holidays and non holidays. I get talked about for not interacting. Sometimes I regret getting married because it's getting to the point that I hate going anywhere with my husband. I feel bad because it's not fair to him but I just don't know what to do. I try over an over again but it only gets worse with each experience.
 
#44
Turning 21 in May, feeling that i'll most likely be single forever. Have had one attractive girl show interest in me, but due to SA i didn't act on it in time and she lost interest :kickingmyself:
Don't actually look myself (the person mentioned above being by chance, i felt incredibly lucky at the time!) and i don't think i ever intend to.

I'm more interested in exploring my psyche with narcotics these days than i am in women.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
#45
I'm currently in a long distance relationship. I think being in a relationship magnifies my insecurities, especially since it is a long distance one. I don't say that to complain though, I try and accept it and see it as an opportunity to grow, which is difficult sometimes but I have to face the fears sometime....So why not now?

I also think it has helped make the relationship stronger because we have great communication and I can voice my insecurities and every time I have she has assured me that she will be by my side to walk through my struggles and will show me she loves me until I believe for myself that I am lovable.
 
#49
Turning 21 in May, feeling that i'll most likely be single forever. Have had one attractive girl show interest in me, but due to SA i didn't act on it in time and she lost interest :kickingmyself:
Don't actually look myself (the person mentioned above being by chance, i felt incredibly lucky at the time!) and i don't think i ever intend to.

I'm more interested in exploring my psyche with narcotics these days than i am in women.
m sorry.........
 
#51
Yes, I have been married a year now and my SA is seriously affecting my marriage. My husband is an extrovert and I explained to him my condition. He says he understands but yet he is always trying to force me into these uncomfortable situations. Every time we go somewhere he has to talk to EVERYONE. He starts conversations with cashiers, waiters, waitresses, strangers sitting next to us in restaurants. What makes it worse is that he will put me on the spot and force me into the conversation. His family is very judgmental and we have to go to their house for holidays and non holidays. I get talked about for not interacting. Sometimes I regret getting married because it's getting to the point that I hate going anywhere with my husband. I feel bad because it's not fair to him but I just don't know what to do. I try over an over again but it only gets worse with each experience.
i hate when sum fam mem forcs me 2 get n to a cnvo...t sukz
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
#54
Yes, I have been married a year now and my SA is seriously affecting my marriage. My husband is an extrovert and I explained to him my condition. He says he understands but yet he is always trying to force me into these uncomfortable situations. Every time we go somewhere he has to talk to EVERYONE. He starts conversations with cashiers, waiters, waitresses, strangers sitting next to us in restaurants. What makes it worse is that he will put me on the spot and force me into the conversation. His family is very judgmental and we have to go to their house for holidays and non holidays. I get talked about for not interacting. Sometimes I regret getting married because it's getting to the point that I hate going anywhere with my husband. I feel bad because it's not fair to him but I just don't know what to do. I try over an over again but it only gets worse with each experience.
In regards to your own situation, trying to think from your husband's point of view, I imagine that him trying to get you involved is him attempting to help you but it seems he's trying to make massive jumps in helping you rather than baby steps. Making small steps to improvement. I feel for you because marriage is such a big step to take and it's partly the reason why at the age of 26, I'm in no rush for marriage.

I would advise to try to talk to your husband and maybe tell him how you feel that you need him to dis-engage publicly and help you by taking smaller steps. So, maybe together, you could come up with arranging a meeting with a mutual friend and having a good evening? I'm not an expert but just some thoughts from my point of view.

I've always thought that if ONLY I had a girlfriend or a wife that I truly loved, then it would actually help me in my SA. You know that saying, the love of a good woman etc? I felt if I had that, I could tackle SA in situations where there are big groups because I'd have my wife as a safety net, she'd be there. But I fear my SA would come back if I had to do a practical task i.e. dropping in-laws to the airport and fearing I'd mess it up.
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
#55
Oh, yeah, I've had that, too. :eek:h: My mother usually is the one pressuring me for a girlfriend. Good luck with your online dating journey. :thumbup:
My parents don't exactly pressure me, but my dad says some stupid things sometimes. He's so out of touch with reality. My brother and his girlfriend (who are younger than me, btw) just bought a house. A few weeks earlier, we were all taking about how housing prices keep going up and I said, "I'll be screwed when I go to buy house." So my dad said, "You need a job first." Well no kidding! I'm not gonna move out if I don't have a job. Then, a moment later he's like, "You need a boyfriend first.":kickingmyself: I just glared at him and said, "Why?" My brother's girlfriend told him, "It's not the 20s." We all laughed. I said, "Thanks." Then my mom pointed out that her stepmom had her own house when she was single. Hell if he thinks I'm just waiting around for some random boyfriend just so I have an excuse to move out. I'm not going to live with any guy unless I plan to keep him, and if my dad thinks that's gonna happen in the next couple of years he's nuts. I sure as hell don't want to be living with my parents in my 30s. If I am, that definitely will not help me get a boyfriend. I don't even like the idea of having a boyfriend while I'm still here. And if I do have a boyfriend when I decide to move out, I still intend to live alone. I need some time to just be by myself.


I'm single and not in a relationship, but people often seem to think I'm married! Just the other day at work, one of the doctors saw that I had a cold and asked if my husband was sick too - lol! Then I was called "Mrs." the other day at my doctor's appt. I'm not sure whether to take this as a complement or to be offended! :question:
I think I would be offended. I'd be like, "What husband is this?" I hate when people make assumptions like that. Sometimes people will ask me questions like, "So what do you like to do when you hang out with your girlfriends?" I just shrug it off and say something like, "Oh, I don't go out much." But I'm thinking more like, "What friends are you talking about?" I do not have a group of girlfriends I hang out with. I have a few distant friends and I don't see them very often. Please don't just assume I have friends.
 
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MikeyC

Well-known member
#56
My parents don't exactly pressure me, but my dad says some stupid things sometimes. He's so out of touch with reality. My brother and his girlfriend (who are younger than me, btw) just bought a house. A few weeks earlier, we were all taking about how housing prices keep going up and I said, "I'll be screwed when I go to buy house." So my dad said, "You need a job first." Well no kidding! I'm not gonna move out if I don't have a job. Then, a moment later he's like, "You need a boyfriend first.":kickingmyself: I just glared at him and said, "Why?" My brother's girlfriend told him, "It's not the 20s." We all laughed. I said, "Thanks." Then my mom pointed out that her stepmom had her own house when she was single. Hell if he thinks I'm just waiting around for some random boyfriend just so I have an excuse to move out. I'm not going to live with any guy unless I plan to keep him, and if my dad thinks that's gonna happen in the next couple of years he's nuts. I sure as hell don't want to be living with my parents in my 30s. If I am, that definitely will not help me get a boyfriend. I don't even like the idea of having a boyfriend while I'm still here. And if I do have a boyfriend when I decide to move out, I still intend to live alone. I need some time to just be by myself.
You don't need a boyfriend to validate your existence. Just do what you want and your parents should support you no matter what. :)
 

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
#57
You don't need a boyfriend to validate your existence. Just do what you want and your parents should support you no matter what. :)
He's never really been supportive of me. He's just hard to please and I don't care. I'll do whatever the hell I want in life and if he has a problem with that he can shove it.
 

drganon

Well-known member
#60
My mom isn't exactly pressuring me to get a girlfriend, but I do think she's getting worried about the fact that I'm 24 and have never been in a relationship. Heck, I'm worried about it too. The older I get I feel the chances of me ever being in a relationship get worse and worse.
 
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