How are you feeling?

[planemo]

^
Yeah I know what you mean. the people in my life always brush off my concerns as meaningless babble. But wait for something "trivial" to happen to them and they'll milk it until the cows come home.

As for me, I think I need to become a heartless and cold person. It's the only way not to be treated like dirt by others. It's something I don't really want to do, but the world is not gonna change, so I have to.

 

[Kiwong]

After 22 days I was able to jog on the spot for two minutes. Not a great day, I looked quickly away from someone, and they laughed knowingly as if that action ws evidence of romantic interest. No such thing, I look quickly away from everyone.

 

[SilentBird]

indulgent...

 

[Kato]

The fleeting of time has never been on my side…

I am led to believe I am baseless in thought and do not express myself properly...

As a child, I got beat for my opinions and words.

I imagined I found a safe place to share where I wouldn’t hurt myself…

I am pained to come here now. I feel I don’t belong here.

I have never fit into any group and feel I never will.

I will accept this as my undoing.

 

[Falkor]

feeling weird after posting my thread. It´s really personal, about negative aspects of my life. but still this is a forum to discuss about things like this.
And I´ve posted things like this already, people still threat me the same way.
I´m always afraid people will think different about me, when I´m sharing my painful stories, But like someone said on my thread, it´s not my fault.
thanks

 

[Chriiss]

Is relieved that I've finished work and don't have to do leave the house for 2 days. Yay!

 

[joyce]

feeling sleepy

 

[Falkor]

I´m feeling happy. Although my Stomach Ache is playing with me, Go away you fool! xD. It hurts a little, but It´s not heavy.

 

[dragonoth]

Urgh I'm in a low mood...All day I've felt disconnected with the rest of the world and now I'm feeling scared about having to even apply for a job, nevermind getting one. Why such an easy thing for everyone else bothers me I do not know. I just dread it like death >.>

 

[MotherWolff]

I feel like.....not doing anything. I feel like doing anything is as good as doing nothing. Motherwolff just has no room for positive feelings. My birthday is coming up soon, but I can't even be happy about that. I should be planning a party with lots of friends and family but I can't because I have no friends and I hardly know my family well. I just wanna throw myself a pity party and drink lots of Jack Daniels. (T-T) Thanks for listening to Motherwolff and sorry for expressing bus loads of negativity.

 

[Sial Axetder]

I feel like.....not doing anything. I feel like doing anything is as good as doing nothing. Motherwolff just has no room for positive feelings. My birthday is coming up soon, but I can't even be happy about that. I should be planning a party with lots of friends and family but I can't because I have no friends and I hardly know my family well. I just wanna throw myself a pity party and drink lots of Jack Daniels. (T-T) Thanks for listening to Motherwolff and sorry for expressing bus loads of negativity.

Fascinating, your avatar, caught my attention.

Birthdays. Hmm, seem important to some. Not to me. Although others around me insist on celebration. Older, I do not want.

Perhaps a nice quiet day instead of hectic chaotic mess? Planning alone sounds familiar to overwhelming.

I am ok today.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Pretty bad. I feel like I might end up running from the opportunity to finally get out of this kind of life that I have given myself by receding back into the comfort of self-hate and giving up. Oiii,well, i'm going, whether or not I beat myself up beforehand or not.. So there

 

[philly2bits]

Flat and empty, yet again.

Thank you very much Depression. You're the gift that keeps on giving

 

[planemo]

I feel terrible. I have no purpose whatsoever. My life has no meaning. I'm drifting from one aimless pursuit to another. I really, really tried to function as everyone else does, but I failed miserably. I don't really know what to do with this life anymore.

 

[BlueDays]

Flat and empty, yet again.

Thank you very much Depression. You're the gift that keeps on giving

True::
Depression's determination to never really leave you alone is unbelievable at times.


I feel like a Robot.

 

[Damaged]

Hmmm im feeling okay i guess, i been thinking about going to the doctors. I think my mum should make the appointment for moiiii and not tell me what day it is on therefore i won't freak out the night before and stop myself from going. Good plan.

 

[replica]

Hell yes! Night run without knee pain at a decent pace. Strategically placed bandaid on the blister hot spot and wore calf guards, appear to be a recipe for success. Didn't feel like a douche wearing calf guards at night as no one can see me

6.85 km
00:33
04:53 pace

 

[Falkor]

I feel miserable, sadness, pain. My mom just said to me ´´You do nothing, you lay on bed till afternoon, you don´t do anything good, everybody is having a social life and you just dont take action´´ I started crying I said ´´Mom I´m depressed doesn´t that make any sense to you, the way you bring this to me, it hurts me so much´´ She said ´´But its the truth, that´s need to be said´´ .
My mom said ´´You don´t want anything!´´ I said ´´You don´t know anything about me then! I want it so bad, but i´m so scared of everything, that´s why I feel so bad everyday and lay in bed till afternoon. oh my.. i can´t stand this ::

My mom just asked me now, ´´What are you doing on the computer?´´ I said ´´I´m chatting on a forum´´ She said ´´You should stop going on that site, it only brings you into the shiit. I said ´´These people help me, they cheer me up and they tell me I can get through this. She said ´´But you ARE STILL NOT DOING ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE!!´´ I said ´´You bring this so rude, you don´t know who i am!!´´

This hurts so much. Nothing which I speak.. makes sense.. not any word of it.. this is why i feel so sad , i wish they could hear my pain

I said to my mom, that i´m going to email my coach if he can help me to get a day routine, because school is still not starting, so I could do anything else, in the midweeks. Because he has many connections. Now she is saying what I need to put in the mail, my parents really need to stop taking control over me, I´m 18 , but because of my sa they protect me too much and they want to take control of everything.
But I´m fighting to get out of that zone, I really wish they could see with their eyes how bad i want to change my life, sometimes they see it, but most of the days they are just saying these stuff what makes me feel hurt, im extra sensetive for these things, i cant handle all those pain.
I know that I need to change, I know that I need to take action, I´m even dreaming of a better life... But they don´t know the real me..
They don´t know how much ambitions i have .. They think im lazy.. that makes me feel sad.. I wish they could see who i really am
I wish they could see my fighting spirit.. but just because i dont show it right now.. doesnt mean i am not a fighter..
but i hope they will ever believe me that im becoming independend.. i can do so much.. but they dont see it now

 

[Feathers]

I feel miserable, sadness, pain. My mom just said to me ´´You do nothing, you lay on bed till afternoon, you don´t do anything good, everybody is having a social life and you just screw it´´ I started crying I said ´´Mom I´m depressed doesn´t that make any sense to you, the way you bring this to me, it hurts me so much´´ She said ´´But its the truth, that´s need to be said´´ .
My mom said ´´You don´t want anything!´´ I said ´´You don´t know anything about me then! I want it so bad, but i´m so scared of everything, that´s why I feel so bad everyday and lay in bed till afternoon. oh my.. i can´t stand this ::

My mom just asked me now, ´´What are you doing on the computer?´´ I said ´´I´m chatting on a forum´´ She said ´´You should stop going on that site, it only brings you into the shiit. I said ´´These people help me, they cheer me up and they tell me I can get through this. She said ´´But you ARE STILL NOT DOING ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE!!´´ I said ´´You bring this so rude, you don´t know who i am!!´´

This hurts so much. Nothing which I speak.. makes sense.. not any word of it.. this is why i feel so sad , i wish they could hear my pain

Hey Flowerie!

Parents can get 'burst outs' like this - my mom has done it many times, with me or sis.. or dad did.. they don't understand the internet/computer and may get 'jealous' of it..
on the other hand, 'internet' can be an addiction, so some balance is good.. I read 5+ hours computer a day can cause depression and memory/concentration problems (!) so... it's better to limit your time a bit..

Your mom just cares about you and has odd ways of showing it!!
Sorry to hear she can't be more sympathetic or inspirational..
Good techniques to combat 'mom anger' are doing the dishes or doing the laundry.. have you tried that yet?

Also, I had a 'day without computer' (almost) yesterday and found I could go to bed more early and get up more early too.. So your sleeping times can be adjusted.. Do you have 'Delayed Sleep Phase' syndrome too? (can't go to sleep at night, can't get up in the morning..)

Also, if you are working on a project, maybe you can include your mom? (works for some things, like she can help with contacts or how to approach someone or something she knows better..) my mom has helped me with eco things quite a bit.. (and she also understands my concerns better if I talk to her about them.. like specifically, 'I'm afraid this person will think/say/do... what do you think would be the best thing to say/way to approach them?') So maybe your mom could become 'project partner' instead of 'obstacle'/additional problem?
It may take a while, do not expect miracles...

And can you go for a walk every day? Works wonders against depression, also she won't know if you went alone or with a friend/relative/etc?

 

[Dr. Doom]

I was able to shave my head so I feel pretty good about that. My head is sort of important to me, at least my hair. I tryed growing it out but it just wasnt right for me.

Didnt do any of my homework. Probably not going to do to well on my final today for geometry. I am dreading the day my semester grades come in because my dad is going to nag me more.

I have the feeling its going to be a long day.