How are you feeling?

dottie said: ↑

i have been chosen to design and build a temporary art installation in my community! excited!

Congrates dottie:thumbup:

im done... really... thats how im feeling... ****ing done with it all. done trying. all i do is screw it all up... so thats it. i ****ing quit

LoyalXenite said: ↑

im done... really... thats how im feeling... ****ing done with it all. done trying. all i do is screw it all up... so thats it. i ****ing quit

Aw, sorry tae hear that, darlin'. But then ah could say the same thing aboot masel' - tae be honest. Ah know, it's no' great tae hear am feelin' the same as you. But anyway, Loyal, hope ya feel a wee bit better soon, awright, sweetheart? :thumbup: Hang in there.

Today is the first week of class. We are required to post our bios on the class website. I was reading through the bios and felt pangs of jealousy. Almost all them are already working in the IT field and have things going for them. Their bios read along the lines of:
"Hi, I'm _____, I'm working as a [insert IT career] and this is my last semseter I'm so excited! I am looking forward to this semester."

I haven't posted my bio yet, because I don't have the courage, but if I did it will be something like this:
"Hi, I'm _____, I am a student in uni. I am unemployed and want to go into IT after I graduate."

I feel like a loser. I don't know if I should even continue with this bachelor's program, but it's my last semester. My major Info Systems so there are business courses I had to take. I already have an associate's in IT but 0 IT work experience. What I meant to say is, I want to quit. I don't even know where I'm going with this.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Aw, sorry tae hear that, darlin'. But then ah could say the same thing aboot masel' - tae be honest. Ah know, it's no' great tae hear am feelin' the same as you. But anyway, Loyal, hope ya feel a wee bit better soon, awright, sweetheart? :thumbup: Hang in there.

Thanks Graeme 🙂 Im holding on, only because i gave my word to my ex that i wouldnt kill myself, thats the main reason im still fighting. Just getting real sick of all the bullshit life keeps throwing at people who are already ****ing done with life...:thumbdown:

jaim38 said: ↑

I already have an associate's in IT but 0 IT work experience. What I meant to say is, I want to quit. I don't even know where I'm going with this.

Definitely don't quit!!

That would be absolutely the worst thing you could possibly do... right now, all it takes is one person to believe in you and your problem will be solved. If you quit, not only will it look extremely bad but you'll have to work even harder to catch up.

I keep asking myself if I'd rather die at 50 after having truly lived and tasted true freedom, or die at 120 without really having ever taken any sort of chances and living a rather conventional, conformist existence like the majority.

thanks, soscared and springk!

feeling random pangs of grief about my ex. i miss his companionship. we were constantly out doing stuff together, even if just walking around enjoying the weather... it's not the same wandering around by yourself. i don't miss his explosive rage, though. egh.

you are sent from heaven, an angel, amazing, wonderful. will go to any length, tell you any lie, so convincing and passionately, move mountains, making and executing grand-scale arrangements... for you, the world!

then, randomly pull the rug out from under you. VOID. a black VACUUM that sucks away your soul without blinking. straight-faced. empathy does not exist. you are a cheap object, disposed of. what's a heart?

you had hopes and dreams? fool! (as if all of the grand-scale mountain-moving never happened.) you are stupid, to be pitied for ever believing in the smoke and mirrors. boring.

what time is it? i've got a train to catch.

^That's sad to hear.

I had a phone call this morning. Had to wake up earlier than usual. It went better than expected. I couldn't get a hold of my boss so spoke with the lady instead. She was nice and polite, plus she's a professor in my field of study. The entire time I was telling myself to fake it till i make it. There were some abnormal pauses here and there, mostly on my end, but I think it went well overall. Sometimes she was joking about herself, and I'm not sure whether I should laugh along or not so I just stayed quiet for the most part.

Pissed off and depressed. I wanted to do a stupid project that I thought was going to be simple, but dear god if I can even fracking measure something correctly or get anything to work right. I feel like a failure, all because of a stupid project. Why the hell do I feel this way?

I really don't know what's up with me lately. My moods have been so erratic and my body has just felt off for the past week now. This isn't even Aunt Flo, I don't know what it is. I feel fine when I'm around family and I'm out and about. Sometimes I actually feel really happy. As soon as I'm left alone though, I feel empty. Not happy and not always sad, just sort of there. I basically feel pointless. I've been skipping meals and medicines due to no appetite and disinterest, to the point where I feel like I need to force myself to eat. I do feel better when I eat, but still. I don't get it. Summer blues maybe? I don't know. :sad:

I hope I feel better tonight. I'm going to the movies with an acquaintance of mine. I don't often hang out with him, but I don't really know why. Sure he's high strung and a very outgoing person, but we actually get along really well. He can be draining to be around, but at the same time he seems to give me energy that I don't often get with most extroverts.

Eremir said: ↑

I found a husky girl on street,near me,although she was weak and dirty she was very beautiful,and very quiet and smart,i took her in and fed her,but my mom wouldn't let me keep her because she was afraid of her and didn't like her and i don't understand why,she forced me to give her out in the street again,i didn't had any other options because if i didn't give her out she would,now she is in the front of my gate crying to let her in and i don't know what to do.....now i have this weird sadness,exactly what i needed.Can't wait to leave this place,one way....or another.

That´s crap.. is there any shelter nearby where you could take her at least?

Eremir said: ↑

I don't know,i'm gonna find out tomorrow,now is late,hope she's still around....

That does suck, but much appreciation to see a fellow stray savior :thumbup:

Feeling much better after taking a break from the internet...
Meanwhile I've come to the conclusion that too much internet has a direct negative impact on my health, so I'll be going on a break in order to focus more on my health and other stuff I should be doing... wishing everyone the best!

A lot better than I have been all week, being alone that is. Actually ate a full meal and took my medicine before going to the movies tonight, which definitely helped. Plus going out tonight and watching a good movie brought up my mood.

Now I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted.

gazelle said: ↑

Feeling much better after taking a break from the internet...
Meanwhile I've come to the conclusion that too much internet has a direct negative impact on my health, so I'll be going on a break in order to focus more on my health and other stuff I should be doing... wishing everyone the best!

^ Good to hear. I get like that too if I have too much internet time. My negative moods tend to become worse and it really is no good. I'm due for another little break again.

Phoenixx said: ↑

^ Good to hear. I get like that too if I have too much internet time. My negative moods tend to become worse and it really is no good. I'm due for another little break again.

I agree I'm like that too, too much internet can sometimes be really energy consuming.

Um very lonely, afraid, frusterated, and anxious.

It is never okay. One after another , i can't face everything, often feel like giving up. I am tired of this whatever.

Slightly nervous because of this evenings possible club visit.
Increasingly nervous because my new job starts on monday.