There are days when I just can't stand myself. I'm sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself, of failing, of being a push over. I am dissatisfied with my job, with school, and mostly with myself. I hate that I am weak and can not shake these toxic feelings off. I hate everything about me. I look at myself, and I disgust myself. I hate every single thing about me.
I hate that this stupid depression has a hold on me. That these panic attacks make me their bitch. It's like I'm not even worthy of myself.. Why can't I stop this shit?
The pain. God. It's so suffocating, and even though I want to breathe, I can't make myself try any harder. I'm done with all the shit. I'm just dog tired of being tired.
Life does not get easier. It gets harder, more painful, and more out of my control. Why do I continue to run this rat race to no avail?
I ****ing hate Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays and Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays.