Thanks Miss Phoenixx and Opaline for your nice words =)
^ You're welcome.
Procrastinatin', eh? Aye, am the same lately. So much tae do, yet ah cannae be bothered.
^ Yeah procrastinating is one of my talents. I did finally get around to cleaning my room though, so I guess I'm not the best procrastinator out there.
I got to talking to a friend tonight, she sent me a text since today was originally the day we were supposed to hang out, but ended up being with her boyfriend instead since it was his graduation day. I was okay with that, but lately she had been brushing me and another friend off just to hang out with her new bf -- and that's what was pissing me off for a while. She sends me on such an emotional rollercoaster... or maybe it's really all me. When I feel I should be mad at her, she somehow works her way into my better side and she's so easy to forgive (and I'm not usually that forgiving of a person). I have to admit though, I get into such jealous rages. Obviously when it occurs, I feel I have the right to feel the way I do. Which in a way I do, I shouldn't feel ashamed of being jealous, it's a natural human emotion. My problem though is that it consumes me so much, I hate it and I really don't know what I can do to brush it off. After pondering, I do realize that a lot of my jealousy/envy stems from fear. The fear of losing the people around me. I have lost so many friends already, the only two I have left I feel a great need to hang on to. I'm not even clingy to them, I'm still my independent self who likes my space, but as soon as I see or hear of them hanging out with other people or going out I get so insanely jealous it's kind of stupid and turns me into this terrible person. I really don't know what to do about it.
This turned into a wall of text, my bad. To conclude: I love her to death, she's still like the younger sister I've never had
(who is also 10 times a better person than I'll ever be) and I can never stay mad at her. I'm over my stupid jealous fit/grudge I had for over a week. And I'm glad she still texts me once in a while because that at least tells me she still cares, even if I don't see her face all that often.