Popularity, self esteem, and self perception in a place like this.

[Psychedelicious]

Blahs

I don't know. I wouldn't say I am completely ignored, but surely there is always going to be that feeling sometimes. I know it's unreasonable to think that someone is always going to respond to my posts or pay special attention. There's just too many for it to always be me. Half the time I don't even want people to pay attention to what I am saying. To be paid super special attention you usually have to give out a similar amount of attention to what you get. I do take forever to write my posts, but that's mostly just because I need time to THINK!

 

[lunarla]

When I first joined, I did feel like I was on the outs. But then the more I posted, the more integrated I felt. My posts don't get a lot of responses or anything, and especially threads that I start myself, ha. But that's not really an issue.

 

[JamesSmith]

I'm very opinionated and straightforward so a lot of what I say is me expressing what I think. I'm sure there are people on here that don't like me, but that will happen at any forum with the way that I express my views on things. I probably get less feedback and responses on my posts because people tend to disagree with a lot of things I say. Honestly, I don't really know why people disagree with me as much as they do. I get that people disagree with people who are opinionated, but it does seem like people like to object to the way I say things on here. It's not like it's that bad, I've had some good agreements with people too on certain subjects. And then of course there may be people that agree with what I say but don't want to post anything which is what I do sometimes too, so I understand that. But as far as popularity goes, this place is kind of similar for real-life for me. I'm not popular and not too well-liked. Some people like me, but I think many just don't agree with me and don't like my opinions, which makes me unpopular on here.

 

[BlueDays]

....It's not about learning how to be popular - it's about learning how to let go of the desire to be popular in the first place.

Spot on!
I find the older I get the more I realize this.
There are some benefits to getting older.lol

 

[Kiwong]

I think that this is a really supportive and constructive forum compared to many others on the internet. The relative lack of flaming is a breath of fresh air.

I'm not too concerned about my popularity on here. It's been good to interact and see social anxiety from the perspective of others. It is also a good place to learn to open up and trust people more.

 

[vj288]

When I first joined I will say that was not the case, I felt as if I was given more attention than I expected actually, embraced with open arms. I only feel ignored when I'm expecting people to reply or acknowledge a post or thread.

In regards to popularity, given the nature of a site it seems to be an unfortunate side effect. For these active users who feel well received and liked among the community it is a good feeling that they may not get in real life, but to less active or new members who experience the same thing in real life may come here and see the same thing is happening and feel excluded for this reason. A sense of community is a good thing I think, but it is hard to have that without people feeling out of the community. Self-esteem and self-perception do play a role I think, but there is also a real-world aspect to it that may not be as strong as it is in High School for example but is still there. I don't think this is as prevalent on the serious threads as it is on the more "fun" ones, which often get criticized by those who don't like them, possibly for this reason, possibly just because it's something they aren't interested in and are frustrated on them clogging up the threads that serve a more direct purpose.

 

[Kat]

It has crossed my mind but I do realize sp can make you have those assumptions and even if there was a grain a truth in it you can’t please everybody. I try to come to this place with an open mind and heart most have sa on here so I already can relate to more people on here than in real life and that’s mainly why I come here. I like the people on sp forums a lot more than other places I have been to.

 

[uhmm_doh]

Interesting poll, and interesting results too. I was expecting to see more of "getting ignored but don't post much"

Hmmm... it's not hard to figure out where I voted

 

[panicsurvivor]

I think on this site its all about what you put in. In real life it is like this to, but there are a lot more factors. With the exception of good looking people who post pictures of themselves, it is all about how much you put in on spw. Take Coyote for example. He is probably the most popular person on spw. If you check all of the Intro posts where someone introduces themselves he is on everyone of them. He tends to participate in all the silly threads, and try's to help on the serious ones. He also makes an effort to have a sense of humor and make others laugh. How many posts does he have? Like a million or so right? I never used the rep system, but I didn't really know about it. I don't understand and don't like when people on here get upset when others are friends and say positive things to each other. I wanted to start positive threads on people on here and was hoping others would do it. But was blocked because this broke a rule of favoritism. I wasn't upset that the mods removed the thread, but I was upset that people actually complained about my thread. I thought that this was very bitter and insecure. This is a support forum for people with anxiety issues. When people make friends on here it is a beautiful thing. For some people, the friends they make on here are their only friends. Most people on here that are what you would call "popular" on the site are very caring people who will go out of their way to try and help you. This is WHY they are popular in the first place. Another example is Feathers, to my knowlege there are no pictures of her on this site. But any time someone has a serious problem she will right a small novel trying to help you. Of course she is more popular than say.... Panicsurvivor who has only posted 300 or so times and doesn't get on here as often as he would like. Like I said you get what you put in. I really don't think anyone on here who is popular really cares about being popular anyway. I know my motivation on this site is mainly to try and help people. I have made friends along the way and I love all of them, but when I first came on I was determined to try to help as many people as I could as much as I could. I think that if I have any popularity at all it is because of that.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

^That was well said, I think

 

[Lea]

I think I receive average attention, according to how much I post. If I wanted more attention, I would post more or actively tried to interact with the people. But I rather tend to withdraw because I have a tendency to piss people off, sometimes I wonder if I am even worse off than I thought

 

[DespairSoul]

Panicsurvivor u are a wise man. Really truly said it i agree with your opinion.

 

[Quiet Angel]

Nobody ever responds to posts I make, but when I make a thread, people tend to respond.

I feel like an outcast here but that's okay. I'm used to it. *lol*
Most of the time, I enjoy listening to other people & responding to them.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Nobody ever responds to posts I make, but when I make a thread, people tend to respond.

I feel like an outcast here but that's okay. I'm used to it. *lol*
Most of the time, I enjoy listening to other people & responding to them.

*Responds*

 

[Sial Axetder]

Well I do feel ignored here but that's because I'm not interacting properly with others. I seem to lack the bonding gene which seemingly haunts me even on the internet. I feel like I'm being fake if I take an interest in others; either that or I have the sense that others would feel burdened by my presence. I suppose that's why I've always been a loner, even on SPW. In any case, it does seem like the leaving-threads are one big popularity contest. Especially when the person in question returns after a few days. That's making it a little too obvious if you ask me.[

Ah, yes. I agree.

Are you being fake? Perhaps it is simply thoughts false and not thoughts truth.

Are you a deep thinker?
--------------
When I first dropped in. I was a wreck.
No idea what, who, when, why.
Now better I have become. And many, many more walls, eradicate.

 

[philly2bits]

I don't come here to be popular. And making friends is secondary. My main purpose is to help myself, as selfish as that may sound. If it helps me to give advice or reply to a post, then I will do it. If not, then I say nothing. I see no reason to offer an opinion on every topic just to be heard. Or to butt into conversations because they are controversial. These would be against who I am, and I'm not going to betray myself just so I can say I'm popular in a website community. I'd rather my true self be liked by a few then a fake me be liked by many.

Sure, having throngs of people responding to me here would probably give me a self esteem boost. But it wouldn't last because I would know they only responded to a me I deliberately choose to show. A me that only can exist behind the safety of the internet and typed words. I've been presenting a false me in person for my whole life already, why continue here? A place I joined to stop such things.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

This advert at the bottom doesn't help things

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

This advert at the bottom doesn't help things

I use firefox with the adblock plus extension. I never see 'em.

So far, 40% of people polled feel ignored here. Interesting.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

Yes, I do feel ignored on here most of the time. I don't post too much but my threads never get many posts. Perhaps it's because I sometimes make threads over topics that are often discussed but it still sort of hurts.

 

[coyote]

....With the exception of good looking people who post pictures of themselves, it is all about how much you put in on spw. Take Coyote for example....

so what you're saying is...I'm NOT good looking....