Popularity, self esteem, and self perception in a place like this.

[panicsurvivor]

so what you're saying is...I'm NOT good looking....

LOL. Of course I am not saying that! You are quite "distinguished looking", very "classy", and "Seasoned". ::::::::

 

[panicsurvivor]

In any case, it does seem like the leaving-threads are one big popularity contest. Especially when the person in question returns after a few days. That's making it a little too obvious if you ask me.

Yeah I gotta agree with you on that one too. I think that is just a little imature. I think it started when mrb left and started one. There was so many positive responses, to him going that I think a lot of people were envious. I will do a leaving thread if I really am going to leave. But I wouldn't come back a couple of days later. This is very much a "drama queen" thing to do, and not very kind to anyone who actually is your friend.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

You are quite "distinguished looking", very "classy", and "Seasoned".

So, you're saying that coyote's face =

 

[lurknomore]

I think it started when mrb left and started one. There was so many positive responses, to him going that I think a lot of people were envious.

Mrb is the biggest drama queen alive, but I'm pretty certain there were "goodbye" threads long before his. And I don't think he actually said goodbye (in a thread) before leaving for real this last time.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Mrb is the biggest drama queen alive, but I'm pretty certain there were "goodbye" threads long before his. And I don't think he actually said goodbye (in a thread) before leaving for real this last time.

Your probably right. He was the first one that I saw. But I have not been on this site that long. I just remember his because it was the first one that I saw and there were so many responses. I don't remember him being a drama queen. He seemed to be pretty mellow and funny, and avoided topics that were dramatic and sensitive.

 

[lurknomore]

Your probably right. He was the first one that I saw. But I have not been on this site that long. I just remember his because it was the first one that I saw and there were so many responses. I don't remember him being a drama queen. He seemed to be pretty mellow and funny, and avoided topics that were dramatic and sensitive.

Yeah, he was hardly ever serious. I just really meant that he was a sucker for attention.

 

[coyote]

LOL. Of course I am not saying that! You are quite "distinguished looking", very "classy", and "Seasoned". ::::::::

I see.... In other words, I'm OLD...

So, you're saying that coyote's face =

dude, that's how I felt when I got up this morning

 

[Stepan]

Its the first option for me... I guess thats no wonder on social phobia website...

I tried to start a conversation a couple of times, but i got no answers, so it just made me feel depressed...

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I must admit, I pretty much do a facepalm every time I see an 'I'm leaving' thread too.

dude, that's how I felt when I got up this morning

Did you have a fun night last night?

I tried to start a conversation a couple of times, but i got no answers, so it just made me feel depressed...

Do you mean you messaged someone personally and they didn't respond, or what?

I often try to be friendly to new posters, and I try to message people back who message me. I don't always do either for various reasons. Chief among those being how much social energy I have at that particular moment.

 

[Dr. Doom]

I chose other. I'd say I get a fair ammount of attention on this. I mostley use chatbox then the forum, but on on my threads I get people, sometimes dozens of posts with input from other people. I dont think I post very well though, like my threads posts aren't really worded well or something. Hard to explain, but I dont feel ignored by any means, sometimes I feel like I annoy some other people though.

 

[Stepan]

Do you mean you messaged someone personally and they didn't respond, or what?

Of course i do get responses on threads, i meant that chatbox thingy...
But the truth is, i wouldnt know what to talk about anyway...

 

[Minty]

I don't think anyone should aim to have all of their posts responded to. That's impossible and indicates nothing about who you are. For example, a troll would receive a lot of attention by posting controversial threads. They would become popular but that doesn't mean they're a good person.

So your self-worth shouldn't be based on how often people respond to you.

Your aim should be to connect with the community by telling your story, or even reading about other's experiences that you can identify with. You can just lurk and feel someone connected with others because you have been through what they have been through.

It's also better to have one friend on SPW, one person who you consistently speak with and who cares about your well-being, than to have all of your posts replied to by people who barely remember your screen name.

 

[panicsurvivor]

I don't think anyone should aim to have all of their posts responded to. That's impossible and indicates nothing about who you are. For example, a troll would receive a lot of attention by posting controversial threads. They would become popular but that doesn't mean they're a good person.

So your self-worth shouldn't be based on how often people respond to you.

Your aim should be to connect with the community by telling your story, or even reading about other's experiences that you can identify with. You can just lurk and feel someone connected with others because you have been through what they have been through.

It's also better to have one friend on SPW, one person who you consistently speak with and who cares about your well-being, than to have all of your posts replied to by people who barely remember your screen name.

I agree with every word of this post.

 

[kihira]

In any case, it does seem like the leaving-threads are one big popularity contest. Especially when the person in question returns after a few days. That's making it a little too obvious if you ask me.

I think that everyone will leave and return for genuine reasons; they will return after a few days because they are surprised by the response they get; because they miss the place and/or are addicted; and because they get the attention from others that they need. Many people live with deflated feelings of self-worth and esteem and rely on others to help keep their spirits up. Some can ask directly for input from others; some are afraid to do this and ask indirectly. They are simply expressing a deep need.

 

[killertubbie]

What a coincidence seeing this after making a thread. I'm pretty new here so I'm not so sure how it works. I'll get used to it. It tooks my account some time to get activated but I've been reading some threads here and there a month ago.

I guess it's not a big deal for me to be ignored since I'm new and that's ok but for the others who's been here for a while and who felt that way, I'm just sorry and it's not because you are less of a person than the others who gets more attention.

Anyways, it's a common problems in every forums and maybe some subjects has been treated before or the writing is not that great.
Maybe we should lower our expectations and not get too personal in here?

 

[Dronee]

When I first joined I will say that was not the case, I felt as if I was given more attention than I expected actually, embraced with open arms. I only feel ignored when I'm expecting people to reply or acknowledge a post or thread.

In regards to popularity, given the nature of a site it seems to be an unfortunate side effect. For these active users who feel well received and liked among the community it is a good feeling that they may not get in real life, but to less active or new members who experience the same thing in real life may come here and see the same thing is happening and feel excluded for this reason.

I'm pretty sure that people here hate me. Many of them at least. Whatever. They're just too polite to openly flame, which is a good feature of this site.

Anyway, I used to try and reply to all the zero replies threads or on certain posts.. like some of the pictures thread or whatever where some of the posts get no replies. I think it takes a lot of courage for some of the posters here to even start posting, let alone put up a picture.

@phocas: I'm not so sure about that...

 

[Kiwong]

I was a member of knee guru site for a while when I had bad knee pain. I rarely go back now. If I find that my social anxiety no longers occupies my mind then I might eventually move on from here.

 

[kihira]

I'm pretty sure that people here hate me. Many of them at least. Whatever. They're just too polite to openly flame, which is a good feature of this site.

Anyway, I used to try and reply to all the zero replies threads or on certain posts.. like some of the pictures thread or whatever where some of the posts get no replies. I think it takes a lot of courage for some of the posters here to even start posting, let alone put up a picture.

@phocas: I'm not so sure about that...

I doubt they do, can't imagine too many people here hating anyone. I search out zero posts as well.

Your thoughts on how you're not so sure are welcome...

 

[Anti Matter]

I don't know what it is, but I can't communicate very well on a forum. I feel like almost that I can't post a relpy to anyones thread really because I feel like no matter what argument or response I post back I will always end up looking an idiot.

Or people just don't geanerally care to respond because I can be an extreemly boring person in my eyes.

I know everyones great on here and they support each other as much as they can but I almost feel like I'm hindering people by talking about just MY problems, when I try to engange in conversation about someone elses problems, I usually can't help.

Anyway, meh.

 

[Kiwong]

No way Dronee, I think your are one of the more intelligent posters.