Sometimes you're helping by talking about your problems because people can identify with you. They might have the exact same problem and by reading what you're talking about--well, it gives them a sense that they're not alone in the world.
Popularity, self esteem, and self perception in a place like this.
- Thread starter NathanielWingatePeaslee
- Start date
Sometimes you're helping by talking about your problems because people can identify with you. They might have the exact same problem and by reading what you're talking about--well, it gives them a sense that they're not alone in the world.
True I suppose.
Just had this vision of him skipping around in a girls dress and pigtails
He'd probably do it and post a picture if he were still around
::I agree!!
Minty, bonus points!! You said it well!!
Stepan - the chat thingie sometimes doesn't work, or people don't notice if someone started chatting (at least I haven't sometimes, if I was deeply focused on answering on the forum!) Also, I haven't figured out how to talk with more than one person - the chat thingie is a bit weird.. So that doesn't really mean anything.. And if I don't reply to anyone it means I'm either busy or didn't see you!! (Or maybe I don't know you and I'm afraid of you?
)
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Most likely.
Dronee
1
Just had this vision of him skipping around in a girls dress and pigtails
................. Ok... Now I'll have even more trouble sleeping at night with such an image. Ga! Lol...
Thanks for your kind words guys... Hmm.. I think that the poll is rather misleading at the moment. Many of the people I've talked to here feel hated or at least ignored.
At the moment, 47.56% of the people in the poll feel ignored. While that's a depressingly large amount, it's somewhat less than I would have guessed. Another 2.8 feel outright hated, and votes in the 'other' category likely include some negative perceptions as well.
On the whole, the results seem to confirm my suspicions--that feeling ignored here is common. Which, well, sucks.
I'm hoping this helps people realize a lot of that is because of how they feel about themselves and a lot more is for completely impersonal (and basically dumb) reasons.
It's so easy for people with brain problems like ours to slip into paranoid and otherwise negative thinking when it comes to other people.
If you're a noob, by all means, post more! If you're not being a troll, your first few dozen posts (or more) may easily be overlooked and it doesn't mean poop! That should take some of the pressure off worrying about them, too.
Sometimes, it hurts to be ignored, because then I begin to think about every possible negative reason why... The anxiety will wreak havoc on my mind. Regardless of the reason, I'm learning to not care when it comes to that. I'm a hypocrite if I complain since I'm ignoring people as well. I'm often speed scanning through this forum
Here's a reason: a little while ago I typed up a response to your thread, then deleted it because I felt like an idiot just babbling on about stuff I didn't know what I was talking about. I delete at least half the posts I type up. I'm just typing this now because I felt guilty for you feeling ignored on account of my own idiocy. :
:Here's a reason: a little while ago I typed up a response to your thread, then deleted it because I felt like an idiot just babbling on about stuff I didn't know what I was talking about. I delete at least half the posts I type up. I'm just typing this now because I felt guilty for you feeling ignored on account of my own idiocy. :
Awww, I wish you didn't delete it... but I understand. I'm a chronic post deleter myself! I actually had a wall of text for this thread, but I cut out about 90 percent of it due to my insecurities. I almost didn't post at all heh
Deus_Ex_Lemur
Well-known member
Here's a reason: a little while ago I typed up a response to your thread, then deleted it because I felt like an idiot just babbling on about stuff I didn't know what I was talking about. I delete at least half the posts I type up. I'm just typing this now because I felt guilty for you feeling ignored on account of my own idiocy. :
I do this all the time and still post. Probably why I get no attention :
: no lol. Although I do babble too much... ugh.
I do this all the time and still post. Probably why I get no attention :
# Posts Per Day: 0.09
^^I think that's a better explanation of any lack of attention you've been getting. :
: You seem like a decent fellow from the chat, anyway.
I agree, sir. Well put.
SotiCoto
Banned
Seems much the same as anywhere else so far...
... But then I've not been around long enough to judge effectively.
Naturally, I've already come into conflict with a few people in thrall to their emotions and with no grasp of rationality... AND got an official warning on the first day for giving unpopular advice... but that is about par for the course.
I need to gather more data to form a stable and informed opinion.
... But then I've not been around long enough to judge effectively.
Naturally, I've already come into conflict with a few people in thrall to their emotions and with no grasp of rationality... AND got an official warning on the first day for giving unpopular advice... but that is about par for the course.
I need to gather more data to form a stable and informed opinion.
Capsaicin
Well-known member
I don't tend to feel ignored on forums except for the busier ones, where the rule of familiarity is taken to the extreme and people who post fifty times a day but talk over everyone else or contribute nothing receive more attention than people who post less but contribute and show concern for others. I leave those pretty quickly, because it's a toxic atmosphere unless you're either very self-centered or need to kill time.
The Internet is one big grab for attention, though, so I don't know what else to expect. Finding little oases is nice.
I tend not to comment on other posts because experience has shown me that people tend not to talk back very much on support forums. I'll try sometimes, but it feels contrived to throw out "Good job!" and "Me too!" all the time, and it's unlikely that longer, more open-ended posts will be responded to. Quite a few people don't talk back on their own threads, so I usually cut short the effort I put in.
Maybe when my anxiety and depression was severe any interaction at all would have been bolstering, but at this point where I just sweat half to death during interviews and mentally fumble when people talk to me offline it doesn't make much of a difference. I like wasting time and I keep up the hope of meeting the occasional kindred spirit or brainstorm buddy, but it's limited. I could be spending the time and effort I spend on a longer, more honest post like this talking to my family or people I already know who won't just think "tl;dr".
It's all pretty bad for my self-esteem, and my levels of depression are directly related to how much or how little time I spend on forums (all forums). No amount of "Good job!" or "Me too!" responses is anything close to meeting someone who thinks my ideas are interesting enough to pick apart over a drink. My self-esteem and feelings of belonging rose the most when I started meeting people who cared about and took me seriously enough to do this. Before that I was just Poster #231456 and Good Deed #53223.
The Internet is one big grab for attention, though, so I don't know what else to expect. Finding little oases is nice.
I tend not to comment on other posts because experience has shown me that people tend not to talk back very much on support forums. I'll try sometimes, but it feels contrived to throw out "Good job!" and "Me too!" all the time, and it's unlikely that longer, more open-ended posts will be responded to. Quite a few people don't talk back on their own threads, so I usually cut short the effort I put in.
Maybe when my anxiety and depression was severe any interaction at all would have been bolstering, but at this point where I just sweat half to death during interviews and mentally fumble when people talk to me offline it doesn't make much of a difference. I like wasting time and I keep up the hope of meeting the occasional kindred spirit or brainstorm buddy, but it's limited. I could be spending the time and effort I spend on a longer, more honest post like this talking to my family or people I already know who won't just think "tl;dr".
It's all pretty bad for my self-esteem, and my levels of depression are directly related to how much or how little time I spend on forums (all forums). No amount of "Good job!" or "Me too!" responses is anything close to meeting someone who thinks my ideas are interesting enough to pick apart over a drink. My self-esteem and feelings of belonging rose the most when I started meeting people who cared about and took me seriously enough to do this. Before that I was just Poster #231456 and Good Deed #53223.
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Well... I don't get lots of responses from my posts but I don't mind because my main purpose of joining here is to read other member's experiences and to share my thoughts that I couldn't freely express in real life. But for those who wants to get noticed, you should make yourself visible. Be active in the forum, give comments, share your thoughts regularly... I'm sure you'll be in the limelight in no time. But I don't really get why popularity should be a big deal here anyway.
I vent my feelings on here and reply to people's threads a lot, but I try not to take it too personally when people don't respond to my threads. It's nice to have someone quote me or respond to me every once in a while, but I see it as an added bonus. I could certainly upload a picture of a cute girl and change my username to something more girly like "fun girl", which will garner me a lot of attention, but I chose not to do so. I think of SPW as a place to unload my feelings, thoughts, and opinions, not some place to become a forum rockstar.