(poll) How important are looks in terms of dating someone?
- Thread starter Jim_Bergerac
- Start date
I'm a believer that looks do somewhat get you 'in the door', at least 90% of the time. I also believe that most of the people who disagree are lieing at least to themselves. You have to find somebody at least remotely attractive to date them. From there it's personality. Although you can come across somebody who has particular personality trait/s or generally what you deem as a great personality, and they could be beautiful to you from that just alone.
madness_lover
Well-known member
Physical attraction is important. Even something as simple as a nice smile or hair, there has to be something about that person that should be attractive to you. It's like a presentation card, the first thing that draws you towards that person. Personality is what can make or break the deal; an interesting personality adds to a person's beauty the same way being shallow and bland can make anyone less attractive regardless of looks. Chemistry is key (both physical and emotional).
Elad
Banned
I have a real hard time believing the people who continuously say looks are not important to them, since they are usually the first thing you notice in a person.
I'd say they're important but no more important than other qualities.. even if that sounds completely shallow, there needs to be some spark/chemistry like "I want to rip your clothes off right now" well maybe not that extreme but you get the idea lol.
I'd say they're important but no more important than other qualities.. even if that sounds completely shallow, there needs to be some spark/chemistry like "I want to rip your clothes off right now" well maybe not that extreme but you get the idea lol.
Waybuloo
Well-known member
TBH, ATTRACTION is important, and it usually is affected by looks but looks might not be the sole factor. I can see that Brad Pitt and George Cloony are good looking per se but I am not attracted to them. I have been attracted to nerdy looking people because there's a quiet mystique about them. What usually attracts me to someone is a twinkle in the eye and a nice smile. I also like someone more if they show an interest in me, and i've heard this is quite universal.
I understand where you are coming from though, because I have a massive inferiority stemming from my PERCEPTION of my looks. I've had people make nasty comments about my features, mainly in school. But the ones who said that had a nasty agenda to make them feel better.
I think for guys, looks matter quite a lot, even if they don't want to admit it. Some girls think looks are important, the rest value security, affection, the attention they receive, and stimulation in the way of humour and intellect. Many girls won't want to go out with good looking guys, because most women are insecure that he will attract a lot of female attention and so might stray.
I understand where you are coming from though, because I have a massive inferiority stemming from my PERCEPTION of my looks. I've had people make nasty comments about my features, mainly in school. But the ones who said that had a nasty agenda to make them feel better.
I think for guys, looks matter quite a lot, even if they don't want to admit it. Some girls think looks are important, the rest value security, affection, the attention they receive, and stimulation in the way of humour and intellect. Many girls won't want to go out with good looking guys, because most women are insecure that he will attract a lot of female attention and so might stray.
Looks are not that important to me, I guess. Although there has to be at least some attraction going on. I mean, if looks shouldn't matter at all, like some people claim, should I just start dating guys?
. The most important factor, for me at least, is someone that I have a lot in common with (I doubt such a person exists) and that I'm comfortable being around with. The sad thing is that, even if I did find someone who did not annoy the hell out of me, I wouldn't be comfortable being around them at all. For obvious reasons.::
. The most important factor, for me at least, is someone that I have a lot in common with (I doubt such a person exists) and that I'm comfortable being around with. The sad thing is that, even if I did find someone who did not annoy the hell out of me, I wouldn't be comfortable being around them at all. For obvious reasons.::This. I hate when that happens, though. Because I know full well that nothing will ever come out of it so it only serves to torture me.
I can't say for sure that nothing would come of it, but it does make me wonder whether I'm not just being "carried along" by the attention. I'm pretty sure that's why I got married so young to someone that I ended up not even liking that much. It was my first experience, so I had no others to compare it to, plus I was depressed and vulnerable- not that he took advantage intentionally, but we both had no idea what we were really getting ourselves into. Young and stupid is only exacerbated by issues like SA and depression.
I don't think people are saying that looks don't entirely not matter. Obviously you have to be physically attracted to someone, it's the first thing you notice about people, their outer appearance but once you get past the point of "Alright, I think he/she is cute" then comes getting to know them. That's what keeps you and therefore the relationship that forms is based on how they make you feel. I've met hot guys before and just because someone has a pretty face doesn't mean sh*t to me if they have an attitude I detest. Either way if you find someone who's only dating another person because they're hot or extremely attractive in the obvious sense they're probably not after a relationship but looks and sex.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Aren't threads like that a bit harmful for a site like this? There's people with low self esteem and eating disorders here...
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
I am not in my 20s or 30s. I am still in my teen years. But I will answer your question anyways.
Looks means NOTHING to me, absoloutely not a thing, and I am not just saying this, I have come to believe this strongly. I am looking for an especially understanding, humble, relatable person, and if that soul came in the form of a 500 pound person who had no head arms or legs and had a machine to speak for them, I'd still fall in love, because it's this rare attitude and wisdom that I feel I need to complete my life.
Looks means NOTHING to me, absoloutely not a thing, and I am not just saying this, I have come to believe this strongly. I am looking for an especially understanding, humble, relatable person, and if that soul came in the form of a 500 pound person who had no head arms or legs and had a machine to speak for them, I'd still fall in love, because it's this rare attitude and wisdom that I feel I need to complete my life.
agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
i voted 'somewhat important' ..i always say looks are as important as attraction. you have to have some kind of attraction for it to be a healthy relationship.
