(poll) How important are looks in terms of dating someone?

[Pink_Paula]

I have to agree with Serafina, looks are imprtant to a certain extent, but you can meet the most gorgeous guy ever and he can turn out to be the biggest bore, personality comes into it a lot, granted, you might meet someone with an amazing personality and still not be attracted to them, but to have a successful relationship i think you have to find someone both physically and mentally attractive. or maybe that's just me lol

 

[illuminationSP]

What it comes down to is what that persons standards are. Some have high standards on beauty and some don't. Even the sexiest of people aren't good looking enough for some people out there.

Right. For instance, I don't see anything in Megan Fox or Heidi Klum, but the rest of the world does. It all comes down to preference.

 

[Kat]

I 3rd what Serafina and Paula said!

 

[losttroy]

I 4th it!You have to have a little of both. The initial thing that attracts us to people is what we see. I have heard humans still have pheromone receptors that trip from time to time. But I think that's probably horsepuckey nowadays. The bod is where it all begins. And what keeps the interest for 6 minutes, or 60 years, is what we hear, taste, smell, and you can imagine the rest of the senses.

 

[Jim_Bergerac]

I hope I don't offend anyone with this. For me I find a lot of women attractive, if any woman has quite a nice figure I could definitely be interested in them if I like their personality. The only turn off in terms of looks in women are women who are significantly obese. It doesn't put me off if they are a bit overweight, but it does when they are lot overweight.
The two women I have liked the most in recent times, at first sight I was not attracted to them by how they looked at all. They were just average looking women. But they had the most amazing personality, just so cool to chat to, interesting, nice natured, intelligent, etc. After a while I just thought they were so cool and desirable.
But from what I have seen, most people seem to be a lot more particular about looks than what I am. I've seen so many examples of men and women equally only interested in people who they were very attracted to purely by looks.
I have this friend at work who is a good looking guy and I am not joking, at least 6 women have emailed him at work (they had never spoken to him before) and asked him out saying they thought he was hot.
I just cannot believe that looks isn't what its all about for people. Its like this woman I used to work opposite, she was nothing special in terms of looks but she admitted she was shallow and she said she would only ever date guys who were in her eyes gorgeous looking. She said any guy who is just a nice guy but she didn't find great looking are just friends. That to me seems like the reality of what I have seen and experienced.
I know guys who think the same about women too. I am not for a minute implying women are any more shallow than men, I think its equal.
But me believing this that looks are so important combined with the fact I was always put down about how I looked in the past, it just makes me feel so inadequate and not good enough. I just don't believe I am good enough for anyone. I hate thinking this way.

 

[Nack]

You generally show interest in someone who you are "physically" attracted to first before trying to get to know them. But there have been occassions where I was attracted to the persons personality after being around her for quite some time. But naturally its looks. no doubt about that...

 

[AGR]

It does matter a lot for both genders,even though people dont like to admit,I mean just look at threads like celebrity crushes,post your crushes and etc

 

[redski]

Well there is that saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I do believe, or from my own experience at least, which are limited,
that there has to be some initial attraction and usually these are based
on looks because that is the first thing you notice about a person
before you get to know them.

The older I have gotten the more I think personality is sexy.
I mean there good looking women with no personality
and there are the average looking women with really great personalities.

 

[Interzone]

They are pretty important in my opinion. I'd would want go out with a "good" looking girl then with a "bad" looking girl. Of course beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder...

So, I'd say it's pretty damn important. Which is funny cause I don't consider myself a very good looking guy yet I want a good looking girl. It's shallow and judgmental, yet it's what I want and it's not going to change.

 

[userremoved]

It does matter a lot for both genders,even though people dont like to admit,I mean just look at threads like celebrity crushes,post your crushes and etc

Lol I was actually just thinking about that too. I only recall seeing a few pictures of what I would consider an average looking person on that thread. However that's probably just raw sexual attraction and fantasy. Fortunately with age and experience people learn how to separate their reality guys and gals from their fantasy ones. I can't speak for the younger crowd though.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Of course beauty is subjective and in the eye of the beholder...

People keep saying this. It's a popular saying, but in the end it's not very true. The ideals of beauty for both sexes have long since been mathematically calculated through intensive research. Individual taste does not stray far from the ideals.

The ideal models are used to great economic advantage by advertisers, who take the faces and bodies of people who are already pretty and enhance their photographs to fit the ideals, thus more effectively selling you their crap.

 

[Bemzy]

For guys, looks matter more than for girls IMO.

And if you're a guy, looks can only get you to a certain point...it's more important to know how to talk.

 

[shore_of_glass]

I guess everything was said here.

If I like someones personality, maybe I'd go a bit over my standards (still, with limits!)
If I don't like someone's personality, It's all ****ed lol, even if I like the way she looks.

 

[TheWall]

Physical attractiveness is important to me, but that doesn't mean they have to look perfect or good-looking in a conventional way. I've been attracted to people that most wouldn't, so I don't think I'm too picky. I couldn't be with someone I'm not attracted to and I think that is how most people feel, that's why I completely understand why no one wants to date me.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I couldn't be with someone I'm not attracted to and I think that is how most people feel, that's why I completely understand why no one wants to date me.

Hate to break it to you, but you are cute.

 

[userremoved]

Hate to break it to you, but you are cute.

I was thinking the same thing. Girl you just need to learn to like yourself more. There's nothing wrong with the way you look.

 

[losttroy]

Everyone deserves to be loved.

Don't you think if Napoleon Bonaparte was really loved by Josephine, that he would have been a bad person? How about if Hilter could have married his childhood sweetheart??

Love is the only force that can make a chitty world sing.

 

[Jim_Bergerac]

Thanks for some interesting replies. I was thinking I am so confused but maybe I am confused as to how I look and how people see me rather than how important looks are. By that I mean I had loads of put downs in the past about how I look which has made me believe that is who and how I am and how people see me, but I look a lot different now, I look my best now, but I just don't know the reality any more.

Looks do matter to almost everyone but to different levels and really no one should be critical of people who place a huge amount of importance on looks because we all like different things and are attracted to different things. No one wants to be with someone that they are not attracted to.

But really you should live life being yourself, aiming to be the best you can of course, but that's all you can do and you shouldn't worry what people may think. If people like you they like you, if they don't they don't. Worrying about it achieves nothing and only causes problems - confidence is a hugely fantastic and desirable quality, worrying and being self conscious drains it.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I know a lot of unattractive people who are in relationships, so I don't think that's the case.

 

[Array]

I believe that people really look at this the wrong way.. People are attracted to different things. Some people are attracted to fat people, some are attracted to skinny. Some are attracted to shy, some attracted to outgoing. Some are attracted to blonds, others brunettes. Some people are attracted to blue eyes, others brown, others green... etc.. etc... etc... etc..


On the other note there things that anyone can do to become more attractive..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People are attracted to positive, happy people...
People are attracted to people with good posture (Back straight while walking)..
I notice when i'm standing straight in the mirror i look much more attractive..
People are attracted to people who smile...
People are attracted to healthy people.. (Work out, eat right)
Get regular haircuts and shave
Learn to dress well....


I found an old picture of myself and compared it to how i look now and really have come along way. You will be surprised how much better you can look by changing your clothes, posture and hair. Alot of it is about how you present yourself.... Spend some time working on it, try new clothes, work on your posture. This is one of the things i actually enjoy now actually. When its time for new clothes i'm like yah! I wonder what look i wanna go for this time.


If you ever seen the movie THE HOUSE BUNNY it will show how much it can make a difference. Although the transformation is on females there.