How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I have no idea what your responsibilities are at home. Here's a suggestion based on my uninformed assumption about your home life: perhaps you could try doing things without being asked? For example, if you don't ever do the dishes, just do them. Don't ever take out the trash? Do it. Never tidy up the house? Do it. Never make coffee or tea for your family? Do it. Small things add up. In my experience, people appreciate it more if you don't even ask if they need help, but just do things for them unsolicited.

This way your sister can't ever moan about you "not helping out," and I'm sure your entire family will be appreciative of you for doing the things no one else wants to do.

Well I try and keep the house tidy, mainly. And make sure things get done around the house. But any time ah attempt help in the kitchen, my mother tends to fall out with me cuz she usually gets in a crabbit (bad) mood if I try to help out too much.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Well I try and keep the house tidy, mainly. And make sure things get done around the house. But any time ah attempt help in the kitchen, my mother tends to fall out with me cuz she usually gets in a crabbit (bad) mood if I try to help out too much.
I don’t think you will ever be able to please your family from the sounds of it. That means it really has nothing to do with you-it’s all their b.s. Best you can do is not try to take it personally and move the heck out of there whenever you can.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I don’t think you will ever be able to please your family from the sounds of it. That means it really has nothing to do with you-it’s all their b.s. Best you can do is not try to take it personally and move the heck out of there whenever you can.

Nope ! But I’ve known that for years. That’s especially true for one member o’ the family in particular — and it’s not my mother. Despite what a control freak she’s been with me over the years. It’s just difficult to detach from it and not taking personally. Since they go outta their way to make it personal. Like a few weeks ago when my older sister said to me: “You dae f…k all aroon here, anyway”, I never snapped. Because that’s not how it’s been for the past 2 years.

Though, I’m glad ah kept ma gob shut because ah very nearly blurted out in the moment: “Really?! Ye mean like spending time with your kids. Or, wait... they spend time with me” Which would’ve really pissed her off.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Not doing particularly great, aw things considered. My sisters had a massive argument before our uncle’s funeral about a feckin’ Facebook comment. And then there wus another row about why Christmas is $h!%* when we have it at Mum’s every years. And what a f…kin’ surprised: am tae blame ! Why...? Because I bugger off back to my room after the Christmas dinner is over.

As if I actually want to be stuck trying to make small talk with somebuddy who despises me. Ah mean, would you? Especially if that same person took joy in repeatedly reminding you that yer taste in music, movies and books was utter shite, in their opinion.

On a more positive note, my uncle’s funeral service was lovely. Quite simple, nothing over the top. No bagpiper playing before the start of the service, or as the coffin was being lowered. It just about his life, what he did throughout his life, his family, and the things he loved to do.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Toxic people really bum me out.

Probably gonna have to ditch one pretty soon. 20% of me says don't do it because our relationship hasn't been all bad. 80% of me says it's necessary if I want to continue on my path of improvement. I don't have the time nor energy to deal with toxic people anymore.

It's just me myself and I
Solo ride until I die
Cause I, got me for life
(Got me for life, yeah)

I don't need a hand to hold
Even when the night is cold
I got that fire in my soul
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
As if being pissed off at one older sister was bad enough. Today, the oldest pretty much had a tantrum at me over the fact that ah - brace yersel’...Didn’t reply to any of her emails yesterday. For the whole day. :cry:

Ah mean, how f…kin’ immature, like. Oh the humanity ! Yer wee brother ignored ye for 24 hours, how did ye ever cope wae that?! Yet, am no reacting like that — going in the huff — when she does’nae respond to my emails.

But aye, just sod the fact that, yesterday, I was assembling a new laptop tray and monitor mount for my computer desk. By. My. Self. As well as test out the new 4 input audio interface I just bought the other day. Or that I was getting things sold via eBay, so had to print a lot of postage label.

It’s not as if I’ve got a life or anything even resembling it at this point. :mad:
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been feeling off all day. Woke up from a really weird dream this morning that left me sad. Felt so withdrawn most of the day. Plus I've had a stomachache all day too, which doesn't help. I had a great two days, so positive, and then today I feel like I'm crashing, like my body doesn't want me to be happy. :(
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I've been feeling off all day. Woke up from a really weird dream this morning that left me sad. Felt so withdrawn most of the day. Plus I've had a stomachache all day too, which doesn't help. I had a great two days, so positive, and then today I feel like I'm crashing, like my body doesn't want me to be happy. :(

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I had a few weird dreams last night too. To my great relief upon waking, I hadn't actually experienced, like, three socially awkward events. Just pranked by REM sleep yet again.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Been having a difficult few days. Just feeling more depressed than usual. :(

I’m also still wondering if I should join my family for Christmas dinner this year. Don’t really know, to be honest.
That “you do eff all around here” remark made to my face by my older sister made me fell like I’d be better off not sitting at the table this year. Or should I be guilt-tripped and emotionally blackmailed into it, like I always am? :unsure:
 
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Phoenixx

Well-known member
A part of me is in a good mood today, but I keep having this negativity nagging at me. I had a job application and shadow yesterday and there's a good chance I'll get the job. (Yay! So what's the problem??) I'm ready to go back to work, but I'm scared because it's a whole different environment and field I've never worked in before. It's a small workplace, smaller than my last job, so you'd think I'd feel less anxious, but I actually feel more anxious because I stand out more. Not that I didn't stand out at my last job, but... I guess it's just 'cause it's different and new and I know I'm going to make a lot of mistakes at first and I just hope no one judges me because of it. I feel like, because I'm fresh out of college working a field I actually majored in, I should know everything. And I'd hate for them to see that I didn't learn as much as I should've in school.

I also have to interact with dozens of people in a day as well with this job, everyone of all ages. It's a huge challenge for my social anxiety, but one I can mostly manage within time, I think. Except I'm dreading interacting with kids. I'm not good with kids. I mean, I'm good with kids with my husband's family, but kids I don't know I don't like and yesterday was a reminder of that. A mom came in with her 3 year old daughter and her baby. The baby girl had snot running out of both nostrils into her mouth, meanwhile she's sucking on her fingers. *barf* The mother never even wiped her nose or anything. At one point she put the baby on the floor (barely crawling age) and let her play with some toys. Her toy of choice was to suck on a matchbox car (Seriously?) while her nose was still running into her mouth. While mom's having her appointment and consultation, her 3 year old daughter was running from the room to the entrance of the office, grabbing toys and books and running back. She kept interrupting with questions (she was a curious one; I like curiosity but there's a time and place for it and this place wasn't one of them honestly), and mom would stop what she was saying to answer her questions, and go back to the conversation. It was so distracting and quite frankly driving me insane. The little girl kept asking to be read to, so I knelt down and told her to sit next to me and we'll look at the book together. Thankfully she seemed open to it, but she kept telling me to read to her and I declined, telling her that "We don't want to interrupt your mom's meeting. We should read quietly." I had to repeat that three times before she got the point and read out loud to me quietly. When we were done, she says a smartass remark of, "You should've read to me!" and walks off. Sheesh. :rolleyes:

Neither of the women I was working with seemed to have a problem with this, including the mother, which makes me feel like maybe I'm a horrible person who hates children and has no patience for them.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
I also have to interact with dozens of people in a day as well with this job, everyone of all ages. It's a huge challenge for my social anxiety, but one I can mostly manage within time, I think.

This is great for social anxiety in my opinion. I've been in the same situation, but ultimately I am a more socially adept person from having suffered through it. If I were you I'd take cues from your coworkers. Pay attention to how they interact with each other and others in your workplace. Then emulate them (unless they are complete assholes), giving your emulation a little touch of your own personality. It will probably suck for a while, but you'll be alright and eventually get the hang out it. :)
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Mentally and physically tired. Had an anxiety episode yesterday and after 12pm today, I've barely done any work. Not helped my isolation at work that others don't tend to do much to alleviate.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Not good. My head has been killing me all day (tension headache) and my neck feels tight but doesn't hurt to move. I feel jittery and had nausea earlier. Web MD said it's possible I have meningitis, and I did get an infected bug bite last week that I already took antibiotics for and it's healing, BUT there's always that 2% chance right??? :unsure: My mind is telling me I'll probably have to go to the hospital soon if I don't feel better or feel worse tomorrow. Because meningitis. :confused:

And that ^^^^ is a sure sign that I'm completely having an anxiety attack and haven't let myself get to panic stage as my body always does this. Builds up until I break. :cry:

I think I'm nervous about tomorrow as I'm starting my new job. My thoughts haven't stopped all day -- wondering what to wear, how I'm going to talk to people, how I'm gonna progress, how am I going to be able to do workshops in the future, how I'm going to fare with future traveling, what are my coworkers going to think of me, etc. etc. :(
 
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