How are you feeling?

Fuckin’ hud enuff !! :mad: I’m so sick of having shoulder the burden of care for my mother. When aw she does is snap at me whenever ah try tae help her. Then, am the bad yin fur reacting by telling her tae f_%* off for giving me attitude. Which my Mum always reacts to by saying: “Sorry, ah did’nae mean it !”. Ah think I might just tell my oldest sister the responsibility on her noo, cuz I’ve had as much as ah cun take, as far how am treated. :cry:
 
I am feeling very lost (mentally).
It's like I got off the bus at the wrong stop in 2014 and have been trying to work out a way to get back home, ever since. Now I'm so lost I've ended up in a city I don't even recognise.
Perhaps you're not lost, and a new city is better? I find it easy to look at the past and long to find the path back to that, but in reality that's only one possible destination. The best place to hang your hat may be just around the corner of this unknown city, you'll never know until you take a look around though.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
So a lady at work said she was keen to run some fun runs with me. So I was bold and sent her a message saying there was a fun run on in April if she and a friend were interested.
 
So a lady at work said she was keen to run some fun runs with me. So I was bold and sent her a message saying there was a fun run on in April if she and a friend were interested.
...So I was bold and sent her a message saying there was a fun run on in April if she and a friend were interested.
there was a fun run on in April if she and a friend were interested.
if she and a friend were interested.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Found myself cycling back between here and Tumblr and roaming a bit. (Nice site change, btw!) I always do when life gets challenging for me mentally and emotionally. I like to go through old posts and read them and see how far I've come. It makes me feel a little better knowing I survived those times and I'll pull through this too.

It may pass like a kidney stone but it will pass.
 
Bad move you reckon Fountain? Maybe her interest has shifted to surfing..
It's okay, but it would've been better just to invite her, I think. But if she likes you she'll just say her friend cancelled on her at the last second and show up by herself, anyway. The important thing is that you took the initiative and sent her a message, that's big.

Keep in mind that I haven't been on a date in ten or eleven years, so definitely don't think I'm judging you. I just want things to work out for you because you're a good guy.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Man you have been on a date! You're light years ahead in experience, Fountain. My intuition would suggest this is someone being friendly. And I am all for company and conversation, which is a big step.

you're a good guy too. Sweet puppy you have.
 
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Well... looking that 3 thousand pounds in back dated disability payments I got recently is getting ready to up n’ fuck off...

I got a letter through, yesterday, saying that I owe £4,000 in council tax ! :eek: Feckin’ shower o’ robbin’ [email protected]$%@rds !! :mad:

Even though ah wus telt nothing would change, money-wise, as far what I was paying in terms of council tax. At the time I’d agreed to sign on as a tennant. Should’ve known there’d be a f__kin’ catch for me getting my name put on the tendency of the family home. :(:mad:(n)
 
Perhaps you're not lost, and a new city is better? I find it easy to look at the past and long to find the path back to that, but in reality that's only one possible destination. The best place to hang your hat may be just around the corner of this unknown city, you'll never know until you take a look around though.
That advice is very soothing to my soul, vj. Thank you.
It helps to get other perspectives like that that I may not have even considered.
 
Found myself cycling back between here and Tumblr and roaming a bit. (Nice site change, btw!) I always do when life gets challenging for me mentally and emotionally. I like to go through old posts and read them and see how far I've come. It makes me feel a little better knowing I survived those times and I'll pull through this too.

It may pass like a kidney stone but it will pass.
Omg! Hello Phoenixx!!

acaff49dc77531acb084e241c5102246.gif




(I miss the old waving smiley we used to have in here....)
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Well... looking that 3 thousand pounds in back dated disability payments I got recently is getting ready to up n’ fuck off...

I got a letter through, yesterday, saying that I owe £4,000 in council tax ! :eek: Feckin’ shower o’ robbin’ [email protected]$%@rds !! :mad:

Even though ah wus telt nothing would change, money-wise, as far what I was paying in terms of council tax. At the time I’d agreed to sign on as a tennant. Should’ve known there’d be a f__kin’ catch for me getting my name put on the tendency of the family home. :(:mad:(n)
Can you fight it?

Omg! Hello Phoenixx!!

View attachment 4423




(I miss the old waving smiley we used to have in here....)
You might be able to find little gif versions of the old smileys we had?
 
Possibly... I'll talk to my oldest sister about this whole council tax issue, as she's more knowledgeable as far as what I should be paying and what money I'm owed. Though, she did say that 3 thousand in back-dated benefits payments is mine, and I was entitled to it. The only things she told me is that she thinks this tax issue has come about because I got my name on the lease for the family home. So, I'll see if I can fight that letter say I owe £4,000 in tax, and get my name taken off the lease. Especially if it's just going to cause more problems with my disability benefit payments than it's worth.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
I know... but I’ve kinda gotten accustomed to be ignored. As wrong as that is to say.
How do you feel about that?

Most of them, yeah... take the limitations of my disability into consideration.
Did you mean for me to take your disability into consideration regarding learning the necessary skills you needed to learn?

Well, again speaking from my own experience, it was either, learning to fend for myself as best I can, or face a life being overly dependent upon others. And as daunting is it was I pushed on, despite my fears or doubts.
I have to make that decision as well. How did you push on despite your fears or doubts?

Slight pain, but that was mainly due to my body still adjusting to what I had done. As I kinda took the rehabilitation into my own hands, as the physiotherapy team were delayed in getting out to me by a week after I got my leg casts off. And they hadn’t been notified to give me initial home visits until I got the enough strength back in my legs to weight bare, then my rehab continued at the hospital. And as a result, I was back on my feet with 3 months as opposed to the 5 to 6 months that was projected when I initially said I wanted the surgery done.
How did you take the rehab into your own hands? What is weight bare and them not being notified to give you initial home visits was part of your rehab that was delayed by a week? Why was the rehab continued at the hospital? So the result of rehab at the hospital made you back on your feet within 3 months?

Since I was born with my disability, it will eventually get worse. But as long as I stay as fit and healthy as I possibly can it should get worse at the rate I was told it would when I was 12, and doctors told me I’d be wheelchair bound by the time I was 30. Even when I went for my surgery, one of the surgeon was surprised at how much leg strength I still had for my age.
What is the rate you were told when you were 12? So you are not in a wheelchair currently for your age?

Oh, I told her both times, as did my oldest sister. While my Mum was impressed I’d managed without her, she wasn’t overly happy about it. Like she was happy for me, but kinda resented that I’d proven I can take care of myself, despite my disability. As my oldest sister pointed out, our mother always wanted to feel needed. That said, she has been less argumentative whenever I do something for myself or asked to help around the house since her trips to Ireland.
That's messed up that your mother kinda resented that you proven to take care of yourself but good she is less argumentative whenever you do something for yourself or ask to do something around the house. Sorry for the late reply, I been dealing with lack of motivation, procrastination, and anxiety. So if i'm inconsistent or take a long time to respond it is probably for that reason.
 
Ah wish things were how they were for me 3 years ago... I think that might’ve been the last year that I was truly happy. :(

So f__kin’ fed-up with having to put my life on hold just because someone in my family can’t be bothered doing something so simple, that they have dumb me with the responsibility of doing it. :mad: Cuz heaven help ‘em, should they actually have do something for and by themselves. I’m forever picking up the slack n’ rarely get a “Thanks” or told my help is appreciated. But ah don’t get helped even when ah ask for it ! Naw ! I’m just told: “You know better than me, Graeme. You know best...” Which is always a great f__kin’ help, so it is. Superb advice !

Then again, ah spent my formative years being telt repeatedly that I was a worthless, unless, effin’ [email protected]$%@*, not unlike my deadbeat, abusive, absent-til-the-teenage-years father. Whereas my older sister was told the exact opposite o’ aw that. But it’s me who’s spoiled - the cripple wae the funny walk who has to ensure things get done around the house. Y’know, the yin who’s rarely gives himself a break. And the lad who feels guilty whenever he leaves his f__kin’ house, cuz the parent who did such a swell job raising him can’t cope with being on her own ! :mad:
 
How do you feel about that?
Not great, I try not to think about it too much...

Did you mean for me to take your disability into consideration regarding learning the necessary skills you needed to learn?
No, I was just using my own experience of learning those necessary skills as an example. And, I also had the limitations of my disability to keep in mind while I was learning them. So I had an extra hurdle to overcome in that respect.

I have to make that decision as well. How did you push on despite your fears or doubts?
Positive affirmation... instead of thinking the worse. And not listen to my mother when she’d say something to discourage me or get me down.

How did you take the rehab into your own hands?
I just ask my oldest sister to do a web search and print me off some exercises that would be suitable for getting the strength back in my legs. And I did them for the week whe


What is weight bare and them not being notified to give you initial home visits was part of your rehab that was delayed by a week?
Oh, after I got my plaster casts off my legs, I couldn’t put my full weight on my legs, meaning I was very unsteady whenever I stood up, or off balance when trying to walk. And I specifically told I wasn’t allowed to put my weight on my right leg, and had to use a walking frame while I had my plasters on. Because my right leg had more done to it when compared to my left leg.

And the physiotherapy team assigned to me hadn’t been told I needed home visits, so it was a week before they become involved in my rehab. As they were under the impression that I was coming to the hospital for my rehab soon after getting my plasters off. But I wasn’t able to stand, let alone walk, so they had to out to my house and try and figure out how things were going to go, once my legs were strong enough and I was more steady on my feet.

Why was the rehab continued at the hospital?
Mainly because, aside from the walking frame I brought home from the hospital, I didn’t have anything in my house that was similar to those parallel bars that are commonly used in the rehabilitation of leg injuries or surgeries. And there was only so many exercises I could do with my legs while laying on top of my bed.

So the result of rehab at the hospital made you back on your feet within 3 months?
Kinda... I was back up on my feet within 3 months, that was in April of 2016. And I only got my surgery done in January of that same year. But my rehab was scheduled from February through to July. As I was expected to be off my feet for 6 months.

What is the rate you were told when you were 12? So you are not in a wheelchair currently for your age?
When I was 12, I was told I’d likely be wheelchair bound by my mid-20s. I’m not in a wheelchair, currently. But I do use one when I’m going somewhere where, if I was to walk about for long periods, my legs would get sore.

That's messed up that your mother kinda resented that you proven to take care of yourself but good she is less argumentative whenever you do something for yourself or ask to do something around the house.
Yeah, it’s only because she can’t boss me around as much now. And I think she’s finally realised that I don’t really need her, it’s more a case of her needing me. She did try and talk me out of getting my surgery done back in 2016. But she made the mistake of making it about her, telling I shouldn’t get it done but not giving me reasons why, when the final decision was mine to make.

Sorry for the late reply, I been dealing with lack of motivation, procrastination, and anxiety. So if i'm inconsistent or take a long time to respond it is probably for that reason.
It’s okay, no need to be sorry. Just reply whenever you feel like doing so. Don’t feel that you have to respond right away when I reply to you.
 
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