How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Emmaa
Well-known member
feeling so UGLY. Without make up i'm a monster. I'm going to make up again, although it's evening and I should be wearing my PJ'S and just relax with my wild messed up bed hairstyle look, but I cannot approve myself to do that.
In the morning I feel like sh*t when I look in the mirror and in the evening after showering I feel like a ugly monster because my Face is messed up.. >_<
I'm so obsessed about looking ''perfect''. It makes me sick... I dont wanna sound like a barbie doll whomever complains about looking sooo beautiful and stuff.
But I just want to look good, BDD is killing me.. :-/ But I know I actually can be good looking, but without make up.. Believe me, I look weird.
I tried to sleep, I'm in bed for an hour now, just feeling sad because of my face, how pathetic am I? at least my folks think I do!, They say I should not even give a damn about my face, but I do. It's my priority to look good. (too good...:
I'm like posing every picture that has been taking, My life is like a modelling catwalk. Ay ay ay
I just want to look like all those models, i wish I could hide all my imperfections, but when i look in the mirror i focus only on the imperfections
When someone would ask me in front of the mirror like, ''What do you see?'' I would say. ''This, this, this, is all bad''.
I started to do this, and now I only focus on that. I don't see my beauty :/
But sometimes I WANT TO GET TO THE POINT.. OF BEING FREE OF ALL THIS.. just say like.. even if i'm the most ugly girl in the world,
i dont carreeeee, come on and see my imperfections, put some spot lights on it, and i dont care. I'm just the way I am.
I should not care.... Because thats the key.. but i still do... :S and people bullied me coz of it :S
I dont like making issues.. i dont wanna be a dramma queen.. but i cannot stop this.. habit.. but i just wanna be myself and be happy with it
I'm the same, but maybe not to the same degree. I HATE how I look, it's disgusting.. And it really gets me down. I can definitely relate to you!
You look lovely in your picture though, if that's any help at all. You've got a lovely bone structure
lunaticbinge
Well-known member
Insanely tired.
anomicdeer
Well-known member
I need him.
Where is he?
Who is he?
Where is he?
Who is he?
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
I am feeling ok. Need to exercise then get in the hot tub ahh...
my head hurts some like i have been friggin hit with a board though.
my head hurts some like i have been friggin hit with a board though.
Falkor
1
Heey fifegirl!! welcome back!!! Big hug for you!! I hope you will feel better soon! Times change
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
One of my dearest friend is in town today! I haven't seen her in years!
DarkPhoenix
Well-known member
Sleep deprived. Again i went to bed far too late and woke up far too early.
Danfalc
Banned
Depression will do that to you, the less you do the more lethargic you become I find. I don't think this time of year helps with all the stress either.
Danfalc
Banned
Sending you some internet *hugs*
*Rant* On a random note I'm In pain, small perforations have opened up again in my lung, the air is leaking into my chest cavity and the pain is intense. The hospital says it isn't serious this time but it bloody hurts, I hope I don't have to have it drained again >.<
Perforations? Ack. Were you stabbed or something?
BlueDays
1
Thank you for the internet hug!
Omg, that does sound very painful:
: What has caused these perforations?
Danfalc
Banned
Thank you for the internet hug!
Omg, that does sound very painful:
Welcome
, and In answer to you and Nathaniel I got stabbed a few years ago and my left lung partially collapsed. It hasn't healed fully apparently and small tears have opened up again.
LookingForward
Well-known member
Bloody'ell Dano, that doesn't sound like something you should be walking around with... are you getting it seen to?
Danfalc
Banned
Yeah I have been to the hospital already, it's how I know I have tears again In the first place
I have to go back for a check up In a few weeks. But thankfully it's just causing discomfort rather than anything serious. Smoking is probably not helping it heal ::
Generical
Well-known member
Seems like a good thread to type to a blank box.
Well it's past 2 o'clock and i can't sleep mainly because i've been doing absolutely nothing for a while, and right now in that lying awake stage where you go though past memories and imagine different ways of doing things. I've gone through the superman fights where you manage to beat the shhh out of several people thinking yeh that's what i would have done if they hit me....and the why the hell did i not actually grow a pair and tell the people i like how i feel or better yet not turn into a retard when someone you respect asks you for drinks etc. You know the good memories ha.
And then eventually you remind yourself why you don't bother with these things why you turn people down it's because out of the last several months you've been out of the house less than 10 times, you don't have a job to keep you occupied and you spend the day doing, not totally useless stuff, i keep my brain going, try to be creative, it's just stuff that really isn't going to get me out of this situation. And i can't see myself ever proudly explaining this to someone, i'm quite embarrassed about it and that's what overpowers the majority of my self respect, so much that it doesn't seem ?logical? (not quite the word i want) to actually open myself up to people.
Now i'm not particularly in a bad way at the moment, kind of a unhappy sounding post, i mean i find it quite funny. I just needed to do something to make me tired enough to get some sleep it's just i dunno i guess i realised or remembered this isn't exactly normal, i'm totally comfortable and able to go on this isolated because that's how i've always been, it doesn't feel strange but put it into perspective of other people or even myself when i've had a job and just simply getting out more it's surprising to step back and look at yourself.
I don't expect this epiphany to change anything it'll more be, 'remember when you realised that you need to actually get out and gain self worth to build your life' in a sort of awwww check out how naive you sound sort of way as i carry on doing whatever makes the day more interesting...
Well that was fun.
3 o'clock!
Well it's past 2 o'clock and i can't sleep mainly because i've been doing absolutely nothing for a while, and right now in that lying awake stage where you go though past memories and imagine different ways of doing things. I've gone through the superman fights where you manage to beat the shhh out of several people thinking yeh that's what i would have done if they hit me....and the why the hell did i not actually grow a pair and tell the people i like how i feel or better yet not turn into a retard when someone you respect asks you for drinks etc. You know the good memories ha.
And then eventually you remind yourself why you don't bother with these things why you turn people down it's because out of the last several months you've been out of the house less than 10 times, you don't have a job to keep you occupied and you spend the day doing, not totally useless stuff, i keep my brain going, try to be creative, it's just stuff that really isn't going to get me out of this situation. And i can't see myself ever proudly explaining this to someone, i'm quite embarrassed about it and that's what overpowers the majority of my self respect, so much that it doesn't seem ?logical? (not quite the word i want) to actually open myself up to people.
Now i'm not particularly in a bad way at the moment, kind of a unhappy sounding post, i mean i find it quite funny. I just needed to do something to make me tired enough to get some sleep it's just i dunno i guess i realised or remembered this isn't exactly normal, i'm totally comfortable and able to go on this isolated because that's how i've always been, it doesn't feel strange but put it into perspective of other people or even myself when i've had a job and just simply getting out more it's surprising to step back and look at yourself.
I don't expect this epiphany to change anything it'll more be, 'remember when you realised that you need to actually get out and gain self worth to build your life' in a sort of awwww check out how naive you sound sort of way as i carry on doing whatever makes the day more interesting...
Well that was fun.
3 o'clock!