feeling so UGLY. Without make up i'm a monster. I'm going to make up again, although it's evening and I should be wearing my PJ'S and just relax with my wild messed up bed hairstyle look, but I cannot approve myself to do that.
In the morning I feel like sh*t when I look in the mirror and in the evening after showering I feel like a ugly monster because my Face is messed up.. >_<
I'm so obsessed about looking ''perfect''. It makes me sick... I dont wanna sound like a barbie doll whomever complains about looking sooo beautiful and stuff.
But I just want to look good, BDD is killing me.. :-/ But I know I actually can be good looking, but without make up.. Believe me, I look weird.
I tried to sleep, I'm in bed for an hour now, just feeling sad because of my face, how pathetic am I? at least my folks think I do!, They say I should not even give a damn about my face, but I do. It's my priority to look good. (too good...:
I'm like posing every picture that has been taking, My life is like a modelling catwalk. Ay ay ay
I just want to look like all those models, i wish I could hide all my imperfections, but when i look in the mirror i focus only on the imperfections
When someone would ask me in front of the mirror like, ''What do you see?'' I would say. ''This, this, this, is all bad''.
I started to do this, and now I only focus on that. I don't see my beauty :/
But sometimes I WANT TO GET TO THE POINT.. OF BEING FREE OF ALL THIS.. just say like.. even if i'm the most ugly girl in the world,
i dont carreeeee, come on and see my imperfections, put some spot lights on it, and i dont care. I'm just the way I am.
I should not care.... Because thats the key.. but i still do... :S and people bullied me coz of it :S
I dont like making issues.. i dont wanna be a dramma queen.. but i cannot stop this.. habit.. but i just wanna be myself and be happy with it