An evening oot in Glasgow wi' ma sister - went tae a stand-up comedy show - temporarily relived ma depression. Now, it's back awfy suddenly. :sad: Which is very unusual fur me, especially efter a 2 hour comedy show.
Ah must be mair dour n' depressed than ah thought. :omg:
But then, lately, ah've been feelin' judge coz, well, ah dinnae really talk much anymair. Due in part tae ma social akweirdness and uncomfortable silences during conversations - which ah've grow accustom tae.
Also got a glib comment wi' regards tae ma social anxiety n' depressed that "If ye dinnae think aboot it, then it'll gan away" Some folk would call that denial, no? As a result uh me bein' a bit of a NED - and ill at ease - folk tae avoid me like a leper's hairbrush. Also, ah think am losin' ma sense uh humour.
Nuthin' seems tae be gan right fur me, at the moment. :kickingmyself:
A Hot day!! I need ac but then i don't like the idea of ac , it doesn't suit me.
I am good at 'not doing anything'.
If there was a prize for that, i would surely be the winner.
So much better today after such a hellish week. I slept so peacefully last night. I didn't wake up once until my alarm clock went off on my phone this morning. (I'm currently trying to fix my sleep schedule.) Then my kitty came in and gave me a "good morning" meow and nudged my face. ^_^ Such a sweetheart.
It's supposed to be a warm, sunny day today too and I have things to do. I actually feel really motivated this morning. 🙂
I feel great. I really needed holidays. I thank god (or whatever) for having the ability to not give a crap about the unfinished "urgent" things I left behind at work.
After a long night spent with anxiety, I went for a dawn walk along the creek trail. There are so many things to lose, and that early morning crimson light on the upper branches of gums trees , with birds calling, and flying about in the canopies, it not something to be taken for granted.
I feel great. I really needed holidays. I thank god (or whatever) for having the ability to not give a crap about the unfinished "urgent" things I left behind at work.
I am disappointed in myself... I used to do yoga everyday and then fell out of the routine... after a couple months I tried to get back into it but I hurt my back and it is spasming 🙁 Wish I had kept it up. Now it will be a long slow climb back.
Feeling pretty "out of order". I can see how unorganised my life is. I always aim at being more punctual, organised, do the things that are needed, but I never succeed. I look at people who stick to their routine, achieve things and are proud of themselves. I wonder what makes them so motivated.
I can be more punctual and get my work done, if I had a healthy environment around me. Possibly someone in IRL to talk to and someone with whom to share my thoughts.
If i had those things i needed. It sounds pathetic complaining attitude but seriously many things just sucks.
Ugh my parents are so negative about everything. Its really irritating, I probably got my low self esteem and negative way of looking at the world from them.
^ Is that a good "Whoooooooo" or a bad "Whoooooooo" ? :idontknow:
Oh ha ha... that was me trying to type a rebel yell. A strange phenomenon that happens when American boys are around something fast enough to do something stupid in 🙂
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