How are you feeling?

[Srijita52]

Oh, that's a conundrum. Would being alone be better than hanging out with people you don't like? If the answer is yes, then these people aren't for you. I do hope you find some nicer, more compatible people!

Would it be though? I'm perfectly happy being by myself most of the time, but all the time? I'm not sure if I'll be okay with that. Also if I'm by myself it means I'm not out there wih people facing my fears or practicing social skills. Being with these people is frustrating but anxiety and being socially awkward is frustrating too. I don't want to put off working on these issues any longer, but being around these people make me sad. I hope so too, someday maybe.

 

[MikeyC]

Would it be though? I'm perfectly happy being by myself most of the time, but all the time? I'm not sure if I'll be okay with that. Also if I'm by myself it means I'm not out there wih people facing my fears or practicing social skills. Being with these people is frustrating but anxiety and being socially awkward is frustrating too. I don't want to put off working on these issues any longer, but being around these people make me sad. I hope so too, someday maybe.

I understand. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Whatever happens with these people, make the most of it, however way you can.

 

[Srijita52]

I understand. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Whatever happens with these people, make the most of it, however way you can.

Yeah, I guess I'll try and find if there's a middle ground.

 

[Steiner]

Feel sick.

 

[singing-love]

Feel like a monster, hurting the one person i've always been there for.

 

[Zaki]

What's wrong?

Hey, what's wrong, Zaki?

Thanks for asking. That's just how I generally feel from day to day. It's like nothing invigorates me anymore. I can't remember the last time I was truly, genuinely happy. I'm just here, hanging around for NO reason at all, and I feel like I don't mean anything to anyone. Sorry if I sound like a whiny little kid, but many people, even my relatives, have been really insensitive towards me when I've opened up to them about things that bother me. It's difficult to feel secure enough around people to be vulnerable with them when you're used to hearing "toughen up", "stop acting like a baby", and "you're too sensitive" when you express any sadness. And people wonder why I seem so numb, so distant. It's how I cope. Otherwise I'd be a sobbing, sniveling mess all the time. Surely no one would want me around then.

 

[Steiner]

Thanks for asking. That's just how I generally feel from day to day. It's like nothing invigorates me anymore. I can't remember the last time I was truly, genuinely happy. I'm just here, hanging around for NO reason at all, and I feel like I don't mean anything to anyone. Sorry if I sound like a whiny little kid, but many people, even my relatives, have been really insensitive towards me when I've opened up to them about things that bother me. It's difficult to feel secure enough around people to be vulnerable with them when you're used to hearing "toughen up", "stop acting like a baby", and "you're too sensitive" when you express any sadness. And people wonder why I seem so numb, so distant. It's how I cope. Otherwise I'd be a sobbing, sniveling mess all the time. Surely no one would want me around then.

:: I understand these feelings but I am not sure how to help.

 

[Zaki]

:: I understand these feelings but I am not sure how to help.

That's okay. It's cool, SteinerOfThule.
It's nice just to put the feelings into words.

 

[Nanita]

Re: dead

I feel pretty hopeless right now, just about everything in life I guess. I want to find interest in something, find a purpose, or at least create some meaningful goals. I’m stumbling through life absolutely clueless and I feel I have no purpose or meaning to exist. It’s really dragging me down that I have made about no progress whatsoever in getting over my abundance of mental and other issues. My life has been stagnant for quite some time, and I’m beginning to think none of this is ever going to change. What is the point of being alive when you feel this way? I am so lazy, dull, and useless right now. Just breathing and waking up often feels like they take mountains of effort to accomplish.

I don’t have much to look forward to on a day to day basis. I have no life, no friends, no job, no goals, and no hope, so naturally I feel that makes me pretty much useless. It’s like I am basically a dead person already. I never do anything, I never communicate with people much, and I hardly ever even step foot outside. I really don’t want to feel this way, it’s such a suffocating feeling. I feel quite selfish posting this, but I feel absolutely horrible right now. I wish I could find passion and meaning in something. I need change desperately, but I don't even know where to begin with that. All I can do is just sigh and panic all the time. The future is bleak, the future is really really bleak…

I know too well how this feels like, cause I've been feeling this way for most of my adult life. The lack of meaning and purpose.
Maybe I will never ever have the feeling of purpose? But I found out I must do what I like to do, that's my lifesaver.
Maybe you can start doing the things you do enjoy or the things you are good at? Maybe you have to force yourself a little in the beginning. Do things you like, and more things will come into your life, and very possibly people too, if you make yourself available for communicating.

 

[Steiner]

That's okay. It's cool, SteinerOfThule.
It's nice just to put the feelings into words.

Oh I see. Yes it is.

 

[MikeyC]

Thanks for asking. That's just how I generally feel from day to day. It's like nothing invigorates me anymore. I can't remember the last time I was truly, genuinely happy. I'm just here, hanging around for NO reason at all, and I feel like I don't mean anything to anyone. Sorry if I sound like a whiny little kid, but many people, even my relatives, have been really insensitive towards me when I've opened up to them about things that bother me. It's difficult to feel secure enough around people to be vulnerable with them when you're used to hearing "toughen up", "stop acting like a baby", and "you're too sensitive" when you express any sadness. And people wonder why I seem so numb, so distant. It's how I cope. Otherwise I'd be a sobbing, sniveling mess all the time. Surely no one would want me around then.

I'm sorry you feel this way, Zaki. I don't know what to say. These extreme feelings do pass, so hopefully there'll be a point when you are on the upswing and ready to kick butt again.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Sad.

I may have to shoot a crippled deer in the head in a couple of hours.

:sad:

 

[dottie]

@nate That would be so difficult. Why in a couple of hours?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

It got its legs caught in the fence trying to jump over it. It was hanging upside for who knows how long--could have been all night. If I'm very lucky, it might recover after a while with proper circulation returning and be able to run away on its own. This is unlikely though.

 

[jaim38]

I feel kinda horrible today. I went to the post office with my mom to pick up a parcel for my brother (I know, he's avoidant too). After waiting in line for what seemed like over 5 minutes, it was finally my turn. I spoke to the attendant who was really nice but my voice was so quiet!!! I'm loud at home, but when I get outside I become a pipsqueak! My voice also sounded flat without any changes in intonation - like a robot! The interaction was easy until right at the end when she apologized for having me wait so long. I wanted to respond with something nice, but all I said was "that's ok" in a very quiet voice that she probably didn't hear! Plus, I sounded so dead pan like there was no energy to my words. I also didn't smile if at all.

In short, I feel so let down. I thought I could do better this time around. I feel horrible I couldn't match the energy of other people. I met vibrant people who are so energetic (think Energizer Bunny) but I couldn't reach their level, so I think I didn't do them justice.

Despite the negatives, I'm proud of myself for going out. My body language didn't show any signs of anxiety, I hope, but it was a little stiff. It was a bit awkward standing in line and I didn't know where to place my arms or where to look, but I stuck it out. Good job to myself! :thumbup:

 

[PerseverareJasmine]

I feel kinda horrible today. I went to the post office with my mom to pick up a parcel for my brother (I know, he's avoidant too). After waiting in line for what seemed like over 5 minutes, it was finally my turn. I spoke to the attendant who was really nice but my voice was so quiet!!! I'm loud at home, but when I get outside I become a pipsqueak! My voice also sounded flat without any changes in intonation - like a robot! The interaction was easy until right at the end when she apologized for having me wait so long. I wanted to respond with something nice, but all I said was "that's ok" in a very quiet voice that she probably didn't hear! Plus, I sounded so dead pan like there was no energy to my words. I also didn't smile if at all.

In short, I feel so let down. I thought I could do better this time around. I feel horrible I couldn't match the energy of other people. I met vibrant people who are so energetic (think Energizer Bunny) but I couldn't reach their level, so I think I didn't do them justice.

Despite the negatives, I'm proud of myself for going out. My body language didn't show any signs of anxiety, I hope, but it was a little stiff. It was a bit awkward standing in line and I didn't know where to place my arms or where to look, but I stuck it out. Good job to myself! :thumbup:

I get like that too. I can be outgoing at times when I'm at home, but when I leave the house its like I clam up. I'm also in the same boat on you feeling like you have a flat voice. At my job, well I guess I should say my ex-job now because I recently quit to take college classes online, I worked in a collections agency where I had to communicate with customers over the phone regarding their car payments, and I often got customers who would ask me "Am I talking to a robot?" or they would complain that they wanted to speak to a supervisor or another agent because they thought I was too robotic and seemed detached, even though I was just doing my job. Not a good feeling. I guess the best we can do in situations like that is just push through them, and you're right, good job for doing that .

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel kinda horrible today. I went to the post office with my mom to pick up a parcel for my brother (I know, he's avoidant too). After waiting in line for what seemed like over 5 minutes, it was finally my turn. I spoke to the attendant who was really nice but my voice was so quiet!!! I'm loud at home, but when I get outside I become a pipsqueak! My voice also sounded flat without any changes in intonation - like a robot! The interaction was easy until right at the end when she apologized for having me wait so long. I wanted to respond with something nice, but all I said was "that's ok" in a very quiet voice that she probably didn't hear! Plus, I sounded so dead pan like there was no energy to my words. I also didn't smile if at all.

In short, I feel so let down. I thought I could do better this time around. I feel horrible I couldn't match the energy of other people. I met vibrant people who are so energetic (think Energizer Bunny) but I couldn't reach their level, so I think I didn't do them justice.

Despite the negatives, I'm proud of myself for going out. My body language didn't show any signs of anxiety, I hope, but it was a little stiff. It was a bit awkward standing in line and I didn't know where to place my arms or where to look, but I stuck it out. Good job to myself!

Yep! Ah can relate. Am exactly the same, at home, reasonably loud. Well, shoutin' all the time would seem weird, won't it? But ah digress... Aye, whenever am ootside, I tend tae be aw quiet, low n' deadpan. Oh, and mumbling. But, good on ya fur goin' outside and not huvin' any visible sign of being anxious. Ah wish ah could dae that...

(Note tae self: Stop writin' in yur native Scottish dialect aw the time, ye started tae sound like a right knob) :ironicsmile:

Ah've been feelin' quite depressed, lately. :sad:

Ah don't know if that's because of the fact ma birthday is loomin' on the horizon - f**k know why or whit it's daein' there. :sarcastic: Or people around huv just be irritatin' me tae the point of an argument. Or mibbe summit else is botherin' me. :idontknow:

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Hateful. .

 

[Graeme1988]

Hateful. .

How, whit's wrong?

 

[Silatuyok]

It got its legs caught in the fence trying to jump over it. It was hanging upside for who knows how long--could have been all night. If I'm very lucky, it might recover after a while with proper circulation returning and be able to run away on its own. This is unlikely though.

I hope for the best, Nate. With deer, though, capture myopathy is a very really possibility. Even if it wasn't visibly injured, the very stress of the ordeal could have been a fatal blow. I stand by your decision, whatever it happens to be.