How are you feeling?

[Phoenixx]

Hahahah, I know, I think it's funny when they say that! Ohhhh. Get your eyebrow done! That was my first piercing (besides my ears) Getting your ears done hurt wayyyy more tho. Idk, I love them, esp dermals. I miss my clavicles but surface piercings are a bitch since they can reject easily.

I agree with you on tattoos. I get bored easily & cant commit to anything lol. But, I have a tattoo in rememberence of my grandmom. Its three purple orchids with her initials ( 3-stands for my brothers & I, purple her birthstone color & that was her favorie flower) & I have another which is I regret & needs to be removed!

^ Yeah I've been really hesitant on getting my second piercings, only because when I got my first ones (when I was 12) I got an infection in both ears right away and it lasted two weeks. D: That was painful. What's worse? The infection came right back another two weeks later, but thankfully only stuck around a week. Still though, it hurt.... Although as much as I've been through physically within the 7 years, I think my pain tolerance now is a lot higher than it was. :: I just need to buck up and get it done already.

Ah, that's sweet I understand why you would get that tattoo. That's also something I'm afraid of, regretting the tattoo in the first place. So, no tattoos for me. ::

Edit: Just thought I'd clarify that I mean between dental work and health problems, that's why my pain tolerance is probably higher. Not because of abuse or anything, heh.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

 

[dottie]

i'm sorry to hear this, solitudes_grace.

 

[coyote]

...It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

i'm so sorry for you and your family

 

[Nathália]

I'm so very sorry to hear that Solitudes_Grace.

 

[Phoenixx]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

^ Oh no, I am so so sorry to hear that, Solitudes. ::

 

[Foxface]

Tired, going to bed.

My foot is sore, becuase I picked a blister, I got from whereing loose shoes. I went hiking in the woods earlier.

I feel good, becuase I was nude all day, went swimming a couple of times, even during the day, read my book when I got out of the pool and had a nice shower after.

 

[Hellhound]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

That's terrible... I'm sorry.

 

[Invisibleman]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

Thats f**ked. Im sorry to hear that.

 

[JuiceB]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[shakethelight]

@Solitudes_Grace: You and your family have my deepest condolences. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

I'm at a loss for words. Somehow, "I'm sorry" doesn't feel "appropriate" or "right" for this. But it's all I can think of::. That's truly a sad event that I wish you didn't have to go through.

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

Thank you all for your kind words and condolences.

 

[Hellhound]

Kind of worried. I'll get over it.

 

[Starry]

I'm feeling a lot of things: sad, frustrated, angry. My cousin hung himself last night. This is the second suicide I've dealt with in my immediate family. An uncle of mine shot himself about six or seven years ago. I've seen people on this forum say they are thinking or have thought about suicide. I just want to say to all of these people that whenever someone commits suicide, it hurts for all of the people who are left behind. It hurts a lot. I wasn't super close to either my cousin or my uncle. I only saw each of them a few times a year. It still hurts though, and it hurts even more for my family members who were close to them.

That is so terrible, I am so sorry! And what you added about your thoughts is so true.

 

[Lea]

It seems to me someone on here hates me but they are too afraid to say directly what they think.

 

[Lea]

I have never done anyone any wrong, I don´t steal, lie, betray people, I borrow them money or help them if they ask me etc. I even give my father small presents for birthday regardless how he treats me. But I don´t let anyone **** on my head either. I am not a doormat and don´t want to be treated under my dignity. If still God decides to send me to hell because of the way I am, for being angry if someone treats me badly, so be it. If being saint means being a robot without emotions, I don´t care being one. Bye.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ignored, but I guess I'm use to feeling that way. My mother, at times, doesn't seem to care about me that much, anyway. Everytime I try to have a conversation with her, I just a get a tone of disinterest from her. Gee, it's little wonder I don't talk much. ::

And we can't really talk about our underlying issues. The closest we've gotten to that, recently, is my mum asking:

"Do you think there's a link between how I am and the way you turned out?".

My response to that question being: "Well I don't think it's a coincidence that we both have the same s**tty, negative outlook on things!".

And we left it at that, because pushing the issue would have led to the realisation she f**ked up twice when she was raising me.

Firstly, the emotionally neglect towards me at age 5. Then the bitter, negative, man-hating comments regarding relationships 10 years later, when I was 15. Yeah, stuff like that really messes with yer confidence & ability to trust people. Also makes ye quite a self-loathing person (my personal journal is evidence of that). Sorry... just had to vent.

 

[Kat]

that is so sad Solitudes_Grace;640555::

and Graemee your situation sounds like hell I’m not sure if you have to live with her but I would be trying to get out of there if it at all possible. Where I live people with disabilities can have in home supportive services there’s got to be other options. You two just don’t get along sometimes there’s no solution to that but I think there’s potential for independent living I think I would be opting with that, personally.

 

[Graeme1988]

that is so sad Solitudes_Grace;640555::

and Graemee your situation sounds like hell I’m not sure if you have to live with her but I would be trying to get out of there if it at all possible. Where I live people with disabilities can have in home supportive services there’s got to be other options. You two just don’t get along sometimes there’s no solution to that but I think there’s potential for independent living I think I would be opting with that, personally.

Yeah, my mum and I live together. Obviously, don't get along, or as well as we should. We don't really talk about our problems, openly, because it's "too depressing". Yer f**kin' right, it is! So much, for trying to resolve our issues after my father died.

I personally think my mum feel too guilty to admit she f**ked up when it came to raising me! Better tae think I "turned out awright" - Really?! - like ma older sisters, than face the upsetting reality of the matter, I guess. ::

Sorry if I'm being a right downer, but this has been on ma mind, lately. I really should open up about my unresolved issues with my therapist, but feel too scared of her judgement. Besides, I don't think CBT can address the issues I have with my mother. maybe I'm being cynical?

Anyway... I would opt for independent living if I felt I'd be able to cope on ma own... but doubt I can, really. I probably get in home support, given the severity of my cerebral palsy. But it's just having to go through all the bureaucracy and assesments. And fact that nowadays, disabled people must cheat the system to get what they want really bothers me because I'm against that, but feel I don't really have a choice.