When you're 60, what will you regret?

[panicsurvivor]

So many mistakes made in arrogance. So many drugs in place of real things. SSSSOOOOO many people I have hurt. So many hearts I have broke. So many things left undone and unsaid. So much wasted time I will never get back. So many painful things caused by me.::::::::

 

[JamesSmith]

Surprisingly enough, I don't know if I'll regret anything. I realize that I was born with a terrible anxiety disorder and for me to make it to 60 would be quite an accomplishment. Sure, my life will be lonelier than a lot of other people's, but it's tough for me to regret anything I do because whatever I do, there is usually a reason for it.

 

[Sial Axetder]

That ****ing mug!

Honestly, working on it so hopefully not much.

 

[Liam17]

i'll be dead before then

Due to drugs and alcohol.

It's amazing how much drugs you get offered being in a rock band, resisted so far, but i'll crack one day.

Lifes crap.

 

[Kiwong]

Hell yeah, I won't be regretting anything at 60, that's too young to be one's deathbed.

I think I will say, you were human, there's no shame in that.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Gee 60 isn't that old.. But for the question, i'll probably regret not falling in love and maintaining a strong relationship. Along with the fullfilling things that could have happend but instead, visions of how i destroyed opportunities and understanding they don't exist anymore. :/

 

[Sea Bass]

Dude, wow. That is some really negative thinking. Try to think of stuff to look forward to. ::

 

[BlackPuma]

Oh, I want to add to my last post here that my initial plan is not to die.. ever.. at all. Even though that plan has an extremely low chance of succeeding, it'll keep me rolling as long, and fulfilled, as possible. :3

 

[NGP]

that i did not have the guts to overcome my fear and take the risks i wanted to take. I am only 21 but even looking back on my childhood, if only i had the guts and was not so afraid of my shadow i would definitely have had a different life today. I might have been in a much better position or much worse, but at least i would have known i did everything i wanted to, and took the risk. I would have been freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee::::::!!!

 

[Confuseddd]

Great post, really got me thinking about what I would regret if I did not do it.

Well the thoughts that entered my mind were:
1. I would regret not trying to take my MMA career more seriously

2. I would regret not having a kid

3. I would regret not going to college

4. I would regret not taking more chances in my daily life

 

[jaypee06]

i'll probably try and convince myself that the decisions i made at the time were the best i could possibly make given the circumstances and knowledge i had then

but i know i'll still feel regretful

 

[Minty]

Nothing because regret is pointless.

Soooo you've wasted most of your life by not doing what you wanted to do and now you're going to waste what's left in regret?

Doesn't make sense.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Gosh and I was hoping to live past 60 D:

But anyway, I would have a lot of regrets:
- Being so anxious/stressed out all the time, usually over the slightest things
- Not having been able to lead a "normal" life - in other words, one with human contact
- Not being able to enjoy life as it should be
- Taking my loved ones forgranted and pushing them away so I could avoid any situations that would further provoke my anxiety
- Being remembered simply as that "weird uptight girl with people issues"
- Dying in vain with no one by my bed side because the few people I love are older than me and would have already passed away at that age, and anyone else who knew me wouldn't care and would be carrying on with their lives, having a good time and being happy - something I was never able to accomplish

 

[EasySkanking]

Not having accomplish the goals that I want to accomplish in life.... that would just kill me.

 

[Luke1993]

I don't think I would regret anything. Unless I still haven't had a relationship or friendship with someone by that time. But I'm confident I will find both of those things during my life.

 

[worrywort]

Dude, wow. That is some really negative thinking. Try to think of stuff to look forward to. ::

sorry, I think I worded my opening post a little badly, I didn't mean to sound negative. I meant this thread to be motivational. I usually find, imagining myself at the end of my life, looking back, and thinking of the kind of life I'd have liked to have lived and the kind of regrets I hope not to have, I usually find this really motivating. It inspires me to make the changes today that will prevent the regrets I fear later.

Plus I was also hoping to hear from some people who never regret anything, and maybe learn their secret!

i'll probably try and convince myself that the decisions i made at the time were the best i could possibly make given the circumstances and knowledge i had then
but i know i'll still feel regretful

yea this is exactly my current attitude toward regret. I always try to tell myself that in every situation I always try my best and make the decisions that I think are the best at the time, so I really shouldn't regret anything....and yet, in my heart, I just can't seem to shake the feeling. Did I really try my best? Could I have done more? Was I brave enough? I feel like I have certain expectations on my life, a certain standard of living that I feel I should uphold, and if I fall too far below the mark I just think I'd find the regret so hard to bear, knowing I could've done so much better with my life.

Nothing because regret is pointless.
Soooo you've wasted most of your life by not doing what you wanted to do and now you're going to waste what's left in regret?
Doesn't make sense.

hmm...yea, maybe you're right....I've always been in awe of people who are able to have no regrets about anything.....it does seem like a pointless exercise.....I just have trouble convincing myself of this....it always feels dishonest to me....like if I've done something wrong, I feel like I ought to feel regret, so that I can learn from my mistakes....you know?....like, what if Hitler lived his life with no regrets?! I think I'd have trouble with that. I feel as though someone like Hitler ought to feel regret.

Maybe there are some fine distinctions in definitions to be made, cause I definitely don't think it's good to wallow in self-pity over past mistakes. That won't get you anywhere. But I kind of feel like a certain degree of remorse can be a healthy thing in motivating you not to make the same mistakes again.

 

[Kamen]

The answer is actually quite simple: If your mindset is that there is / there should be something to regret and that this is significant, you'll find it or even invent it. Those who regret and beat themselves up are those who look into the past and/or worry about the future way too much to the point of abandoning the present moment, the now, which is in fact all they have, so they should simply witness it. The past is in the memory, the future is in the imagination. I call this "getting too involved with the game". However, if your mindset is that you are just passing by, playing and gaining experience, and that after your physical body (which is not the real you!) dissolves you'll eventually come to another experience, you'll hardly find anything to regret. You'll have the eternity and this particular life is just a tiny fragment of it - one of your roles. If this is true, why worry? On the other hand, if this is false, then there is no point to worry, because when you are dead, nothing matters - when there is no you, there is no world. By the way, your body is constantly dying and coming to life again. Your cells die and new ones come. Where is the you from 10 years ago? It's dead. It's all about transition. And all these elaborations vanish with the state of ultimate existence - when one realizes that one is pure awareness beyond the body-consiousness. What and where is "I"? It's not our body and we cannot point it - we even say "my head, my heart, my hand, my thoughts", which are not "I".

You might like to read this: http://www.enlightened-spirituality.org/Nisargadatta_Maharaj.html

and eventually to watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoYIh-MdE4U&feature=related (find the remaining parts in YouTube)

Funny, it's only now that modern science barely scratches the surface of what spiritual teachers and philosophers know for centuries.

 

[worrywort]

The answer is actually quite simple: If your mindset is that there is / there should be something to regret and that this is significant, you'll find it or even invent it. Those who regret and beat themselves up are those who look into the past and/or worry about the future way too much to the point of abandoning the present moment, the now, which is in fact all they have, so they should simply witness it. The past is in the memory, the future is in the imagination. I call this "getting too involved with the game". However, if your mindset is that you are just passing by, playing and gaining experience, and that after your physical body (which is not the real you!) dissolves you'll eventually come to another experience, you'll hardly find anything to regret. You'll have the eternity and this particular life is just a tiny fragment of it - one of your roles. If this is true, why worry? On the other hand, if this is false, then there is no point to worry, because when you are dead, nothing matters - when there is no you, there is no world. By the way, your body is constantly dying and coming to life again. Your cells die and new ones come. Where is the you from 10 years ago? It's dead. It's all about transition. And all these elaborations vanish with the state of ultimate existence - when one realizes that one is pure awareness beyond the body-consiousness. What and where is "I"? It's not our body and we cannot point it - we even say "my head, my heart, my hand, my thoughts", which are not "I".

Hey Kamen! very articulately put! I think I'll have to chew on this for a while.

By the way, your body is constantly dying and coming to life again. Your cells die and new ones come. Where is the you from 10 years ago? It's dead.

I love this! What a comforting thought!

 

[Lea]

The answer is actually quite simple: If your mindset is that there is / there should be something to regret and that this is significant, you'll find it or even invent it. Those who regret and beat themselves up are those who look into the past and/or worry about the future way too much to the point of abandoning the present moment, the now, which is in fact all they have, so they should simply witness it. The past is in the memory, the future is in the imagination. I call this "getting too involved with the game". However, if your mindset is that you are just passing by, playing and gaining experience, and that after your physical body (which is not the real you!) dissolves you'll eventually come to another experience, you'll hardly find anything to regret. You'll have the eternity and this particular life is just a tiny fragment of it - one of your roles. If this is true, why worry? On the other hand, if this is false, then there is no point to worry, because when you are dead, nothing matters - when there is no you, there is no world. By the way, your body is constantly dying and coming to life again. Your cells die and new ones come. Where is the you from 10 years ago? It's dead. It's all about transition. And all these elaborations vanish with the state of ultimate existence - when one realizes that one is pure awareness beyond the body-consiousness. What and where is "I"? It's not our body and we cannot point it - we even say "my head, my heart, my hand, my thoughts", which are not "I".


Funny, it's only now that modern science barely scratches the surface of what spiritual teachers and philosophers know for centuries.

Kamen is back, welcome! I agree with the post, we as humans are not finished products, we're always changing and evolving (just like everything else in universe). So what is "me"? A baby yesterday, old man/woman tomorrow, then we're not even here. We die and are reborn with every second, this happens continually so it's not even recognizable. Nothing of the changeable cannot be the real us, so it must be some essence in it which doesn't change. I think human bodies and lives are not important as the end in itself, we're here only to contribute to and work at something bigger than that... What it is, I don't know yet because I haven't been there, but it seems to me we live only to act as carriers of something. The perishable will perish, only the real remains.

 

[AGR]

I think the only thing I will regret is dropping out of school when I was
16,there is still time for me to finish my studies and maybe work with something I will like,even if its teaching kids or teaching English/Japanese in my native country I will probably like, no teenagers though ,this could be a lesson about how life works,what is like to be on the place I am now but if I dont finish, it will just be a failure.