Quite a long tale. I'll keep it short. I stopped the fight. Yes, sort of ballsey in my department (this is very rare) and therefore that behaviour in accordance to the policy makes me suspicious and part of it. 🙄 Mad jokes.
thanks Mikey - it's not something i think about very often
i feel better having worked for many years as a 911 Dispatcher
helping suicidal callers get the assistance they need to save their lives
although there's a few of those incidents that haunt me as well
You've had some high-pressure jobs, haven't you? I wouldn't have the patience and level-headedness to be a dispatcher - I work at the Police station and have seen a few of those calls - because it takes a special person to do something like that. I can understand some of those things will haunt you, but you can take solace in the fact that you've done all you could and saved a lot of lives in the process.
A thankless job needs to be acknowledged sometimes.
Tomorrow is a public holiday in Australia, and I will have a rare day off work. Tonight my friend invited me out to town for what I presume is drinks and chatting with a bunch of people. I will be going to that in a few hours.
I have been severely depressed the last 3 days, and I don't particularly want to go. I think I'm going to sit there and be silent for a lot of the night, but I need to get out of the house. I might even surprise myself and have a good time. I hope so, anyway.
I am destroying my body right now and I can't seem to stop the behavior that is doing it. I think, that is what they call an addiction? Or maybe it isn't an addiction. Maybe it isn't a problem and I am only lying to myself to make it seem like it is one, so I don't have to stop. Maybe I am creating the problem on purpose so it seems like I have a problem? Like, maybe I could actually stop, maybe I am just being weak, maybe I am just being stupid. I don't know.
My chest hurts, bad. I know/think I know it is because of the absolute obscene amount of food I have been eating lately. My body doesn't know what to do with it all. My body is going into shock or something.
What's weird is last night I had dream after dream that I was doing nothing but eating. It was, so weird. I'd wake up in a panic and then realize I was only dreaming. Then I would fall back asleep and I would have the same dream of constantly eating. Again, I'd wake up and realize I was only dreaming but slightly afraid I had gotten up and done some "sleep eating" which seems to be a thing now. I am pretty sure none of that happened, I am pretty sure they were all dreams.
But my insides hurt. My chest hurts. This is super embarrassing to post about. But I have to vent about it somewhere.
Tomorrow is a public holiday in Australia, and I will have a rare day off work. Tonight my friend invited me out to town for what I presume is drinks and chatting with a bunch of people. I will be going to that in a few hours.
I have been severely depressed the last 3 days, and I don't particularly want to go. I think I'm going to sit there and be silent for a lot of the night, but I need to get out of the house. I might even surprise myself and have a good time. I hope so, anyway.
Sorry to hear that Mikey C. Hope the night out goes alright.
I wish I could run away from life and never look back. Only thing is, I have nowhere to go, noone to go with, nothing clear to look forward to, no perspective. I'm too afraid to take risks and do it all by myself, i have no experience in this. Things are so bad at home. I have no idea what to do. I'm so fvcking sick of everything.
I wish I could run away from life and never look back. Only thing is, I have nowhere to go, noone to go with, nothing clear to look forward to, no perspective. I'm too afraid to take risks and do it all by myself, i have no experience in this. Things are so bad at home. I have no idea what to do. I'm so fvcking sick of everything.
I'm sorry to hear 🙁 I feel the same though, I can't wait to get away from here. I wish I could leave now and start all over somewhere far away where noone knows me :/
I know..Feeling Nothing 🙁 I wish I could detach myself from the situation, but I have to deal with everything that's happening, and i feel like someone's stomping over my head again and again. My dad is trying to hurt my mom through me, by hurting me, it's ****ing up my life. My mom does nothing but victimize herself, blame everyone but herself for everything that's happening and threatening with suicide and other things and driving me fvcking crazy. I'm suppose to study for exams but im too stressed with everything. I feel like screaming.
I need to find an efficient algorithm for dividing a rectangular grid into discrete, kinda-randomly shaped sections (tectonic plates, specifically). If any of the other computer science-y folks around here have any general idea on how to do that, I'd appreciate some input.
I know..Feeling Nothing 🙁 I wish I could detach myself from the situation, but I have to deal with everything that's happening, and i feel like someone's stomping over my head again and again. My dad is trying to hurt my mom through me, by hurting me, it's ****ing up my life. My mom does nothing but victimize herself, blame everyone but herself for everything that's happening and threatening with suicide and other things and driving me fvcking crazy. I'm suppose to study for exams but im too stressed with everything. I feel like screaming.
I wish I wasn't so.... Introvert. I just feel like I'm in my head too much and it bothers me because my quietness prevents me from making social connections in the world. Aw well, I guess I just got to learn to accept my personality for what it is.
#13781
Report
