Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[MrJones]

I know..Feeling Nothing I wish I could detach myself from the situation, but I have to deal with everything that's happening, and i feel like someone's stomping over my head again and again. My dad is trying to hurt my mom through me, by hurting me, it's ****ing up my life. My mom does nothing but victimize herself, blame everyone but herself for everything that's happening and threatening with suicide and other things and driving me fvcking crazy. I'm suppose to study for exams but im too stressed with everything. I feel like screaming.

That's awful vamp :: Hang in there *hugs*
If you need to talk you know you can count on me, my friend.

 

[Vampayah88]

Thank u Jazzy

 

[MrJones]

somehow i still feel responsible

like i failed to prevent it somehow

I usually feel very guilty for things I couldn't do anything about. Sometimes it was just even silly and didn't make sense. Some people thought I was crazy or something because it had nothing to do with me. But I just did, and it was awful.

Now it's not so bad, I know there are things I can do and some others that I can't. I try my best in every situation and even if sometimes I could have done better I know I have my limits just like everyone else.


Your situation was awful and I'm really sorry. The thing is, you saved a lot of lives yourself. You are a good man and you tried to do the right thing. Sometimes we just have to forgive ourselves even if we find it impossible at some point.

I admire you.

 

[MrJones]

I am destroying my body right now and I can't seem to stop the behavior that is doing it. I think, that is what they call an addiction? Or maybe it isn't an addiction. Maybe it isn't a problem and I am only lying to myself to make it seem like it is one, so I don't have to stop. Maybe I am creating the problem on purpose so it seems like I have a problem? Like, maybe I could actually stop, maybe I am just being weak, maybe I am just being stupid. I don't know.

My chest hurts, bad. I know/think I know it is because of the absolute obscene amount of food I have been eating lately. My body doesn't know what to do with it all. My body is going into shock or something.

What's weird is last night I had dream after dream that I was doing nothing but eating. It was, so weird. I'd wake up in a panic and then realize I was only dreaming. Then I would fall back asleep and I would have the same dream of constantly eating. Again, I'd wake up and realize I was only dreaming but slightly afraid I had gotten up and done some "sleep eating" which seems to be a thing now. I am pretty sure none of that happened, I am pretty sure they were all dreams.

But my insides hurt. My chest hurts. This is super embarrassing to post about. But I have to vent about it somewhere.

That's awful Buzz *hugs*

I don't know what reasons you had to do that, but please take care of yourself.

I've been eating a lot, I think from depression or whatever. It just feels like sometimes it doesn't matter.

But anyway, we need to stay healthy. Binging is never good, anything in excess is never good.

Feel free to vent. I probably can't help with it, but if you need to talk, you know you can PM me anytime you want *hugs*

 

[this_portrait]

Went to the dentist today because I was worried about my gums. Nothing's wrong with them (except for some viral or autoimmune thing), but apparently not having been to the dentist in over 3 years is catching up to me. I got cavities and will need to have them treated, unless I want to have a root canal.

 

[Silatuyok]

1987, standing in line at the armory to turn in our weapons after the range

the guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder

he was from another unit - i'd never seen him before that i can remember

apparently, he'd pocketed a couple of live rounds at the rifle range

he was holding his M-16A2 in front of him with the barrel under his chin

he said to me, "check this out - here's something you won't see every day!"

then he pulled the trigger

he probably had no idea his head would explode the way it did

or that his actions would have a lasting effect on anyone but himself

My ex-bf was in the Marines and experienced a similar incident with the guy next to him at the rifle range. It's horrible, but there's nothing you can do. Ultimately they make up their own decision to pull the trigger.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

1987, standing in line at the armory to turn in our weapons after the range

the guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder

he was from another unit - i'd never seen him before that i can remember

apparently, he'd pocketed a couple of live rounds at the rifle range

he was holding his M-16A2 in front of him with the barrel under his chin

he said to me, "check this out - here's something you won't see every day!"

then he pulled the trigger

he probably had no idea his head would explode the way it did

or that his actions would have a lasting effect on anyone but himself

::

Having met someone a few years ago who went through a similar situation, I can imagine what a long-lasting traumatic effect it must have had on you. I can't believe that anyone would genuinely have no idea how something like that would affect the other people involved. Everyone has the right to end their own life if they choose to, but they have no right to drag other people into it.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I just scanned a bunch of photos and then deleted them all. I have searched my computer up and down, but I can't find a hint of them anywhere.

 

[Iluv]

How does one brush their teeth with a bottle of jack?
Sounds .... painful.

Lol I finish with 38-3 for COD while people are sitting at 10. Game and strategy.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

That's awful Buzz *hugs*

I don't know what reasons you had to do that, but please take care of yourself.

I've been eating a lot, I think from depression or whatever. It just feels like sometimes it doesn't matter.

But anyway, we need to stay healthy. Binging is never good, anything in excess is never good.

Feel free to vent. I probably can't help with it, but if you need to talk, you know you can PM me anytime you want *hugs*

I know that I need to stay healthy and that things in excess are never good. I know that this is bad for me and it is going to have terrible consequences. But, I can't stop and I don't care about myself enough to take care of myself... so right now it doesn't matter.

Thanks for the offer.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

 

[Gaucho]

NOOOOOOOo!! that was brutal. barcelona deserved the win imo. i only hope that if the final is chelsea-madrid, that chelsea wins. i fking hate madrid and more the fans.

 

[Gaucho]

They did pretty well considering they were playing with 10 since the 37th minute. They beat Benfica (the team I root for) on the Quarter finals, still, congratulations for going to the final!


Why? There are good and bad people everywhere, from any race, religion, sexual orientation...or even football club lol

hehe true, i knew someone was gonna answer about that. i was in rage and posted without thinking. of course i can't include everyone. i apologize, actually i have many Madrid fans who i know well and don't dislike them.

 

[Gaucho]

heh, it's understandable, it's all too fresh yet, I was pretty mad when Benfica lost against Chelsea too ::

the only thing i hope for is that Madrid does NOT win tomorrow, even less the final

so you are a benfica fan? or sporting lissabon?

 

[Gaucho]

I'm a benfica fan. I don't dislike sporting, even with so much rivalry going on (both are from lisbon and generally hate each other), hope they do well against bilbao.
The only Portuguese team I dislike is Porto

i lived in spain nearly all my life, so i root for athletic bilbao, but i wouldn't care much to be honest. the important match was today::

 

[Eristelle]

Went on a very long walk... Then job hunting. I hope I'll be useful for once...

 

[this_portrait]

Apparently a girl from my high school killed herself last night because she was bullied. This happened just a few weeks after a freshman at my current school committed suicide.

I was a bit taken aback when I heard about this girl, because it's the first time (that I know of) where a student from my high school took their own life.

It's all so depressing.

 

[MikeyC]

Apparently a girl from my high school killed herself last night because she was bullied. This happened just a few weeks after a freshman at my current school committed suicide.

I was a bit taken aback when I heard about this girl, because it's the first time (that I know of) where a student from my high school took their own life.

It's all so depressing.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Were you close to this girl?

 

[this_portrait]

I'm so sorry to hear that. Were you close to this girl?

I never knew her, but apparently a lot of people I do know were either friends with her or acquaintances. From the way people talk about her, she seemed like she had everything together on the outside.

 

[MikeyC]

I never knew her, but apparently a lot of people I do know were either friends with her or acquaintances. From the way people talk about her, she seemed like she had everything together on the outside.

I was chatting to a girl from high school some months ago who seemed to have everything together on the outside, but she has panic attacks and bullying at school effects her to this day. She said the same about me. It's amazing the appearances we keep up to hide our pain.

Your friend is another reason why school bullying needs to be stamped out. It's so detrimental to people's lives. I know it's basically ruined me.