GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Do you have online grocery shopping over there? That deliver your order to your door?
I have thought of getting this for my groceries, however there is a delivery fee and I am too embarrassed that my neighbors will think I am lazy not doing the shopping myself.
There is one supermarket in my town that offers online ordering, and I've used their service a couple of times in the past, but they don't deliver, so I still have to drive to the store to pick up my order. It's curbside service, which minimizes exposure, but right now I'm too banged up even for that.
The only delivery service I know about around here is one that pretty much only carries munchies for stoners, not proper groceries, and at prices only a stoner would pay. They'll bring stuff right to the door, but who's going to open it? Not me, that's for sure.
I truly miss the days when I could go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted without hours of preparation and the constant fear of humiliation. I miss the days when I could catch sight of my reflection in a mirror without feeling shame and disgust. This is no way for a middle-aged man to live, hiding away from life in a shitty apartment, dressed in second-hand rags, with barely a remnant of dignity or pride. I deserve better than this, I sometimes think, but maybe I don't. I've become less man than monster, and monsters don't get to have nice lives. Monsters get what's coming to them, the punishment they deserve, and so, perhaps, must I. Is that what this is all about? I've done some rotten things, it's true, but this penance seems extreme: loneliness and shame and cold soup spooned straight from the can because nothing else is left. Karma's an ugly, snaggletoothed bitch, and she's got me firmly by the scruff. I won't be leaving for a while.
