Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[springk]

I just got back from dinner with my best friend. I hadn't seen him in any real capacity for over a week, so it was good to catch up.

I have noticed that our friendship is skewed in his favour quite a lot. I suggested a restaurant because I hadn't been there in a while, but he didn't want to go there, so we didn't. We do a lot of things he likes, but not many things I enjoy. And so forth in that pattern.

I believe this has come from years and years of disrespecting myself and always being a doormat to him. I don't even believe he realises what he's doing, to be honest.

While I may be just now learning to respect myself and become a better person, I fear the damage has already been done with him.

I feel like a doormat..a rather unused doormat. No one(so called friends) ever asks my opinion.

I never volunteer myself. If they are deciding i would just agree to whatever they say.

Enough of me. Its great you have a best friend. Never had one.

It may be unconscious..may be he is accustomed to have his way as perhaps you never asserted yourself. Its just my thoughts.
But he is your best friend.He will see the change in you. Next time make sure he goes to your chosen restaurant

 

[BlackPuma]

I just got back from dinner with my best friend. I hadn't seen him in any real capacity for over a week, so it was good to catch up.

I have noticed that our friendship is skewed in his favour quite a lot. I suggested a restaurant because I hadn't been there in a while, but he didn't want to go there, so we didn't. We do a lot of things he likes, but not many things I enjoy. And so forth in that pattern.

I believe this has come from years and years of disrespecting myself and always being a doormat to him. I don't even believe he realises what he's doing, to be honest.

While I may be just now learning to respect myself and become a better person, I fear the damage has already been done with him.

Maybe it's something you can try and change over time. Bad habits can grow in over time, but so can positive ones.

The simplest thing would of course be to bring it up directly, but I realize not all friendships are eligible for open heart to hearts, so if that isn't an option you can always try to put up a little more resistance each time he tries to overrule you and your likes. Kind of ease him out his comfort zone, and into yours.

 

[laure15]

I have been feeling so inferior . Almost in everything. I never had much confidence. Now that every person i have known is doing something with thier life..i feel i just sit and do nothing. I want so much to change my situation.

My career is nothing. From the start i never knew what i wanted to do. Dont know why took up humanities, it would have been better to take something that could have given me some job or something in which i could use my creativity(if i have any) or some technical field.
These thoughts just torture me. I cannot bring back past years..cannot choose anymore. But my school mates ( with whom i went to school) doing great , having career..makes me feel ahhh.

I dont wanna end up like ..sucked in a job that i would hate.

I was like this for many years. My parents encouraged me to be a doctor so I went with it but somehow it didn't feel right so ended up changing majors frequently and therefore, wasting time in university. I somehow had the notion that being a doctor is the best career ever and anything short of that is just failure. I also didn't have enough confidence in myself and my classmates alienated me.

 

[Opaline]

After months of showering in the morning, I've taken one at night. Now I just have to find ways to make sure my hair isn't flat in the morning from sleeping on it.

Is your hair long enough to tie up? I always shower at night and I have pretty long hair. I tie it up after it's dried for about half an hour so that it's just damp, and when I wake up in the morning it's usually either curly or wavy Doesn't mean it would work for anyone, and I don't know if you'd even want curly hair, but... just a suggestion!

I just got back from dinner with my best friend. I hadn't seen him in any real capacity for over a week, so it was good to catch up.

I have noticed that our friendship is skewed in his favour quite a lot. I suggested a restaurant because I hadn't been there in a while, but he didn't want to go there, so we didn't. We do a lot of things he likes, but not many things I enjoy. And so forth in that pattern.

I believe this has come from years and years of disrespecting myself and always being a doormat to him. I don't even believe he realises what he's doing, to be honest.

While I may be just now learning to respect myself and become a better person, I fear the damage has already been done with him.

:/ I know what you mean, Mikey. In the past some of my "friends" would dominate conversations and make it all about them. In high school one of two of my "best friends" actually intimidated me. How is that a best friend? I don't know why I gave her that label.

If he doesn't respect you then I would dare to say he isn't quite your "best" friend. I think Puma gave good advice. Try to talk to him about or subtly change it, or maybe start looking for someone else you can start over with and make known from the start that you won't take someone walking all over you.

 

[coyote]

I don't even believe he realises what he's doing, to be honest.

i suspect this is true

people treat us the way we train them to

 

[this_portrait]

Is your hair long enough to tie up? I always shower at night and I have pretty long hair. I tie it up after it's dried for about half an hour so that it's just damp, and when I wake up in the morning it's usually either curly or wavy Doesn't mean it would work for anyone, and I don't know if you'd even want curly hair, but... just a suggestion!

I've been braiding it, but I kinda suck at it and it always comes partly undone. Damn stringy fine hair...

 

[MikeyC]

I feel like a doormat..a rather unused doormat. No one(so called friends) ever asks my opinion.

I never volunteer myself. If they are deciding i would just agree to whatever they say.

Enough of me. Its great you have a best friend. Never had one.

It may be unconscious..may be he is accustomed to have his way as perhaps you never asserted yourself. Its just my thoughts.
But he is your best friend.He will see the change in you. Next time make sure he goes to your chosen restaurant

Maybe it's something you can try and change over time. Bad habits can grow in over time, but so can positive ones.

The simplest thing would of course be to bring it up directly, but I realize not all friendships are eligible for open heart to hearts, so if that isn't an option you can always try to put up a little more resistance each time he tries to overrule you and your likes. Kind of ease him out his comfort zone, and into yours.

:/ I know what you mean, Mikey. In the past some of my "friends" would dominate conversations and make it all about them. In high school one of two of my "best friends" actually intimidated me. How is that a best friend? I don't know why I gave her that label.

If he doesn't respect you then I would dare to say he isn't quite your "best" friend. I think Puma gave good advice. Try to talk to him about or subtly change it, or maybe start looking for someone else you can start over with and make known from the start that you won't take someone walking all over you.

i suspect this is true

people treat us the way we train them to

Thank you all for your responses. Very much appreciated. I agree with what all of you have said. I have been trying to put up some more resistance with him but it's not easy after years and years of doing the exact opposite.

I agree with coyote in that he's treating me the way I've told him to. He just thinks it's normal when it shouldn't be. It's not his fault, really - it's just what I've told him to do.

I think it starts now; trying to change and make him change his patterns towards me. We'll see how it goes.

 

[jaim38]

I saw the clip with Katie Hopkins saying on Morning Today that she makes quick judgments according to people's first name. Of course, she got lambasted for this. While I don't agree with her, I do admire the fact that she's not afraid to speak her opinions in public even if many people will criticize her and label her as a She-Devil. I wish I had skin as thick as hers. No matter how many times she's been insulted, she's still not afraid to exercise her right to free speech. I don't know where this confidence or high self-esteem comes from, but I would love to have some of that.

 

[MikeyC]

I contacted Fiona last night, saying that while we don't talk as often these days, that I still support her studies, that she's still in my thoughts, and that I hoped her recent worries are behind her.

No reply.

Someone tell me why I keep bothering with her.

 

[hoddesdon]

I wonder who visited my profile recently. The number of visitors increased by one, but the visitors' list is unchanged. The person in question must use invisible mode. Is anyone going to confess?

 

[hidwell]

I contacted Fiona last night, saying that while we don't talk as often these days, that I still support her studies, that she's still in my thoughts, and that I hoped her recent worries are behind her.

No reply.

Someone tell me why I keep bothering with her.

I think your clinging on to hope that the time you have invested in Fiona wasn't wasted.

 

[MikeyC]

I think your clinging on to hope that the time you have invested in Fiona wasn't wasted.

Yeah, that could be it. ::

 

[Sial Axetder]

Yeah, that could be it. ::

It is also because you still care.
Until you grieve, you will continue to care and continue to want to fix what isn't possible.

It's tough. Wish Fiona well but try and stay away from contacting Fiona. Each day will be better.

 

[MikeyC]

It is also because you still care.
Until you grieve, you will continue to care and continue to want to fix what isn't possible.

It's tough. Wish Fiona well but try and stay away from contacting Fiona. Each day will be better.

Yeah, that's what I'm going to try and do. I won't contact her for a while. It's going to be hard when I want to, and I want to desperately have her talk to me, but I have to show myself some respect at the same time. Thank you.

 

[superfluouslyme]

Yeah, that's what I'm going to try and do. I won't contact her for a while. It's going to be hard when I want to, and I want to desperately have her talk to me, but I have to show myself some respect at the same time. Thank you.

Sounds like a good plan. It'll hurt, I'm sure, but you deserve that respect. Sorry it didn't go so well. :sad:

I'm going to be my g'ma's caretaker for part of the day today. I'm curious to see if my anxiety levels have dropped any from the last time I took care of her.

Also, I was lying (laying?) in bed last night thinking and I realized that, this October, my parents will have been divorced for 20 years. Kind of hard to wrap my mind around that number. It makes me feel old.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Whatever site I'm on, my phone keeps throwing ads at me about how to control my fleet costs. What am I, admiral freakin' Nimitz over here?

 

[BlackPuma]

Whatever site I'm on, my phone keeps throwing ads at me about how to control my fleet costs. What am I, admiral freakin' Nimitz over here?

For all you know you're a were-admiral.

Quick, have you found any mysterious medals or freakishly neatly folded stuff recently?.. Or several ships in the backyard perhaps?

 

[mikebird]

Crazy day yesterday

Usual session at my gym, where the whole layout & design of the bottom floor for muscle building has be rearranged and I always love it. Can take months to adapt to it.

I have a big failure communicating with anyone and feel guilty. I get a nod & wink from supervisor but don't reply. I respect 'em. Don't need help

A rare decision as I leave on my bike to go home, wasted and buzzing, saving time, I headed through town centre to supermarket to avoid traffic jams. No car at weekend, to keep it healthy and not overused. Even SA at the tyre pump machine cos I had a floppy bike tyre. I stopped using the machine cos it was broken and made my car tyres flat. Foot pump at home. Depends knowing what to say and not. Two cars in a queue waiting. I looked a fool fiddling about with bike and machine. Used to 4 car wheels in 30 seconds. I handed the nozzle to the waiters who couldn't be bothered. So I took it and was done in less than 10 seconds.

Heading home with minimal items in the rucksack - heavy, bringing my shoulders close to my handlebars. I'm light years ahead of public whether I'm on foot or riding, as they amble and sing with no destination in mind.

Weather doesn't matter, although I came home in a gibbering wreck (not) in sweat and relaxed in a first bath for 50 years

I rushed through all red lights, beating traffic when they try to chase, close to all people around malls and streets everywhere on a Saturday, shocking them to get out of the way and I never do touch 'em - a whisker away. This gives me physical power & stamina I wish you could see, letting out my deep frustration and don't have in the social way. The public are lazy, stupid, fat, and never do anything, but are happier than me.

Before writing, I remembered being told by a smiling woman "look after yourself, Mike!" I tried and tried to think who, where, when...

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

For all you know you're a were-admiral.

Quick, have you found any mysterious medals or freakishly neatly folded stuff recently?.. Or several ships in the backyard perhaps?

Now that you mention it, I did think it was odd finding a Buckley-class destroyer escort parked in the pond last week.

:thinking:

 

[Phoenixx]

My cat has been out for over 24 hours. He's done this before, but it always instantly worries me when I go out and call him and he doesn't come running or meowing back.

With my neighbors being loud the past few days, and the fact no one was even here for a bit last night, he probably hasn't bothered coming up to the house. He'll never come around when there's a lot of noise or no one's home.