How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Well, my mum's finally gave me the reason for her anxiety. It's because we're not spending as much my time together. Since everything related to my hobbies is upstairs.

Today, she reminded me of how, when I was younger, my mum and I would spend weekends binge-watching the VHS boxset of the Star Wars trilogy – I think I got it as a Christmas present in the late '90s – if we were bored and couldn't find anything to watch on the telly.

So, I've made the suggestion that: instead of getting rid that small computer desk I've still got sitting about upstairs; move it downstairs into the living room. That way we're not spending so much time apart for most of the day.

 

[Phoenixx]

Exhausted. It's been a long work week. Have already put in 46 hours and still have today to go. At least I get the holiday off, but I feel like I'll still have no time to rest.

 

[Graeme1988]

Burnt out. Pretty knackered and stressed with all that I've had to deal with lately. Mainly the worry over my mum's health. Granted, it's no just me worrying. But ah just wish my siblings wouldn't ask me how our mother doing, like asking how she seems. When I can only answer that based solely on my interaction with her every morning. Even then, that pretty late on, with me getting up around 10 o'clock and my mum usually get up 3 hours earlier than that. And I don't tend to pry beyond a couple of questions, since forcing my mother to talk, or elaborate on an answer she given, tends to just irritate her.

Does'nae exactly that I've had more than a few sleepless nights these past few months as a result of all that's gone on.

 

[SilentAndShy]

Mentally exhausted. Last few weeks, I've had to manage existing pressures (work, family life) and the new challenges (being involved in house renovation that's caused problems). Latter has shown how inadequate I am in dealing with trades people, I just can't digest what they say and lose concentration and I'm not strong enough to challenge them on what they might be doing. So this causes problems down the line. Why can't people just quote for a job, do it properly, get paid, then go?!

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Lost. Alone. Out of sync. Am I here again? Do I belong here/anywhere? I'm so tired and there's so much to do. When does it end?

 

[Sammie_Kay]

Lost. Alone. Out of sync. Am I here again? Do I belong here/anywhere? I'm so tired and there's so much to do. When does it end?

I know that feeling! Your not alone! Your here! welcome! I am not sure I belong anywhere myself.

 

[Sammie_Kay]

Mentally exhausted. Last few weeks, I've had to manage existing pressures (work, family life) and the new challenges (being involved in house renovation that's caused problems). Latter has shown how inadequate I am in dealing with trades people, I just can't digest what they say and lose concentration and I'm not strong enough to challenge them on what they might be doing. So this causes problems down the line. Why can't people just quote for a job, do it properly, get paid, then go?!

Sometimes I record or write down what i don't understand. I look it up later and go at my pace to try and understand it. I am pretty sure no one knows what they are doing and are just trying to fake it through the day. I hope things are starting to look up!

 

[Graeme1988]

Quite exhausted. Depressed. Having a bit of confidence crisis in relation to my creativity. In other words, I think I'm a bit of hack as a musician and song-writing. Or perhaps I'm just 2nd guessing myself?

 

[SilentAndShy]

I've been anxious for weeks with everything going in my head. Family, work, home and all.

Tonight I added to that by hitting my car to another and running away. I'm waiting for the cops to come and give me my punishment that will be deserved.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, one of my song collaborations just fell through. I'm quite depressed about it. Mainly because I wasn't even informed about it until a few hours ago.

Maybe I'm just a hack, playing at being so-called "musician / music producer"?

 

[theoutsider]

I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions lately. Ranging from feeling like I've made a breakthrough to feeling like I'm entering the worst phase of my life. Hoping/praying things turn out well.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

Well, one of my song collaborations just fell through. I'm quite depressed about it. Mainly because I wasn't even informed about it until a few hours ago.

Maybe I'm just a hack, playing at being so-called "musician / music producer"?

Unfortunately, people are unreliable. That says a lot more about them than about you.

 

[Graeme1988]

Unfortunately, people are unreliable. That says a lot more about them than about you.

Yeah, I guess. Though, not gonna lie, my confidence has really taken a serious knock. Or, at least, what little I have in my creative abilities has. Not that I have a great deal of self confidence in general - due to upbringing.

Like, I don't know if I should soldier on or just pack it in?

 

[Phoenixx]

I've been a bundle of sad, lonely, and tired this week with the occasional sprinkle of temporary happiness.

I know this is mostly my PMDD and probably SAD and it will pass in the next couple days, but man do the days drag on when I'm feeling like this.

 

[Graeme1988]

Neurotic. Yeah... that pretty much sums up how I've been feeling, lately.

I'm fed up with being constantly told I'm a "pillar of strength" for my family just because I'm the one quietly holding them together when everything goes to crap.


Meanwhile, I'm an emotional wreck. Not that they'd know, since I quite at put on front and pretending am alright. Well, most of the time, when I can maintain it long enough.

And I'm starting to realise how much I really suck as at playing guitar and songwriting, because I don't actually know how to do either of those aspects of music particularly well or properly.

 

[Phoenixx]

Feeling sad that life will be back to nothing but work and spending most days alone after today. I know I'm a fairly independent person who craves my alone time, but every once in a while it gets to me.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

Sometimes I just need a day where I get home from work, eat a bowl of mac and cheese, and binge-watch Seinfeld until I fall asleep. Throw out any pretense of being productive.

This is one of those days.

 

[SilentAndShy]

"I f*****g hate driving!" I barked at my wife as I tried and failed to reverse my car into the driveway for the billion times.

I will have been driving for four years in September, in my mid-thirties and I am so tired of being rubbish at driving causing a nuisance to myself, the people around me and other drivers.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah f__kin' hate my life, I really do. As well as myself. Can't even bring myself to pick up and play my guitar, that's how bad things are. I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts. But I can say anything. Didn't exactly go, as far as my family comprehending or having any empathy for why I felt that way.

Anyway, the last 5 months of my life have been unproductive and frickin' hellish. Between family members getting coronavirus, to family dysfunction, to me having to listen — for the last 5 months — to my mother bang on about her anxiety endlessly. Day in, day oot. As if, because I dealt with it when I was younger and still do to this day, I somehow have all the answers about dealing with anxiety. Ah don't... I just happen to know what works best for in terms of coping mechanism when I'm feeling anxious or stressed out.

To the point where, I snap at her today and said words to the effect of "Either start dealing with it or I'm outta here". Cuz I am mentally beaten down to the point of being completely miserable. She says she needs, says she'll make an effort to deal with her anxiety. But thus far all she's done is telling me I'm right about how she overthinking but that's it. My advice falls on deaf ears, even like I said to her about listening to her favourite music.

I'm at my wit's end here.

 

[theoutsider]

I'm tired of being unhappy.