Ah f__kin' hate my life, I really do. As well as myself. Can't even bring myself to pick up and play my guitar, that's how bad things are. I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts. But I can say anything. Didn't exactly go, as far as my family comprehending or having any empathy for why I felt that way.
Anyway, the last 5 months of my life have been unproductive and frickin' hellish. Between family members getting coronavirus, to family dysfunction, to me having to listen —
for the last 5 months — to my mother bang on about her anxiety endlessly. Day in, day oot. As if, because I dealt with it when I was younger and still do to this day, I somehow have all the answers about dealing with anxiety. Ah don't... I just happen to know what works best for in terms of coping mechanism when I'm feeling anxious or stressed out.
To the point where, I snap at her today and said words to the effect of "Either s
tart dealing with it or I'm outta here". Cuz I am mentally beaten down to the point of being completely miserable. She says she needs, says she'll make an effort to deal with her anxiety. But thus far all she's done is telling me I'm right about how she overthinking but that's it. My advice falls on deaf ears, even like I said to her about listening to her favourite music.
I'm at my wit's end here.