Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Everything was going great... until yesterday. When my oldest sister had massive row with one of my cousins with our mother caught in the middle.
So, needless to say I'm raging. But not allowing to say owt, because it'll just started another row and my mum does'nae want the stress. Because, inevitably, me opening my big mouth will start another row. Since I don't tend mince my words during arguments.
But it funny, how I'm never allowed to say how the arguments affect, and have affected me. My mum can breakdown in tears and go about not being able to take anymore, but I'm just supposed to pretend like nothing's happened? And pretend we all get along; when the only yin I get along with, really, is my mother.
Ah mean: is it normal to do that? To keep internalise yer feelings and just letting negativity build n' build? Staying quiet when y'know you should speak up? Because I've been doing that with my family for well over 20 years, as sad as that is to admit. But then I'm always putting myself last as far as my needs, happiness and my well-being going.
It's no exactly great huvin' tae always put on this fake front of "being fine" cuz every time am asked by muh family: "How ye keepin'...?" And I answer that question honestly, the response is either a short Ha! laugh followed by "Aren't we all...?" as if me saying I'm depressed is somehow so relatable?
Yeah, ah doubt everyone's depressed for the reason as me, eh? Realising that nothing's really changed; aside from my relationship with my mother. Other than that: my family is still as dysfunctional as when I was growing up.
Or the other react will a
kin' lecture about how I have no reason to depressed?
Aside from being born disability, the dysfunctional family, and having a difficult relationship with my mother up until my early 20s.
Och well, it was a great, happy and productive few days there. The Saturday to Tuesday just passed there. Now it's back to being sad, quiet and miserable.
So, needless to say I'm raging. But not allowing to say owt, because it'll just started another row and my mum does'nae want the stress. Because, inevitably, me opening my big mouth will start another row. Since I don't tend mince my words during arguments.
But it funny, how I'm never allowed to say how the arguments affect, and have affected me. My mum can breakdown in tears and go about not being able to take anymore, but I'm just supposed to pretend like nothing's happened? And pretend we all get along; when the only yin I get along with, really, is my mother.
Ah mean: is it normal to do that? To keep internalise yer feelings and just letting negativity build n' build? Staying quiet when y'know you should speak up? Because I've been doing that with my family for well over 20 years, as sad as that is to admit. But then I'm always putting myself last as far as my needs, happiness and my well-being going.
It's no exactly great huvin' tae always put on this fake front of "being fine" cuz every time am asked by muh family: "How ye keepin'...?" And I answer that question honestly, the response is either a short Ha! laugh followed by "Aren't we all...?" as if me saying I'm depressed is somehow so relatable?
Yeah, ah doubt everyone's depressed for the reason as me, eh? Realising that nothing's really changed; aside from my relationship with my mother. Other than that: my family is still as dysfunctional as when I was growing up.
Or the other react will a

Och well, it was a great, happy and productive few days there. The Saturday to Tuesday just passed there. Now it's back to being sad, quiet and miserable.
