If I know certain family members or other people will straight-up start political debates in person based on what I or others posted on FB, I will either a) unfollow said person and post my own views to only be seen by certain people and not them, or b) not even be friends with that person. Those kinds of people are not worth engaging, especially on a daily basis. If they're persistent on commenting in order to argue, I either don't bother to read what they have to say or I'll tell it like it is and if they don't like it, too bad. They started it and I'll either choose to finish it or leave them hanging. My choosing to finish it is usually stating my point and then indicating to not even bother arguing because for one, they're not going to change my opinion, and two, their sources backing up their apparent argument are so horribly biased and false that it doesn't even make sense for a clear debate to begin with.
I don't know what your family's like socially, if they're the ones to jump into these topics and try to drag you in too, but good to just avoid these topics at all costs. Even moreso if your family's already toxic as it is and no one sees eye-to-eye on anything. My brother is currently living back with my parents, so whenever I stop in for more than 5 minutes to see my mother, my brother apparently seems to think talking about debatable topics like politics is a good way to start a conversation and will try to talk (read: argue) about it with me even though we clearly have disparate views on such matters. (He doesn't have FB, so he doesn't know all my views I don't think, but he does know I lean much more liberally.) It would be different if he were capable of holding an actual discussion, but sometimes he loves to argue for the sake of arguing. I take a similar approach IRL than I do on FB with him. So my response to him is usually, "I didn't come here to bicker about politics and believe me, you and I both know that's an argument you're not going to win, so let's not waste each other's time." It usually shuts him up, but if he does try to continue to talk about it, I will ignore him and either a) start the conversation I needed to have with my mother or b) straight up leave (this is rare; it's typically when he's deciding to be exceptionally ignorant and argumentative).
I know you live with your family, so it's hard to avoid them, but remember you always have the option to either partake in toxic one-sided conversations or ignoring them entirely if they do happen and of course just post on FB with a limited audience.
I know... it just they tend to put me on the spot when they ask what I think. Then they usually go off on one, telling me I'm wrong or mock me from having the perspective I do, etc. Which is why I tend to keep quiet at the dinner table during Christmas. Since I know I'll likely start an argument, unintentionally.
Plus, my older sister pulled the
"You don't understand what it's like to deal with racism" argument on the oldest sibling (technically step-sibling) who is white, playing the victim in my opinion. Something I never called her on at the time because I knew she'd start on me.
And my older sister also has a tendency to do this as well:
but sometimes he loves to argue for the sake of arguing.
So that, coupled with the fact that I still haven't forgotten about the smug
"You do f__k around here, anyway" remark she made to me before last Christmas. Not that I ever get an apology any time my family says something that upsets me, since it's always me who's in the wrong. Anyway, I just feel I'd be better spending Christmas by myself since as soon as the initial lockdown restrictions on meeting up were lifted here in Scotland, things just went back to normal - ie. My older sister complaining nearly every time she and her kids come to visit.
Also, the last 2 times we did get into an argument, it ended with me being told to "
F__k off!!", and the middle child storming off in the huff
. Then I got guff from our mother who asked me why
I'm always started drama. Ironic, considering I'm the quiet,
"sensible" one. Or the
"right clever cunt" as one of my cousins described me once.
As for what my family is like socially. Speaking for myself, whenever I'm in the room, it's usually tense. And it's not just me who's noticed this, my oldest sister even said the same a few months ago. Like it'll kick off at any moment if one of us says a wrong word, or makes a joke that middle child takes offense at. I mean, she kicked off a few days ago after our oldest sister jokingly asking her if she wanted to put our mother's eye drops in for her.
I do post to a limited audience on FB now (a couple of my cousins, my oldest sister, and her fiancée). Don't know if I can be bothered going back and limiting my older posts since I haven't said anything wrong.
