LoyalXenite
Well-known member
I haven't been hugged since before my grandma died in '03.
I'd probably scream and pass-out or climb a tree or something.
Is it any wonder we're all messy then when you factor this in
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Is it any wonder we're all messy then when you factor this in
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Pretty miserable, to be honest. I don't really see the point in trying anymore. I feel I should just give up.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
That explains a lot.Is it any wonder we're all messy then when you factor this in
I wonder if escorts give rebates if all you want is hugs?
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I'm sorry you're feeling low, Graeme.
Your sister seems to be a real problem for your family.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Thanks, I guess... Sorry I'm still feeling kinda shitty.
Your sister seems to be a real problem for your family.
She is, but she doesn't see that she's a problem. The snide remarks. The arrogant attitude, which makes her unlike. Or a few days ago, when my sister literally lost it when our mother told her the oldest of her 2 grandchildren to her home. After my sister said the exact same thing. Normal, right? Not to my sister. How she's managed to maintain the friends she had since her school days baffles me, give how she treats me and our mum.
Can't confront her though, because she just loses it. Shouting, swearing, asking the same question over n' over.
But I'm the arsehole?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah think that mental breakdown o' mine might just occur at Christmas after all. At least, I'm bloody hoping it does...
Because, apparently, me calling my own mother a "neurotic... eejit *" - after she made a fuss and insisted that I move a CD/DVD spindle lid from laying on top of a 6-way plug socket extension "in case it caught fire" - wasn't "very nice". Don't ask - I don't know, either. The spindle, I mean...
(* and that wasn't the word I wanted to use).
Feel free to have laugh at my expense. I mean, my mother did when I asked her how piece of hard plastic could catch fire just by sitting on top of some plugs. Don't worry, I'm well used to it by now, being the youngest of my immediate family.
At least, I'm bloody hoping it does... Because, apparently, me calling my own mother a "neurotic... eejit *" - after she made a fuss and insisted that I move a CD/DVD spindle lid from laying on top of a 6-way plug socket extension "in case it caught fire" - wasn't "very nice". Don't ask - I don't know, either. The spindle, I mean...
(* and that wasn't the word I wanted to use).
Feel free to have laugh at my expense. I mean, my mother did when I asked her how piece of hard plastic could catch fire just by sitting on top of some plugs. Don't worry, I'm well used to it by now, being the youngest of my immediate family.
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
In the last four years, I don't think I've ever enjoyed time off work.
Normally, when you have a week away from the office (or your kitchen table atm) you feel excited and have plans in-store or things to do. I've had trepidation and anxiety, worrying about how the week will unfold taking my wife out and now, my children into social gatherings (playcentres, restaurants) all tied into my driving anxiety that envelops me.
This week is supposed to be a happy week with birthdays galore, yet I'm crippled by the thought of going out and doing things to celebrate those occasions than actually doing them. I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. In some ways or another, I fear this anxiety will directly, or indirectly, finish me off.
Normally, when you have a week away from the office (or your kitchen table atm) you feel excited and have plans in-store or things to do. I've had trepidation and anxiety, worrying about how the week will unfold taking my wife out and now, my children into social gatherings (playcentres, restaurants) all tied into my driving anxiety that envelops me.
This week is supposed to be a happy week with birthdays galore, yet I'm crippled by the thought of going out and doing things to celebrate those occasions than actually doing them. I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. In some ways or another, I fear this anxiety will directly, or indirectly, finish me off.
Miserum
Well-known member
I've been feeling this lately too. A slow burn of anxiety into a realm of madness. I actually feel like I'm on the verge of going completely insane some of these days. Definitely depressed. Have gotten joy out of little these past few months and especially this month. It's atrocious. You're not alone.
Feeling good enough to post here atm though.
Is the driving, albeit stressful, improving at least?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
As I was yesterday and the day before that. Except more pissed after my oldest sister relayed to me an argument she'd had with her younger sister in which my name was brought up.
So, our mother has an issue with her eyes and recent got drops for it. Anyway, when oldest asked the younger one if she'd put the drops in for our mum, she responded by asking: "Why would ah do that? Cun Graeme no dae it?"
There's that "He's feck all anyway" logic again. Which is ironic. Anyway...
I'd saying I'm starting to notice a recurring theme when it comes to family responsibility, but I've been the one tasked with looking after our mother since ah wus around 15, 16 years old. Though, that could be down to me actually being genuinely concerned for her well-being due her asthma and her getting older.
So, our mother has an issue with her eyes and recent got drops for it. Anyway, when oldest asked the younger one if she'd put the drops in for our mum, she responded by asking: "Why would ah do that? Cun Graeme no dae it?"
There's that "He's feck all anyway" logic again. Which is ironic. Anyway...
I'd saying I'm starting to notice a recurring theme when it comes to family responsibility, but I've been the one tasked with looking after our mother since ah wus around 15, 16 years old. Though, that could be down to me actually being genuinely concerned for her well-being due her asthma and her getting older.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Feeling so agitated this morning. Three nights in a row woken up by weird dreams and feeling anxious. This morning had a weird dream resulting in me being angry for some reason. Tried to go back to sleep, was kept awake by anxious thoughts, then when I finally DID fall back asleep I was woken up by the damn garbage truck at 5:30am.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Feeling so agitated this morning. Three nights in a row woken up by weird dreams and feeling anxious. This morning had a weird dream resulting in me being angry for some reason. Tried to go back to sleep, was kept awake by anxious thoughts, then when I finally DID fall back asleep I was woken up by the damn garbage truck at 5:30am.
I've started taking Benadryl at night because of this. It makes me feel less-restless, and when I do wake up it's easier to fall back asleep. I just have to be careful with the dosage, if I take too much I feel groggy all-day the next day.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Ah, yeah. Benadryl hits me hard too. Benadryl also leaves me wheezy with my asthma, as sometimes antihistamines can have a drying effect. So I try not to take it too often.
Ultimately what's keeping me up at night with anxiety is just some unresolved tension I've been carrying around still from my last job. I hate to admit it. It's hard for me to move on from things that have really effected me. I'm just slowly poisoning myself hanging onto baggage, yet can never seem to let go. So lately in the middle of the night when I'm anxious, I've been reading mindful and wellness articles which have been helping. I actually just did a large exercise I read about last night which you write a letter to the person who hurt you, but you don't send it. It's just for you, as if what you want to say to them and then critically think about why you want to say those things. I think this will wind up helping tremendously. I already feel pretty good. Now I'm late to my trip to the store because of it.
I needed to take this time this morning to do it though. 2 hours and 5 pages. Jesus, I didn't think I had that much pent up guilt and sorrow and anger still, but I did.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Feeling much better this morning. I managed to sleep through the night up until I woke up this time at 4am after a weird dream and my husband's alarm going off shortly after. Spent an hour with cycling thoughts before falling back asleep and waking up right at 7am. Not perfect, but definitely improved. And at least my weird dream this time wasn't a borderline nightmare.
Now I hope I have the energy to get some things done today. The last little bit of summer has been hanging on the last couple days with the temps being above 90F, just adding to my sluggishness. Today's supposed to be a bit cooler at 83F.
Edit: Forgot to add that I deleted FB off my phone entirely and that has helped A TON. No more feeling the urge to have to check social media just because my phone is nearby. I'm now only checking on my computer when I'm actually on it, but even then only looking at notifications and messages and nothing else. No mindless scrolling, no getting caught up in our country's corruption and bullshit thanks to an inept government, no more wondering what I'm-not-a-racist-because-I-go-to-church family member or "friend" is going to comment defending our orange dictator or telling me how some people probably "deserved it" regarding the violence that's been going on or sending me a "coronavirus is a hoax!" or "what drs don't really want you to know about coronavirus!" videos. I think I burned some bridges there because I started calling them out on their ignorance. Basically told them that in order to actually have a debate they needed to have factual information, reliable sources, and take the time to form cohesive sentences that are legible if you expect me to take the time to read it because if they couldn't do any of that then they shouldn't even bother. No one's commented in a while.
A really bad habit of mine I was noticing is whenever I'd wake up in a bad mood, I'd immediately open FB and start reading news stories and reposting and commenting on whatever dumb thing our president did that day, or whatever ignorant thing supporters did that day. Thinking ranting would make me feel better and let me have an outlet to release my agitation when really it just made it worse because it was just adding fuel to the fire. No more of that. I'm really trying to kick that habit.
Now I hope I have the energy to get some things done today. The last little bit of summer has been hanging on the last couple days with the temps being above 90F, just adding to my sluggishness. Today's supposed to be a bit cooler at 83F.
Edit: Forgot to add that I deleted FB off my phone entirely and that has helped A TON. No more feeling the urge to have to check social media just because my phone is nearby. I'm now only checking on my computer when I'm actually on it, but even then only looking at notifications and messages and nothing else. No mindless scrolling, no getting caught up in our country's corruption and bullshit thanks to an inept government, no more wondering what I'm-not-a-racist-because-I-go-to-church family member or "friend" is going to comment defending our orange dictator or telling me how some people probably "deserved it" regarding the violence that's been going on or sending me a "coronavirus is a hoax!" or "what drs don't really want you to know about coronavirus!" videos. I think I burned some bridges there because I started calling them out on their ignorance. Basically told them that in order to actually have a debate they needed to have factual information, reliable sources, and take the time to form cohesive sentences that are legible if you expect me to take the time to read it because if they couldn't do any of that then they shouldn't even bother. No one's commented in a while.
A really bad habit of mine I was noticing is whenever I'd wake up in a bad mood, I'd immediately open FB and start reading news stories and reposting and commenting on whatever dumb thing our president did that day, or whatever ignorant thing supporters did that day. Thinking ranting would make me feel better and let me have an outlet to release my agitation when really it just made it worse because it was just adding fuel to the fire. No more of that. I'm really trying to kick that habit.
Last edited:
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Football season's about to kick off.
Miserum
Well-known member
Football season's about to kick off.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
My cable went-out ten minutes before the game.
Miserum
Well-known member
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Man, the Benadryl hit different last night.
I had to peel myself off the bed this morning. I could've slept three more hours, easily. I've been going to bed really early and getting up early too, the last week or so.
If I'm not a night owl, I'm an early bird.
I had to peel myself off the bed this morning. I could've slept three more hours, easily. I've been going to bed really early and getting up early too, the last week or so.
If I'm not a night owl, I'm an early bird.
SilentAndShy
Well-known member
I've been feeling this lately too. A slow burn of anxiety into a realm of madness. I actually feel like I'm on the verge of going completely insane some of these days. Definitely depressed. Have gotten joy out of little these past few months and especially this month. It's atrocious. You're not alone.
Feeling good enough to post here atm though.
Is the driving, albeit stressful, improving at least?
It has been two years since I'd say I've started to drive again after a period of a decade of not driving, or driving less frequently. I don't think I'm at a stage where I can drive in a calm state of mind - even taking a short journey gives me anxiety, thinking about every situation that may develop or happen (accidents, car breaking down on me and not knowing what to do) and my reaction when something happens (a bad gear change, close shaves or near accidents) to cuss and sweat. I think everytime I drive I get out of the car sweating. So in short lol - the jury is still out. Some days good, especially when I drive consistently without any issues, and some days I just don't want to but have to.