How are you feeling?

[Jungle]

Feeling exhausted, my abs and legs are busted, I've done too many mawashigeris...

 

[MollyBeGood]

I was listening to movie reviews on the Radio. And they were talking about Australian gothic films, Picnic at hanging rock, Walkabout and Wake in Fright. The reviewer gave a great description of Toby Grant's character an English teacher who loses all his money in a two up game, a begins a decent into hell. All the other beer-addled residents love the "Gabba", but Grant feels it is hell on earth.

I thought that is exactly what living in the town I reside is like for me. I often read about the international significance of the town I live in, and how everyone "Loves the coast". For me this place is a hell on earth, this is the place I have developed a mental illness, and come to fear. I dream of an escape, and I am happiest at the departure lounge of the airport. Lately I retreat to the edges, and only feel safe before dawn looking out to sea, with my back turned on this town, and then dread heading back into town as it wakes. I have to go a long way before I feel relax, I retreat to mountains, into the wilderness, standing on the edge of a waterfall, as far away on the edges as I can get from people.

I fear the town I live, and I do wake in fright. Facing another day amongst the people of this town is a nightmare.

Everyhwere I go I am afraid, it is like I am trial. I can't escape the anger even on training runs.

Is it because it's a small town that you feel this way?
I never knew less people in a town actually could exasperate some issues I have but they can. You think less people less issues with people but nope-less people more gossipy, bored, backwards people who make you feel even more like and outsider if you are different.
Everyone's knows your business whereas as city with a decent number of people everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. A small town everyone wants to know what your up to and who you were with, where you are working blah, blah.
I love the natural beauty of this world and being surrounded by it has played an important part on where I have chosen to live but it has come with a huge price tag.

 

[S_Spartan]

Feeling washed out, if that makes any sense.

 

[Louco]

Nevermind.

I probably won't be around this forum for long, I don't think I found here what I was looking for.

 

[S_Spartan]

Nevermind.

I probably won't be around this forum for long, I don't think I found here what I was looking for.

This forum has mainly become people venting in a one-way, monologue style, and threads started by people who never come back to their own threads.
There used to be some lively conversations here. Like actual two-way, give and take conversations.
Sad to see it go...:sad:
The "other" social anxiety site is too youth centered with lots of threads about looks and school and lots of "fluff" threads.
Really it's getting harder to have adult conversations anywhere on the internet.
More and more it seems like the internet is only for selfies and buying stuff and even that seems stale.

 

[Graeme1988]

I just want to go somewhere... Away from my immediate family. Tired of being made to feel guilty for doing what makes me happy and putting myself ahead o' my family. Ah actually wish it'd be possible for me to just up n' move here to Edinburgh. Oh, if only...

 

[Louco]

This forum has mainly become people venting in a one-way, monologue style, and threads started by people who never come back to their own threads.
There used to be some lively conversations here. Like actual two-way, give and take conversations.
Sad to see it go...:sad:
The "other" social anxiety site is too youth centered with lots of threads about looks and school and lots of "fluff" threads.
Really it's getting harder to have adult conversations anywhere on the internet.
More and more it seems like the internet is only for selfies and buying stuff and even that seems stale.

There are interesting people here though. I wish I could have spoken to that girl with the LSD pills on the avatar, it seems like she is as ****ed up as me.

It's nice to talk with people as screwed and miserable as you because it makes you feel like you are not alone in the world, you know? There's no advice needed, there's nothing anyone here or anywhere else can say to make the lives of people like me better, you just want to reach someone who legitimately feel in their skin what's going on with you. It's sad some people can't understand that.

 

[Graeme1988]

There are interesting people here though. I wish I could have spoken to that girl with the LSD pills on the avatar, it seems like she is as ****ed up as me.

It's nice to talk with people as screwed and miserable as you because it makes you feel like you are not alone in the world, you know? There's no advice needed, there's nothing anyone here or anywhere else can say to make the lives of people like me better, you just want to reach someone who legitimately feel in their skin what's going on with you. It's sad some people can't understand that.

If it's any comfort tae ye, ah know where yer comin' from. Though, I'm not that effed-up, as far as drugs go, more emotionally doolally. And miserable, of course, y'know?

 

[S_Spartan]

There are interesting people here though. I wish I could have spoken to that girl with the LSD pills on the avatar, it seems like she is as ****ed up as me.

It's nice to talk with people as screwed and miserable as you because it makes you feel like you are not alone in the world, you know?

Sure, but most here don't want to communicate one on one or even in a group setting. It's mostly just quick updates with how they are feeling then they are gone. I'm guilty of this as well.

 

[Kiwong]

Is it because it's a small town that you feel this way?
I never knew less people in a town actually could exasperate some issues I have but they can. You think less people less issues with people but nope-less people more gossipy, bored, backwards people who make you feel even more like and outsider if you are different.
Everyone's knows your business whereas as city with a decent number of people everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. A small town everyone wants to know what your up to and who you were with, where you are working blah, blah.
I love the natural beauty of this world and being surrounded by it has played an important part on where I have chosen to live but it has come with a huge price tag.

Yes it is the size of the town I live, well there are 40, 000 people here, but it seems that everyone knows everyone else. There are links through work, sporting groups, shops. Definitely a backward conservative place, with a lot of homophobia, racism and intolerance of the mentally ill.

It is like living in a fish bowl 24-7, people judge and see the worse in anyone that is different. They see someone that doesn't fit, and they judge and label, put you in a disparaging box. Usually labels concerning my mental capacity or sexual preference.

I also have the same experience of enjoying the anonymity of the city. It is a relief to go where no one knows me, even though I am surrounded by thousands of people, I suddenly feel relaxed, and my thoughts become free again. At the other extreme, I enjoy it when I can get to the ocean or mountains, and there are not other people around.

Like you, it is really only wanting to experience the natural world that keeps me going on.

 

[theslowesthand]

I thought that is exactly what living in the town I reside is like for me. I often read about the international significance of the town I live in, and how everyone "Loves the coast". For me this place is a hell on earth, this is the place I have developed a mental illness, and come to fear. I dream of an escape, and I am happiest at the departure lounge of the airport. Lately I retreat to the edges, and only feel safe before dawn looking out to sea, with my back turned on this town, and then dread heading back into town as it wakes. I have to go a long way before I feel relax, I retreat to mountains, into the wilderness, standing on the edge of a waterfall, as far away on the edges as I can get from people

I live out in the country, but for sure seeing new houses being built, vehicles racing to & fro at breakneck-speed .. people have & are ruining the "safety" & "purity" of the natural world for me. Seldom can i go for a walk & not hear distant manmade noises. But i do have GAD, so maybe living anywhere where people are in earshot might feel the same (inability to truly relax). Lately i've been reminding myself of the fact that 99.999..% of the world consists of nature, not mankind, and that includes in built-up places.

 

[grapevine]

Well had a big anxiety/bed insecurity attack this morning. You know when you feel so rotten and I'll in the pit of your stomach.

 

[Megaten]

This forum has mainly become people venting in a one-way, monologue style, and threads started by people who never come back to their own threads.
There used to be some lively conversations here. Like actual two-way, give and take conversations.
Sad to see it go...:sad:
The "other" social anxiety site is too youth centered with lots of threads about looks and school and lots of "fluff" threads.
Really it's getting harder to have adult conversations anywhere on the internet.
More and more it seems like the internet is only for selfies and buying stuff and even that seems stale.

The biggest thing thats bugged me is that people seem less inclined to welcome new members too. So the old will trickle out and new people will come in, feel unwelcome and then leave.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm feelin' quite nervous this morning. :sad: And I'm not in a great place mentality at the moment, feelin' quite critical o' myself.

 

[defiance]

This morning as I woke up I was very anxious and my body was shaking from fear. Then the depression hit of course. I know I will never get better and so the question is can I live life in this manner? The answer is no. It is just impossible to do so in the long term. Every single day that I am alive is another day for me to prove that I truly am a worthless piece of shit.:crying:

 

[Graeme1988]

Slightly disappointed that I had to miss a couple show I had tickets for yesterday. But, can't help that. Though, I should be able to make up for those in the coming weeks.

 

[theslowesthand]

This morning as I woke up I was very anxious and my body was shaking from fear. Then the depression hit of course. I know I will never get better and so the question is can I live life in this manner? The answer is no. It is just impossible to do so in the long term

For my generalized anxiety, i take anti-anxiety medication. Also having thoughts of trying testosterone therapy (reduces anxiety). And as an absolute last resort there's Electroconvulsive therapy (amygdala deep brain stimulation is used mainly for PTSD; might be overkill for me tho?). Maybe some of these methods could help with your anxiety attacks?

 

[PugofCrydee]

Is it because it's a small town that you feel this way?
I never knew less people in a town actually could exasperate some issues I have but they can. You think less people less issues with people but nope-less people more gossipy, bored, backwards people who make you feel even more like and outsider if you are different.
Everyone's knows your business whereas as city with a decent number of people everyone pretty much keeps to themselves. A small town everyone wants to know what your up to and who you were with, where you are working blah, blah.
I love the natural beauty of this world and being surrounded by it has played an important part on where I have chosen to live but it has come with a huge price tag.

What you say about towns is so true

 

[MollyBeGood]

really f u cking annoyed and angry.
like the walls are closing in on me.

 

[theoutsider]

Feeling more and more dread on Sunday evenings because I know I have to go in to work the next day. **Sigh** I thought when I first started working at this job 2+ years ago, I'd finally found the place of employment where my anxiety doesn't kick in. But certain people and events have put a stop to that. I guess it's time to once again flee to someplace more promising. It's just so exhausting starting over again.