How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

Just trying to pick my mood back up after feelin' sad for no apparent reason. Depression giving me a metaphorical kick to the balls, there.
Ah mean, given ma weekend, how could I be depressed after that? :idontknow:

 

[mantishugo]

I'm feeling very well today. I have decided to learn one thing new daily and focus on my health. I have started consuming Soya Milk and Pure Noni Juice every day, besides that, I have started doing yoga.

 

[defiance]

Another day to disappoint the ones that rely on me. Try as I might I just can't do it. Fear,anxiety,depression,suicidal thoughts have created a wall to great to overcome. Some might say you are lucky just to be alive because of what the odds are. I beg to differ I'd say that proves how unlucky I am because with the odds being what they are I still lost and was born.

 

[Graeme1988]

Just kinda sad and lonely... Wishing ah hud a genuine friend. But they seem hard to come by where ah live. Or, at least, a more supportive family that helped or showed me how to cope with my struggles, would be nice.

As if tellin' me there's people worse off than me makes me somehow feel better. And, just because that's true, doesnae exactly make my disability any easier to live with. Everyday's a struggle for me.

Not that ah want anyone to feel sorry for me, just understand that my life isn't the spoilt-rotten, life o' luxuary sterotype that is some associate with being disabled.

 

[defiance]

I don't understand how much more suffering this mind of mine can take. Over the years, the demons have gotten stronger while I have gotten weaker. The end is coming. Just a few more years and it will all be over I just know it.:kickingmyself::crying:

 

[Graeme1988]

I don't understand how much more suffering this mind of mine can take. Over the years, the demons have gotten stronger while I have gotten weaker. The end is coming. Just a few more years and it will all be over I just know it.:kickingmyself::crying:

:sad: Ah wish I could say something to make ya feel a wee bit better. But I don't have the words. Plus, I kinda feel this way myself.

 

[defiance]

:sad: Ah wish I could say something to make ya feel a wee bit better. But I don't have the words. Plus, I kinda feel this way myself.

I appreciate the thought. But, as sad as this may sound, I don't think I can be helped anymore. I am pretty sure I will end up taking my life in a few years time. Sure some days I will feel a little bit better compared to others but it is still mental hell. Btw hope you are enjoying the festival you are at. Getting some good lols that will hopefully make you feel a bit better.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

One of these days I'm going to drive myself completely crazy, but I'll be too far gone to notice.

Maybe I already have. :thinking:

 

[Graeme1988]

I appreciate the thought. But, as sad as this may sound, I don't think I can be helped anymore. I am pretty sure I will end up taking my life in a few years time. Sure some days I will feel a little bit better compared to others but it is still mental hell.

I know this might not help, but I've been through similar mental hell with depression, which comes n' goes. Though, the only thing keeping me from taking my life is the fact I'm the youngest of my immediate family

Btw hope you are enjoying the festival you are at. Getting some good lols that will hopefully make you feel a bit better.

Oh, I am. More so than I did when attended the Edinburgh Fringe last year. This being my 4th year in coming to the festival.

Though, I'm still in slight shock. As I can't believe I got to meet one of my favorite female comedians... twice within the space of 24 hours!

Definitely must've been blushing when she came to me after recognising me from the previous day. Tentatively asked my name, said hi after being sure it was me, and shook my hand.

And I'd left her a message on YouTube, which she'd replied to, unbeknownst to me until she told me. As I just posted it, got ready and left for the venue where she was having her show.

So, it's been very memorable so far, great atmosphere as well.
Definitely, already, planning to visit again next year.

 

[treegirl]

good. just boppin along to songs and eating carrots. i think the end of the day is my favourite time. i've accomplished everything i need to for the day and i get to spend time with my dog.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I feel an urge. Not the good kind.

 

[theslowesthand]

I don't think I can be helped anymore

Same here. Almost complete hopelessness for my future. But i keep existing, for what god only knows. And i try to keep hold of my outrageous hope that i will, against all odds, proof myself wrong.

 

[Nanita]

:sad: Sorry to hear, Nanita. But I can relate so... y'know? You're not alone in that regard. I've been feelin' quite cheery, lately.
Though I am currently in Edlinburgh, away from the shitty, wee town I actually stay in for almost the whole of August.
So ye cannae really blame me for feelin' happy. :bigsmile:

Hey! Thank you Graeme.
I'm glad that you're in Edinburgh and enjoying it.

 

[Nanita]

I'm there myself. Looking at the future I don't know how things can improve in such a way where my mental issues will no longer burden me. Therefore carrying on with this hell is pointless for me. Sorry you are there too.

I know you're suffering too.
I doubt that I'll ever have the guts or the self destructive ability to actually commit suicide. All though I consider it the best idea.
I don't see any things I could do that would improve me or my life at all. It's not like I haven't tried. Not functioning in any regard. Why be alive and not function and not be able to enjoy life?! It's pointless.

 

[Graeme1988]

Hey! Thank you Graeme.
I'm glad that you're in Edinburgh and enjoying it.

:thumbup:

While I'm enjoying myself, I'm probably going to feel a wee bit sad for probably a week, once ah get back from Edinburgh. :sad:

Mainly because those first couple of days were great. Quite glad ah didnae let the fact I'd missed a show that I was looking forward to get me down. Though, seeing 4 shows in 2 days... Bad idea!

Also, there's so much going on, that's it's a lot to take in.

 

[grapevine]

I feel like melting into my bf. I know that sounds a bit you know- but I am feeling in this soft spot and it just keeps growing - I am finding the courage to face my insecurities within and test my boundaries. He is just very loyal , sincere and I just I feel I know that he loves me - there is no fear of that.

 

[defiance]

Same here. Almost complete hopelessness for my future. But i keep existing, for what god only knows. And i try to keep hold of my outrageous hope that i will, against all odds, proof myself wrong.

I hope you can make it man. If you are where I am mentally than I totally understand where you are coming from. All hope is gone no matter what you try and you can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel. However if possible, keep trying to find a way to make life enjoyable. I am trying that myself until my deadline. Hoping that before then I can find something that makes me want to live but only time will tell. In the meantime keep searching and hopefully you will find something. Take care

 

[defiance]

My body is feeling really weak today. Almost feels like my mind and body are in sync today. That is not a good thing by any means.:idontknow:

 

[Megaten]

Eh...really unsure how Im going to adapt to the changes coming up in school this Fall. Up until now everything has been in a small class of 12. Now theres talk of different clinics they want to send us to and "community service" of some sort. I gotta figure out how Im going to pay for this temp housing Ill need to live in since they're sending me away from home plus I dont know who Ill be living with. Hopefully itll be someone quiet as I have a hard enough time focusing as it is.

 

[S_Spartan]

It's hard to describe this certain boredom that I feel but it is very real.