How are you feeling?

I feel trapped and angry. I feel like screaming.

Weary. Angry. Stressed. Fearful. Unhappy.

Ah don't think ah'll be around much longer... 15 more years, mibbe?

Still sick, all of my glands are swollen so I am SO sore 🙁
Sorry for all of you who are down, but glad to see Molly was here.

You know how you can get that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach.... like something is going to happen.... But you don't know what. Well, aside from it being a relatively good day... I had some good news I wanted to share with someone, and they blew me off. Then I find out three minutes ago that one of my mentors passed away.

I knew it. I saw the call and I just knew. How... I can't explain. But I knew it. And now.. Gah. I feel like my heart and stomach are in shreds.

The good part about being alone and remaining that way is avoiding further heartache. This shit sucks.

There's no hope for me.

I want to die.

GraybeardGhost said: ↑

There's no hope for me.

I want to die.

Mate, I understand how it feels. Living feeling like there is no hope is extremely tough :sad: Are you getting any assistance? The only thing tougher than going through this, is doing it alone.

I have those nights where I wonder if I'd be better off dead.
So why am I still here?

Because life can change. I'm willing to stick around in case it does, and I get a few moments of joy again. As tough as it gets, that's why I'm going to stick it out. If we lived near by each other, I'd suggest we meet up for a coffee and a chat, but we live in different countries .

Dont go looking for death. It finds us all soon enough..

nodejesque said: ↑

You know how you can get that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach.... like something is going to happen.....

All through my life I've had 2 weird things happen.
1) Dreams that come true
2) Deja vu

I've had dreams that I've proven to other people that came true.
I only said to my son about a month ago when we where standing in the kitchen talking 'weird...I've dreamt this. I mean me standing here talking to you. But in my dream there was a blue car in our driveway'.
My son laughed, but about 20 minutes later my niece visited..in her new car..Blue.
Later as we were seeing her off, I looked at my son and said 'what color is the car?'
He looked at me for a second, having forgotten about the dream I had told him about earlier. He was shocked lol.

And Deja vu.. so many times I've had that happen.
So yea, I've experienced similar to what you're talking about. While I'm and Atheist, a believer in science, my own experiences have caused me to never discount anything 100%.
Sorry to hear your mentor passed away too :sad:

Lavinialuna said: ↑

Still sick, all of my glands are swollen so I am SO sore 🙁
Sorry for all of you who are down, but glad to see Molly was here.

Being sick n sore sucks :thumbdown:
I hope you feel better soon Lav

I feel so terribly alone. I wish I had real friends who really cared for me, and those who are they live far away. And since I m useless most of the time, I really make it hard for myself.

Like endin' it aw would, at least, gimme peace. Coz ah jist cannae cope anymair. Ma family're a bunch o' two-faced, inconsiderate arseholes who gleefully make me feel like shite. So, it's no' like ah'd be deeply missed or anythin'.

Ah jist want tae spend the rest o' ma days alone, in total isolation fae the rest o' society. Because ah feel that the way it should be. Because ye see people like me - yer broken doon, physically an' mentally crippled c**ts - didnae huv a place in society. Though, that's jist ma opinion based upon ma ain experiences.

nodejesque said: ↑

You know how you can get that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach.... like something is going to happen.... But you don't know what....

I know that feeling all too well. It's like when you're a kid and you know you are in trouble when your parents find out and it's just a matter of time... It's a horrible feeling. Hope you feel better soon, and so sorry for your loss.

GraybeardGhost said: ↑

There's no hope for me.

I want to die.

I hope you are feeling better now. We gotta live for the good days despite the bad, be kind to yourself.

PugofCrydee said: ↑

Being sick n sore sucks :thumbdown:
I hope you feel better soon Lav

Feeling a little better today, thanks Pug!

springk said: ↑

I feel so terribly alone. I wish I had real friends who really cared for me, and those who are they live far away. And since I m useless most of the time, I really make it hard for myself.

Keep hope that you will find real sincere friends. Hope you feel better.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Like endin' it aw would, at least, gimme peace. Coz ah jist cannae cope anymair. Ma family're a bunch o' two-faced, inconsiderate arseholes who gleefully make me feel like shite. So, it's no' like ah'd be deeply missed or anythin'.

Ah jist want tae spend the rest o' ma days alone, in total isolation fae the rest o' society. Because ah feel that the way it should be. Because ye see people like me - yer broken doon, physically an' mentally crippled c**ts - didnae huv a place in society. Though, that's jist ma opinion based upon ma ain experiences.

Sorry you are having a bad day, I hope you find something to smile about.

extremely nervous. have a job interview tomorrow. also nervous about the job itself. it's a sales associate position, so that scares me. but i need a job really bad....

Feel terribly lonely. I want someone who I can love and call mine. I'm to scared to go and talk to girls though.

chibiXphantom said: ↑

extremely nervous. have a job interview tomorrow. also nervous about the job itself. it's a sales associate position, so that scares me. but i need a job really bad....

Good luck I hope you do well! :thumbup:

overstimulated

Life is always changing ! How much time has passed, and I am older now. My whole life was never so depressing like the past eight/nine years. In those years, things changed so much. And time just fled away without me realizing. More time will pass and still I will be dissatisfied with myself. I wish I could change the way I am. Let go of things that I think will make me happy but who knows it may be just an illusion!

Flat.lonely. Worthless. Depressed.

^ I feel like that sometimes but have to force myself into believing otherwise.
Hope you feel better by finding a way out of it Pug.


Again a post..
I am so confused about my beliefs..I mean religious /spiritual beliefs. I don't want to be so faithless and I feel about not being able to believe that most people believe. I do have my faith that is my own..not defined by any name . Its just that I become an odd one out and feel bad about it. And i don't know what to believe ..I am not sure what i believe.

I'm actually in a good mood! I am feeling better (physically) today, so I am just so darn grateful to be on the mend. Sadly my husband is stressed out. This is how it usually works. Only one of us can be good at a time. Such a bummer.

GraybeardGhost said: ↑

There's no hope for me.

I want to die.

Hey, mate, it can't be that bad. :sad: PM me if you need to unleash.

chibiXphantom said: ↑

extremely nervous. have a job interview tomorrow. also nervous about the job itself. it's a sales associate position, so that scares me. but i need a job really bad....

It's been a day so how did the job interview go?

PugofCrydee said: ↑

Flat.lonely. Worthless. Depressed.

Sorry you're feeling this way, Pug. Anything you want to chat about?

Lavinialuna said: ↑

I'm actually in a good mood! I am feeling better (physically) today, so I am just so darn grateful to be on the mend. Sadly my husband is stressed out. This is how it usually works. Only one of us can be good at a time. Such a bummer.

I saw that you were having swollen glands and all that fun stuff so it's good to hear all that crap has now passed. 🙂 Yay for physical health!