I'm sad because Philip Seymour Hoffman died today.
This is indeed very sad.
I'm sad because Philip Seymour Hoffman died today.
Fiona contacted me overnight, saying thanks for my Christmas card ten weeks late and saying that things haven't been so good for her. I'm feeling a mixture of happy that she's contacted me after months of silence, sadness that things haven't gone well for her recently, and old, old, repressed feelings I've had for her coming out that I don't want to feel again.
What to make of this? :thinking:
I doubt she has any more romantic interest in me. I think she just wants someone to talk to. I'll continue to talk to her but I won't flirt or anything, see what happens.I would be suspicious of her motives. Does she think you're her rebound? It wouldn't be fair to you or to herself if she thinks she could settle for the next best thing. If it were me, I would want someone who treasures me as #1.
I feel exhausted.
Feeling angry and hurt, wanting to cry for a moment.
I had a short recovery but began feeling bad again. I'm not sure why I'm having such sudden mood swings but it's really annoying! I can't concentrate on my studies at all. I'm gonna take a break and do some makeup. I remember QuietGuy brought up jumping around as a way to get rid of excess energy - yes I actually tried that and got all self-conscious! I must look like some crazy kid on a caffeine binge!
I'm feeling really tired, maybe a little bit weak, and 16oz of coffee didn't really help. :\
Caffiene experiment
Sunday drank about 3 litres of Pepsi Max
result: couldn't sleep, thoughts running out of control, visited the loo on several occasions during the night.
Monday drank 600ml of Pepsi Max
result: Energy crash and slept for 11 hours.
I'm going to join the 'exhausted' group.
It might be too much sugar as well as the weather... but for the past few days I've been really depressed and just generally tired. I'm trying to keep critical distance and tell myself it's going to go away soon, though.
Like a waterlogged ball that no one wants to kick around anymore.
Heavy Heart You am I
I feel empty. Like I have nothing left to give.
I have done this exact same thing in class, felt the same things, and thought the exact same thoughts afterwards. I hate it! :kickingmyself:So today I was fighting the nervousness as usual and making myself speak up in class and when I did the first time, I could feel my face get really, really red and my voice was quivery mg: After that I was fine, but that first time for some reason... damn. I wish I could take it back.
I really hate my brain! :crying:
I have done this exact same thing in class, felt the same things, and thought the exact same thoughts afterwards. I hate it! :kickingmyself: