How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Everything's just gan tae shite! Nothin's goin' right fur me. Too many issues n' problem than ah can deal wi'. Too self-aware. Too frightened tae get mad n' start ragin' because that no' ma character. Y'know, am the nice, polite, say nae wrong, sweet, kind-hearted (c)unt - by which ah mean, person.

Ah should be happy, but am no'... Also snide, sarcastic, insenstive "joke" remarks, which are no' the least bit funny n' withoot a hint o' irony, fae the family are gettin' on ma tits (nerves). And startin' tae play intae ma BDD issues. :sad:

Ah know, hard tae believe, what wi' a face like mine n' shite soundin' but incrrredibly exotic accent - ah should be as be as Larry. An' he's so happy, ye need a f**kin' hammer tae wipe the smile of that toothy b'stard's face! :bigsmile:

Anywho, ah just want it tae end - either the comments fae the family or the misery am feelin'. Ye see me... ah know ye cannae, but anyway. :sarcastic: Right, am no' the kinda guy who can tolerate an endless torrent o' insult in ma direction - unless they're actually humour tae them. If am honest, am a right temperamental wee fanny... Meanin' ah've got a temper n' am pure mental. Sorry, it just comes naturally tae me - the jokes n' that... y'know jokes that are actually funny.

Basically am huvin' a wee bit o' dilemma here. Is it right, wi' the exception o' yer muther, obviously - since she carried ye aboot inside her belly fur a few months n' put on a helluva weight as result... Right so, eh, anyway. Is right or wrong tae tell yer some o' yer faimly when they might've over-stepped the mark in terms o' jokes...? Because there are some "funny thoughts" that never should said aloud. Ah would also say that's true of maist o' ma posts on here. But ah just cannae help masel'... It's like huvin' diarrhea at the wrang end! Humour as a defense... nae idea why ah dae it so frequently.

So anyway, just askin' because, ma current reaction / expression when am offended by summit is tae grimance, like ah've just hud ma wully stapled tae an office desk. Not a pretty sight... And ah think ah'll end ma wee, long-winded, guff speakin' rant there (and leave youse aw wi' that unpleasant but darkly humourous image). :ironicsmile:
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
Also I'm sick of still not having an activated phone. It's been over 24 hours since I requested my number to be transferred and still nothing. If this phone doesn't work by tomorrow afternoon I'm not going to be happy to have to go through customer service all over again. :thumbdown:
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^ I finally got my phone back. Yay!
 
S

spider04

1
I read a thread here some weeks ago about someone saying that removing bread/gluten from their diet has helped them, I did not eat bread for 4 days now and I feel........ great o_O
I feel like something was released from my stomach/belly, does that make sense? I'm not feeling as fatigued as before, not sure if this is due not eating bread or because I'm eating less.
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
Srijita52 said:
You're not, what's wrong?
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i just finally transferred to university to finish my degree. i work two jobs and moved back home to make it happen. it is just the looks/judgement from people who are much younger than me... you know, normal college-age... not so much from strangers, but step-siblings who are college-age.

tl;dr: they were raised with a much stronger support system so they don't get why i have struggled. they have no idea how toxic of an environment i was raised in before i met them and the psychological impact it left behind. no. idea. all of that has been completely covered up (why bring it up, anyway? it is fortunately in the past). all they see is the effect but not the cause. because they have no idea of where i come from, they do not understand why i have struggled. they see a basic loser (you know, all people "should" be established by my age). it's not their fault, they don't know better. still it hurts to hear their whispering in the other room.

but really, i could be projecting my own insecurities. i don't 100% know what they were whispering about me. it could be something else... still. egh. it is just the discomfort of living at home, which is temporary during this process of kicking *** and taking names... i am very grateful for the opportunity to get to do this.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
^ good luck with finishing your degree Dottie. I studied mature age too, and for me it was an academic success, but a social disaster. The age difference between me and the younger students was a problem, but more importantly I did well in the course.
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
iejdch

Tired, very very tired, though my mind still won't shut off the way I'd like for it to. My eyes feel like they weight about 1000 pounds right now. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
I had a long day. I just had a 2 hour test which I screwed up at the very end. I ran out of time. But that's not my concern at the moment. I have a team presentation tomorrow so today, I met up with my team for practice. My teammates were male, and I had a hard time trying to be comfortable. Whenever I speak to a guy, I get really panicky inside, though I try hard not to show outside. I usually can't maintain eye contact for long, but this time I sorta forced myself to look at the guys straight in the eyes when they're talking, but it feels very uncomfortable. I generally feel discomfort around the opposite sex, even when I am not attracted to the guys. Today's meeting was alright, but my peripheral vision's acting up on me again. I really hope I don't give people the wrong idea. Tomorrow, the day of the presentation, there will be dozens of eyes on me, and most of these eyes will be from men (who form roughly 80% of my class). Just thinking about it gives me the chills. Wish me luck!
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
spider04 said:
I read a thread here some weeks ago about someone saying that removing bread/gluten from their diet has helped them, I did not eat bread for 4 days now and I feel........ great o_O
I feel like something was released from my stomach/belly, does that make sense? I'm not feeling as fatigued as before, not sure if this is due not eating bread or because I'm eating less.
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It makes A LOT of sense. For more info, see the link below or google Gluten effect on stomach.

How Long Does it Take the Gut to Repair after Gluten Exposure? » The Paleo Mom

Note: Lactose has a similar effect as gluten.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
No' the best place right noo. By which ah mean mentally, ah've no' moved tae Aberdeen or anythin' like that. :ironicsmile: Just a wee joke, there. Lighten the mood a wee bit.

Ach! Ah don't know. Depression, coupled wi' ma utter inability tae speak up ah think summit wrong. Wish the cruel insults would stop... makin' me feel more worthless the more they repeat them. :crying: :sad: But then that what modern day comedy has come to.

Ah know ah should probably be more thick skinned. Hard no' tae take cruel insults personally when they're aimed at you & deeply offensive, yet ye laugh. Because ye huv tae laugh at people wi' a comedy IQ of retarded goldfish - Hahaha... Pathetic! Sorry, ma self-esteem's in f**kin' tatters at the moment! :kickingmyself:
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
I feel so extremely relieved! Everything that I've done this week culminates today. With the presentation done for today, I'm free!! At least for a month or so. Then I'm back to preparing for 2 final presentations before I'm completely done with school. Which reminds me, I haven't submitted my graduation fee yet. I have until Nov 1st to do it. I was too nervous to do it today, maybe next week.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
jaim38 said:
I feel so extremely relieved! Everything that I've done this week culminates today. With the presentation done for today, I'm free!! At least for a month or so. Then I'm back to preparing for 2 final presentations before I'm completely done with school. Which reminds me, I haven't submitted my graduation fee yet. I have until Nov 1st to do it. I was too nervous to do it today, maybe next week.
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Congratulations Jaim, freedom must be a relief.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
Kiwong said:
Congratulations Jaim, freedom must be a relief.
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Thanks! :)

But I couldn't help but replay the events over again in my head. I keep bashing myself for being so f*cking stupid for sitting behind 2 people who didn't like me. Don't ask, I have no f*cking clue why I did that. I also could heard some people saying things behind my back. The icing on the cake: during my presentation, I tried so hard to fake being extroverted. You know what I said during the presentation at the beginning? I said something like, "I am very pleased to be here"! Holy h*ll! :kickingmyself: Uh, it's actually the opposite - I was NOT one bit delighted to be there.

What the h*ll has gotten into me? You could say I was possessed. Thank goodness I have 1-2 more months before this nightmare is over!
 
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