How are you feeling?

Phew! it was only a dream. I didn't really do it. :omg:

Wired. <.< Need sleep.

Motivated by writing my plant book. I have already made a good start.

Still buzzin' after that Rod Stewart concert in Glasgow this past Monday. And ah probably appeared on the Scottish news, as that gig was also the opening night of a new concert venue & Rod Stewart was the first musical act tae play the bit. Waitin' ootside, freezin' wi' 12,000 other folk at 6pm on Monday evening - f**kin' yay! :ironicsmile:

Huv'nae slept much for 4 days noo. :bigsmile: F**k! :kickingmyself:

I need to stop judging myself so harsh for everything but meh its just soo hard for me. I wish I could just stop beating myself over silliest *perceived* mistakes. :kickingmyself:

Srijita52 said: ↑

I need to stop judging myself so harsh for everything but meh its just soo hard for me. I wish I could just stop beating myself over silliest *perceived* mistakes. :kickingmyself:

Aye! That's somethin' ah need tae stop doin' as well. I'm my own worst critic when it comes tae the slightest mistake, even when am talkin'. That's bad, innit? Which is probably why am no' much of a talker. Am no' much of listener either, but there ye go - ah can pretend tae be interested but ah don't retain information well. :ironicsmile: Confidence isnae ma strongest personality trait - ah can tell ye if it was ah'd speak ma mind mair often.

Scared. Not sure if I should tell my friends about my SAD. It is a mental illness after all, they could start to treat me differently or just simply leave me and talk behind my back.

Exceedingly happy! My uncle's dog who ran away last week was just found. Chances were really against the little guy, since the last he was seen before today he was jumping off a dock and lost in the marsh somewhere.

Anxy said: ↑

Scared. Not sure if I should tell my friends about my SAD. It is a mental illness after all, they could start to treat me differently or just simply leave me and talk behind my back.

I hate to say it, but if they judge you because of that they aren't your friends. They wouldn't really be good people, either.

still sad no one skyped me

I feel so ashamed for my past actions. I treated some people horribly in 6th grade. I was a freakin liar, lying so much. I never admitted my mistakes. No wonder no one liked me. There was this girl in particular who I could've been friends with but I treated her like sh*t. My other childhood friend, I still kept in touch with, but I could tell she's wary of me. We're not close anymore.

I need to forgive myself and move on from this. It was freakin 6th grade for God's sake! I was still a kid, immature, stupid, and perhaps autistic. I was bullied at home by my brother, and my mom wasn't a good role model for me. I had a bad upbringing. I was scarred as a kid and took my anger out on others.

Forgive and move on. Forgive and move on...

Passive. Ah don't huv the balls tae speak up when am offended by summit. Mainly because ah know me, and ah know ah'll lose ma cool. Let just say am increasingly uncomfortable when people make, unfunny racist "joke" in ma presents. Endlessly repeated again n' again. But ah laugh anyway, because ye cannae turn tae them n' say: "See you?! Y'know what you are? Yer c*nt!" Repeatition of a joke more a than once is bit like shaggin' a deid hooker - yer gonnae get bored of it, eventually. Unless yer a f**kin' necrophiliac!

Today at work, I didn't say hello, or goodbye to anyone, and I left this afternoon without talking all day. I left work for 3 weeks holiday and I won't miss the place for a minute while I am gone.

I feel ill, extremely tired and depressed lately. This life is a torture, and it has no perspective, at least nature should see this and get me off here soon.

Also my father came home from hospital and is depressing seeing he can drop any minute.

afraid of the wrath. you have no idea.

Feeling good. I Went for a walk again in the city to relax my mind, decided to take some photos this time. I see a lot of happy people around, it makes me feel happy too even though I was alone. I've spent about 4-5 hours walking around, this is a good exercise too. On my way home I took the wrong train and ended up at the airport, stayed there for a while walking around, then took the train to home. Had a little adventure today.

kihira said: ↑

^ cool adventure! nice to see lots of bikes, no one wears helmets though?

No one wears a helmet here, You'll look like a dork if you do. Cycling here is pretty safe in my opinion.

spider04 said: ↑

Feeling good. I Went for a walk again in the city to relax my mind, decided to take some photos this time. I see a lot of happy people around, it makes me feel happy too even though I was alone. I've spent about 4-5 hours walking around, this is a good exercise too. On my way home I took the wrong train and ended up at the airport, stayed there for a while walking around, then took the train to home. Had a little adventure today.

^ Nice pics! :thumbup:


I'm feeling a little tired today, but otherwise good. I randomly went out earlier with an acquaintance to do some quick shopping. I wanted to find something else to wear to the wedding I'm going to tomorrow, and I didn't feel like going alone, so I texted him out of the blue to see if he wanted to hang out. To my surprise he was all for it, I figured for sure he'd be busy with either work or school. I didn't find much of anything, and the three dresses I did manage to find to try on were a pain and didn't fit right. Disappointing, but glad I randomly hung out with someone for a little bit today. Actually I'm just glad overall that recently I've been trying harder to put myself out there and get back in touch with people and make new friends. So far he's the only one I'm trying to get to know, but I have a couple former friends from high school I'd like to get back in touch with too. Still haven't gotten the courage to message them at all. I feel like they'd think I'm really weird for messaging them out of the blue.

schoolschoolschool
workworkwork

tomorrow night is the art opening. my ex, who hates me and fell off the face of the earth, decided to invite himself.

anxiety ensues.

dottie said: ↑

schoolschoolschool
workworkwork

tomorrow night is the art opening. my ex, who hates me and fell off the face of the earth, decided to invite himself.

anxiety ensues.

^ Oh man. Good luck tomorrow, you're gonna need it. Hopefully your life starts slowing down a little soon, too. Sounds like you could use a well-deserved break.