Terrible, I hyperventilate all day. and Derealisation. I've been suicidal last night. I am not suicidal today anymore, but my life sucks, I'm not outgoing, I am depressed, I feel tired
^ I am really sorry to hear how you're both feeling. I wish I had something more sincere to say other than "I'm sorry." I hope things will start looking up soon. Hang in there.
Feeling full of hatred for life and sick of not being able to end it.
I feel horrible for wishing my family members could die in a car accident so I would finally be able to end my life.
Really, sorry tae hear that, mate. :sad:
Am kinda feelin' doon at the moment masel'. Basically, right, am really pissed off at being treated like n' spoken down tae like am still f**kin' 12 years old by older family members - most o' whom ah would love tae tell them tae "Away n' buy some viagra... so ye can go f**k yerself!" - no' nice, but a f**kin' brilliant insult. :bigsmile:
Though, oddly enough, feelin' a wee bit creative, though unsure what tae do, really? Since ah huv'nae done much paintin', drawin' or guitar playin' for nearly 10 years. :thinking: And ma mum seems a wee bit depressed lately, too, which doesnae dae me any favours. Things huv been quite distant between us, lately - at least, ah've notice that, anyway. We cannae seem tae communicate wi' each other - it's like am speakin' a different language or summit. F**kin' weird... And on that note, am off-ski (away).
Just got a newsletter from Codecademy titled "what will you build next?" Guess what? I won't be building apps or anything anytime soon because I got my hands full with schoolwork and presentations, not to mention acting lessons. = (
I got back today from a few days on the far south coast of NSW. I had not been that far south on the highway before, so it was nice to discover all the different coastal towns and eateries and views they all offered. I'm feeling sad to be back but happy that I did this at all.
Two pictures I'm going to show you are from a town called Merimbula - my favourite place while there. A fortuitous photo of a rainbow on a lake, and a delicious photo of the best truffle chocolate cake I've ever had. 😀
I got back today from a few days on the far south coast of NSW. I had not been that far south on the highway before, so it was nice to discover all the different coastal towns and eateries and views they all offered. I'm feeling sad to be back but happy that I did this at all.
Two pictures I'm going to show you are from a town called Merimbula - my favourite place while there. A fortuitous photo of a rainbow on a lake, and a delicious photo of the best truffle chocolate cake I've ever had. 😀
Glad you got back safely Mikey. That certainly does look like a beautiful place.
The past few days everyone in my surroundings seems to feel the need to talk excessively about their girl/boyfriend/wife/husband/lover whenever and wherever I'm around. They talk about all the fun things they've done together and the places they've visited and how they're so happy and lucky and crazily in love. I realize they're just really enjoying their lifes & each other and want to share that with the rest of the world, and there's nothing essentially wrong with that but... It makes me feel so !@#$% lonely. I feel like I'm missing out on one of the greatest things a human being could experience. I wish I had someone to cuddle up with on the couch, someone sleeping next to me, someone to be silly with, someone who cared for me and loved me no matter my flaws and shortcomings. I feel like having a relationship is commonly regarded as a very natural part of adult life, but some people don't realize how damn fortunate they are.
Honestly just need life to stop happening for a while. I just want to curl up in bed and forget the world exists. When I wake up, all of this will turn out to be false and I can continue on walking down the road of positivity I was on before sept. the 25th.
Loneliness is something I've had to deal with recently and, well, it's not fun.
I totally understand what you're saying. Some people can get in and out of relationships at a whim, while others couldn't buy a partner. It's a tough game. All you can do is put yourself out there - whatever that means - and hope that guys will be interested in you. Have you considered online dating? Might be a good starting point.
Glad you got back safely Mikey. That certainly does look like a beautiful place.
It really is. All the towns down that way are awesome. Merimbula, Eden, Pambula, Bermagui...er, none of those names probably make any sense to you, but take my word for it! 😀
I went for a walk at night yesterday in Amsterdam, the city is so alive at night, it's so awesome and I wasn't feeling anxious while walking around a lot of people. I came back home around 2.30 am and woke up this morning around 9.45 am. Even though I went to bed late I woke up feeling great, other days I go to bed at 11 pm and wake up in the morning feeling tired and fatigued. I'm going to do this every week now.
I got back today from a few days on the far south coast of NSW. I had not been that far south on the highway before, so it was nice to discover all the different coastal towns and eateries and views they all offered. I'm feeling sad to be back but happy that I did this at all.
Two pictures I'm going to show you are from a town called Merimbula - my favourite place while there. A fortuitous photo of a rainbow on a lake, and a delicious photo of the best truffle chocolate cake I've ever had. 😀
^ Beautiful pics, Mikey! Glad you had a good trip. That chocolate truffle cake looks like it could kill you. Death by chocolate? Yes please.
I'm feeling a bit better today than I have in the past week or so. Hopefully it lasts and/or continues to get better.
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