Nanita
Well-known member
I know that feeling, that´s how college was for me.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
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I know that feeling, that´s how college was for me.
Me too. I look around me and see everybody talking, talking, talking. So I feel immense pressure to fit in, I just want to run away. Even worse is when people notice me and start saying things like "she's sitting by herself", "she's a loner", etc and make me feel even worse. What's wrong with sitting by myself? Society views silence as a disease but talkativeness as a sign of health.
I feel like Futaba from Ao Haru Ride. I read the 1st chapter yesterday. I'm not incredibly beautiful or head turning like her, but the part that I identify with her is trying to blend in and avoiding standing out. Futaba toned down her beauty and intentionally became sloppier just so she could win the approval of girls around her. She used to be very girly but was ostracized by the girls in her class when they became jealous. In a similar vein, I don't want to be girly to avoid looking like a slut and therefore earning malicious gossips from people. I used to have long hair, wear girly clothes, but I was attracting the wrong kind of attention. This time, I'm looking for a fresh start. I had my hair cut short and replaced my wardrobe with more tomboyish clothes. It's not because I am denying my true self or whatever; it's more like, I want my external appearance to reflect my inner self. I am a girl geek and it's time I start dressing like one.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
So freaking exhausted. I went to the mall today. My mom had to get tires for the car, and since the place we get them at is right next to the mall, we always make a day out of it. The entire time I felt like everyone was staring at me, no matter where I went. My anxiety was terrible today. It hasn't been that bad in months. I don't think it helped either though that I woke up really early this morning feeling sick. I felt so nauseous and my body ached, my mom had the same thing yesterday, so I caught whatever virus or bug she had. Either way, I forced myself to go out because I'm getting tired of sitting at home.
On a happier note, I randomly found an awesome pair of pants that make my butt look great and fit perfect -- no extra tailoring required. :thumbup: I really wasn't planning on getting anything today, but they were on clearance for $12 so I got them. I have nothing to wear them with though, like a lot of the new clothes I've been picking up here and there. I'm slowly starting to spruce up my wardrobe, getting clothes that I was too afraid of wearing before, and trying my best to actually find the right fit and get a general idea of what sizes I am. It's so hard and tiring though. It'd be a lot easier if women's clothing sizes actually made sense and weren't created using voodoo or magic or something. :thumbdown:
On a happier note, I randomly found an awesome pair of pants that make my butt look great and fit perfect -- no extra tailoring required. :thumbup: I really wasn't planning on getting anything today, but they were on clearance for $12 so I got them. I have nothing to wear them with though, like a lot of the new clothes I've been picking up here and there. I'm slowly starting to spruce up my wardrobe, getting clothes that I was too afraid of wearing before, and trying my best to actually find the right fit and get a general idea of what sizes I am. It's so hard and tiring though. It'd be a lot easier if women's clothing sizes actually made sense and weren't created using voodoo or magic or something. :thumbdown:
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ I'm really sorry, Srijita. That's definitely one thing I don't miss about college, is those first days when people are just talking to one another, whether they be friends or new people they just met, and having fun -- and then you end up feeling so out of place. I know I'm going to have to endure that again next year, when I go back to school, but I'm kind of hoping by then maybe I won't be quite so anxious and can at least make attempts to meet new people.
Opaline
1
I have a summer cold (another one!) and I took some Vicks Sinex nose spray. It works well but now my throat is burning like crazy, it hurts soooooooooo bad! :crying: It's been well over a half hour, too, and I've been drinking tons of water and it doesn't seem to be doing anything to help. I just want to rip my own throat out, I started crying it hurt so bad. It's like having strep throat times five, and the pain will not let up! 
((
((
LoyalXenite
Well-known member
Really feel like im at the end of my rope... trying so hard to keep holding on.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Seems like summer colds are going around. I'm feeling absolutely cruddy. I went to bed super early last night, a little after 9pm. (well... I watched tv half dozing off until 10ish, so yeah.) Then I woke up this morning at 4 sweating, anxious, my head pounding, my throat sore, and my body aching. I took off the covers and my pajama pants -- too cold. Put on covers -- too hot. Half way in between -- legs too cold but body starts sweating. Wtf?! I've barely slept since, only dozing off for about 15 mins. then waking up only to doze off again 5 mins. later. It's now 6am and I can't get back to sleep. I just drank a mug of warm lactose-free milk, which helped me feel better, and now I have a hot bean bag on my head. I hope this cold goes away soon. I'm so cranky and feel like crying because I'm so tired! :crying: (I tend to whine like a baby when I'm really sick I'm sorry.)
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ Thanks Kiwong. I'm actually feeling loads better since then, after getting a few more hours of sleep. I fell back asleep around 7 and actually stayed asleep. My head and body don't ache nearly as bad and my throat doesn't hurt either. Sucks though that the pain starts to come back once I start moving around. I'll be taking it easy today.
It's funny, when I'm well I often feel like being lazy, but the minute I'm sick and I have to rest, it's the last thing I want to do. It doesn't make any sense.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Oh i can relate..I have been hibernating now, last two days, that I am free from that horrible job-This is the first day I have been alone in over 3 months!!
coyote
Well-known member
i can't wait until the official end of our season, october 20th :thumbup:
Feeling conflicted. School is starting soon and this will be my last year in college. However, I've been hearing from people that they couldn't get jobs because they're overqualified. I already have an associate's degree. As crazy as it sounds, I am considering dropping out this semester and finding a job first. Then I might consider completing my bachelor's. My school hasn't given me financial aid yet so there's still time to drop out. I chose to go to college because I thought it would help me find a job, but it looks like employers prefer to pinch pennies and hire cheap candidates. My job experience is almost nil, but I do have volunteer experience much of which is in the hospital which I would rather NOT talk about because I was pre-health/nursing at that time.
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
MikeyC
Well-known member
Is this why we haven't seen you posting as much recently? I miss your witty humour.
Srijita52
Well-known member
Thanks guys, had another day like this today. I did try to talk to a few people today which was awkward as hell but still I tried.
Anyway I'm feeling invisible again, not to mention lonely. Meh I don't know when I'll get rid of this awful feeling.