How are you feeling?

[Boby]

Awful. My cousin and I finally got into an argument. I knew it was coming some day soon, but it didn't need to happen, today, in college. I really don't feel like going into details, it's stupid. I'm basically just a "child" and she still won't stop treating me like one. I'm almost 19. I realize my life is pathetic right now, living with my parents with no job and license, grabbing rides as I go just to get to college and get an education, and god do I hate it (and I'm trying as much as I can at the moment to move), but that doesn't make me a child. I didn't say all that I wanted to say because 1) I was nearly about to burst into tears because I was so mad (and still am), and 2) it wouldn't have mattered, it would've been a continuous cycle of her attempting to prove how "mature" she is and how "hard" her life is right now. I basically sat in the car biting my tongue for a half hour, holding back what I wanted to say, as she continuously went on and on and on. My head hurts from being so angry and inhaling cigarette smoke.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I never want to add any more negativity to the site, yet I still am. I've also been trying so hard to stop thinking so negatively, and it's been working great for the most part, but I still find myself going back to the same old thoughts over and over.

Ugh.... At least I'm officially starting Spring Break.... What a crappy beginning.

I think you need tell her what's on your head.On what authority is she allowed to speak to you like that?Cousin authority??If my 9 years older then me cousin will speak with me like that i would've punch him in the face.She is using you to make herself feel more stronger and better about her life,will you have to suffer so I think you need to stand up for yourself and don't let her hurt you anymore.

 

[Phoenixx]

I think you need tell her what's on your head.On what authority is she allowed to speak to you like that?Cousin authority??If my 9 years older then me cousin will speak with me like that i would've punch him in the face.She is using you to make herself feel more stronger and better about her life,will you have to suffer so I think you need to stand up for yourself and don't let her hurt you anymore.

^ I partially agree with that statement. I understand where some of her argument comes from, I understand that she's struggling and always has (due to issues between her parents which I'm not getting into), it's the whining I can't stand. I hear the same story over and over. Yeah, I get it, but A LOT of what she's going through can be prevented if she just changed her ways. I try telling her this, she doesn't listen to me. She's 11 years older than I am, so she doesn't take me seriously. She already has bipolar disorder, and that in itself is hard for me to deal with because I don't know how to deal with it. She's always been a negative type of person too, and I believe some of what she says (judgments, insults, etc.) is based from the fact of making herself feel better. I can't tell you how many times she's said things to me that make me feel bad. I even feel bad when she talks about her family sometimes.

I normally stand up for myself. I mainly held back today though so I didn't start bawling my eyes out. (Damn you menstrual cycle and making me sensitive and emotional) I usually can't drive my point home if I'm a tearful mess.

 

[BlackPuma]

Awful. My cousin and I finally got into an argument. I knew it was coming some day soon, but it didn't need to happen, today, in college. I really don't feel like going into details, it's stupid. I'm basically just a "child" and she still won't stop treating me like one. I'm almost 19. I realize my life is pathetic right now, living with my parents with no job and license, grabbing rides as I go just to get to college and get an education, and god do I hate it (and I'm trying as much as I can at the moment to move), but that doesn't make me a child. I didn't say all that I wanted to say because 1) I was nearly about to burst into tears because I was so mad (and still am), and 2) it wouldn't have mattered, it would've been a continuous cycle of her attempting to prove how "mature" she is and how "hard" her life is right now. I basically sat in the car biting my tongue for a half hour, holding back what I wanted to say, as she continuously went on and on and on. My head hurts from being so angry and inhaling cigarette smoke.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I never want to add any more negativity to the site, yet I still am. I've also been trying so hard to stop thinking so negatively, and it's been working great for the most part, but I still find myself going back to the same old thoughts over and over.

Ugh.... At least I'm officially starting Spring Break.... What a crappy beginning.

Sorry you had to go through that, Phoenix. We're often critical enough to ourselves, and having others do it too feels a lot like kicking when you're down.

Especially when they just don't stop afterward. It's infuriating.

 

[hidwell]

Am feeling better, because I'm singing in the rain.

 

[jonas89]

Am feeling better, because I'm singing in the rain.

That's awesome, I was just running in the rain.

 

[twiggle]

Hugs for you Phoenixx. That doesn't sound nice at all, but it's good to see you back here

I'm feeling... tired, pleased that I almost met my target today, and ready for bed.
It's been an eventful evening and I got quite frantic about something at one point... thank you coyote for the advice

Yep, I think I'm in need of a sleep now.

Night SPW

 

[Phoenixx]

@ Puma: Definitely agree.

@ Twig: Thanks. Hope you sleep well. Good night to you.

 

[Sephiroth]

"dead" but alive,let's keep the daily struggle even hopeless,like tears break down from my pupils,I hope my effort help me bring this down,until that day I will keep struggling.

 

[MikeyC]

Awful. My cousin and I finally got into an argument. I knew it was coming some day soon, but it didn't need to happen, today, in college. I really don't feel like going into details, it's stupid. I'm basically just a "child" and she still won't stop treating me like one. I'm almost 19. I realize my life is pathetic right now, living with my parents with no job and license, grabbing rides as I go just to get to college and get an education, and god do I hate it (and I'm trying as much as I can at the moment to move), but that doesn't make me a child. I didn't say all that I wanted to say because 1) I was nearly about to burst into tears because I was so mad (and still am), and 2) it wouldn't have mattered, it would've been a continuous cycle of her attempting to prove how "mature" she is and how "hard" her life is right now. I basically sat in the car biting my tongue for a half hour, holding back what I wanted to say, as she continuously went on and on and on. My head hurts from being so angry and inhaling cigarette smoke.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I never want to add any more negativity to the site, yet I still am. I've also been trying so hard to stop thinking so negatively, and it's been working great for the most part, but I still find myself going back to the same old thoughts over and over.

Ugh.... At least I'm officially starting Spring Break.... What a crappy beginning.

This was inevitable. I don't know how you managed to hold your tongue the way you did but that shows a lot of maturity - something your cousin is trying to disprove. If she's going to continue to put you down this way, it's best that you don't talk to her as much because it's only going to lead to pain.

 

[Iluv]

Nervous :3. I'm going out tonight with someone and I hope it goes well. I can feel my SA coursing through me.

 

[Phoenixx]

This was inevitable. I don't know how you managed to hold your tongue the way you did but that shows a lot of maturity - something your cousin is trying to disprove. If she's going to continue to put you down this way, it's best that you don't talk to her as much because it's only going to lead to pain.

^ I'm good at biting my tongue. Maybe it's because I've held stuff in for so long? I already don't talk to her much, at least I don't try to. When I do talk to her, it's only when she needs something done or wants to hang out and I'm in the mood to.

We do get along sometimes though, and when we do get along it's great. I just wish we got along more and hung out more. I just can't stand to be around her for long periods of time because we butt heads so much. She's a lot like my brother, who I also don't talk to or hang around much (but when we do we act like morons lol).

 

[MikeyC]

^ I'm good at biting my tongue. Maybe it's because I've held stuff in for so long? I already don't talk to her much, at least I don't try to. When I do talk to her, it's only when she needs something done or wants to hang out and I'm in the mood to.

We do get along sometimes though, and when we do get along it's great. I just wish we got along more and hung out more. I just can't stand to be around her for long periods of time because we butt heads so much. She's a lot like my brother, who I also don't talk to or hang around much (but when we do we act like morons lol).

Maybe that's true and you've developed a way to hold stuff in. You need release sometimes, though, and it sounds like you came within a whisker of it there.

Maybe just limit your time around her and that'll be the best way to continue the relationship in a healthy manner.

 

[BlackPuma]

Nervous :3. I'm going out tonight with someone and I hope it goes well. I can feel my SA coursing through me.

Good lock, Luv. The person that accompanies you is also merely human, little flaws and mistakes are easily overlooked, take that as comfort to be more open and natural. You'll do just fine. ;3

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

sore everywhere. Last night really took everything out of me... I think my body hurts because I was so tense for so long-- bein' all... freaked out for hours.

 

[MikeyC]

sore everywhere. Last night really took everything out of me... I think my body hurts because I was so tense for so long-- bein' all... freaked out for hours.

It'd be like cardio workout, being all tense and "on" for so long. I think you deserve to relax now.

 

[Srijita52]

Nervous :3. I'm going out tonight with someone and I hope it goes well. I can feel my SA coursing through me.

I agree with Puma, I hope it goes well

Awful. My cousin and I finally got into an argument. I knew it was coming some day soon, but it didn't need to happen, today, in college. I really don't feel like going into details, it's stupid. I'm basically just a "child" and she still won't stop treating me like one. I'm almost 19. I realize my life is pathetic right now, living with my parents with no job and license, grabbing rides as I go just to get to college and get an education, and god do I hate it (and I'm trying as much as I can at the moment to move), but that doesn't make me a child. I didn't say all that I wanted to say because 1) I was nearly about to burst into tears because I was so mad (and still am), and 2) it wouldn't have mattered, it would've been a continuous cycle of her attempting to prove how "mature" she is and how "hard" her life is right now. I basically sat in the car biting my tongue for a half hour, holding back what I wanted to say, as she continuously went on and on and on. My head hurts from being so angry and inhaling cigarette smoke.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. I never want to add any more negativity to the site, yet I still am. I've also been trying so hard to stop thinking so negatively, and it's been working great for the most part, but I still find myself going back to the same old thoughts over and over.

Ugh.... At least I'm officially starting Spring Break.... What a crappy beginning.

That's awful. I hope you feel better soon *hugs*

 

[Roman Legion]

Slight change of pace.. Rather than just feeling like vomiting, I did while trying to take a shower.. ::

 

[Graeme1988]

I think I'm on the verge of snapping at my oldest sister and telling her what I really think. She told me the other day that I - and I quote: "You will come see our new house, won't you?" I put emphasis on the word "will" because that was the way she said it, in a manipulative way. Like it was a demand. Making me feel like I don't have much choice in the matter. Can't take "No" for an answer. I mean, she basically answered her own question for me, by the way she'd phrased it.

 

[Crazyclown]

I think I'm on the verge of snapping at my oldest sister and telling her what I really think. She told me the other day that I - and I quote: "You will come see our new house, won't you?" I put emphasis on the word "will" because that was the way she said it, in a manipulative way. Like it was a demand. Making me feel like I don't have much choice in the matter. Can't take "No" for an answer. I mean, she basically answered her own question for me, by the way she'd phrased it.

I'm guessing you would of gone if she didn't put emphasis? besides although she is ur older sister you have the choice not her. she maybe older an wiser as they say but its up to u not her. tell her dead straight, i would.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm guessing you would of gone if she didn't put emphasis? besides although she is ur older sister you have the choice not her. she maybe older an wiser as they say but its up to u not her. tell her dead straight, i would.

Yeah. See, the thing is, I tried tell my sister straight about something, last year, and she went in the huff with me. And didn't talk to me for 2 days, not that it bothered me. She's one of those people where it's their way or no way - everything on their terms. You know? It was the same this past Christmas when I had to meet her new boyfriend - just they'd been together nearly a year at that point. And she wouldn't stop bring him up in nearly every conversation me and my oldest sister had.