How are you feeling?

[WeirdyMcGee]

i'm sorry Weirdy i know we don't interact much but i wanted to tell you that I understand how you feel right now and I hope you feel better soon

*BIG hugs*

Thanks Violet~ you are always so kind.
...you probably do understand my feelings, too- hah.
I hope you can feel better as well.

 

[Graeme1988]

Too f**king indecisive. I don't know what I'm going to do. ::

 

[gazelle]

Aww :: sorry to hear that. But usually these things are not as bad as we first imagine. Best of luck, hope it goes well.

Thanks for your kind words …I do hope so too.

 

[Felgen]

upset. emotionally drained.
I wish I remembered what joy felt like. -__-

You have my empathy and I know how you feel.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I think I may be feeling a little upset. Perhaps angry. I just don't know what to do. I wish I could just step out of the house and go.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I've repressed anger that I've stored for years. Insults thrown around by kids at schools, one insult in particular. I don't know how to expel it or at least channel it into something else. It's all really overwhelming, juggling insecurity and paranoia, being bullied, feel incredibly self conscious sometimes too and all this... anger. I need to get revenge, I need to make sure they're hurt. I'm not usually one to get upset over this kind of stuff,but I think it's healthier than...feeling like this.

Could seeing them hurting bring you relief or peace?

or could it make you feel worse for lowering yourself to the action of hurting another person?

I think the answer is different for everyone...before you take action to hurt them to get relief...think about the type of person you are and the type of person you want to be...then decide.


i've hurt one person on purpose ..it was emotional hurt i inflicted and i enjoyed it to the fullest...never had a moments hesitation or guilt. I still don't regret it bc they had it coming.

 

[Beatrice]

Meh. It's gloomy out, looks like it might rain. Chilly too. Not exactly spirit-lifting weather. I'm feeling kind of down myself, I guess because of panic/stress in some of my classes, and the frustration of the friends-making process. It can be incredibly slow on college campuses.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I don't know... it might mean I'm rid of this feeling of anger. I'm powerless to stop them abusing me. I've accepted their insults as the truth.

The thing is, I don't think I can do anything to hurt them anyway. They walk round it packs at school and on the street, and because the majority of children are weak, my 'friends' won't back me up or support me.

I'm just...so ****ing frustrated, I can't do anything, I just have to carry this anger round with me. And I don't want to be such a bitch to people, but...it's a defence mechanism that's developed with me to protect myself. It's not that I like being harsh, I just can't seem to...stop it.

What did you do? And how did it affect them?

You're making yourself so hard to people I can definitely understand why though and it makes a lot of sense...knowing what you're going through makes your need to be tough make a lot of sense.

Depressing as it is, the "friends" you've got now are obviously not friends. Friends have your back no matter what social group gets in their face about it.

I can tell you that while the harshness and toughness is really serving its purpose in protecting you now...it's a fine line before you become that way permanently.

As far as what i did...well i had several emails from my ex and i also had several emails from his wife...for some reason they both tried to use me as their advocate during their divorce. When i was called as a character witness for one of them...i brought both sets of emails to court and called them both out in front of the judge and attorney's. It resulted in a lot of pain and suffering for my ex. Based on many things he did to me while i was with him, he deserved it bc he turned around and did the exact same things to her. He wasn't going to stop until someone did something to stop him.

 

[Agent_Violet]

Yeah I guess...it's just, if I don't have a defence mechanism,I fall apart completely.
Ooo, haha. It was deserved though.

i know,it's a very valid concern.no one wants to fall apart.
BUT...you're a smart young woman and i'm confident that when the time comes for you to start letting your guard down, you'll be able to do it and you will NOT fall apart.

I have faith in you

 

[Tiercel]

Much better than last night.

Screw the sun. It's cloudy and cool, which I much prefer.

 

[MrJones]

Much better than last night.

Screw the sun. It's cloudy and cool, which I much prefer.

Yeah, sun is evil, scew it! Cool weather is better (not freezing, though XD)

 

[Arthur_Dent]

I already posted it someplace else, but as usual complaining eases things a bit:

Today's gotta be a zarking joke. First, some bastard screw my internet while trying to stealing the phone cable to sell the copper. Then, when I got to my university with the only purpose of having my session with the psychologist (there are no classes due to a studen'ts strike), she was already leaving and she said that she just had a very long session and she haven't already lunch so my session got postponed for tomorrow. And finally when I got back to my neighbourhood as soon as I got off from the bus it started to rain heavily.

There's no gonna be internet at home from at least two days, so I'll just gonna be stuck there with no valve to let go the pressure, I hope that at least tommorow's session helps some way >:-|

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. For starters, I'm somewhat happy because something funny happened in my book and angry because I had to go buy a new nail clipper. I'm stressed because my English teacher is holding discussions in my class and I really don't like expressing my opinion if I can help it. Problem is, there are a lot of awkward silences in those discussions. To top it all off, I'm feeling a little lonely; it sucks that I barely have any friends down here. Hey family, you know how you said that everything would change once I got into college? Well, I'm still waiting for that change; people still don't want anything to do me and can I blame them? Probably not, I doubt I would want to be my friend, so I can only imagine how I look to everyone else.

 

[Pyrophosphate]

In a word, better. I feel better.

 

[tryingtobreathgrl]

Today I had to go get gas and cigarettes because I forgot to ask my bf to grab them on the way home. It was all going pretty good untill I got to the gas station. I took the long way to get comfortable in the car and got there and decided there were too many people outside having lunch to go in and buy cigs, a lot of construction guys that were probably nice and just on a lunch break, but of course I panicked and got my gas and got back in the car to regain my focus. Drove to another gas station and waited till it wasn't as busy and jetted in and grabbed my cigs...its amazing how my sa makes everything so much harder...it wouldn't have been that bad to go into the other gas station...I wouldn't have seen them again, but I still can't stop the negative self talk. Anyone have any ways they kick themselves in the butt to block out the negative thoughts and just get it done??? I feel better that I went in to buy them..first pack I've gotten in a long time. My bf usually goes in. So I feel better about today small steps. Hope everyone is having a good day

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Today I had to go get gas and cigarettes because I forgot to ask my bf to grab them on the way home. It was all going pretty good untill I got to the gas station. I took the long way to get comfortable in the car and got there and decided there were too many people outside having lunch to go in and buy cigs, a lot of construction guys that were probably nice and just on a lunch break, but of course I panicked and got my gas and got back in the car to regain my focus. Drove to another gas station and waited till it wasn't as busy and jetted in and grabbed my cigs...its amazing how my sa makes everything so much harder...it wouldn't have been that bad to go into the other gas station...I wouldn't have seen them again, but I still can't stop the negative self talk. Anyone have any ways they kick themselves in the butt to block out the negative thoughts and just get it done??? I feel better that I went in to buy them..first pack I've gotten in a long time. My bf usually goes in. So I feel better about today small steps. Hope everyone is having a good day

Well, some methods I've tried have been the "stop thinking and just do it" or the "let your mind wander" trick. Those worked well for me. Of course, just being out there should harden yourself against your SA. But, don't rush into it or anything or you run the risk of overloading yourself. Like you said, take small steps and you'll be alright.

 

[tryingtobreathgrl]

Thank you I am just so sick of feeling helpless...like someone has to help me to get things I am capable of doing myself if it weren't for my SA. But it feels good even knowing I went into a store and got my stuff even if it was for two minutes. I think I need to be more realistic about what I'm comfortable with because I get all amped up thinking "I will do this today!" And when I chicken out and make excuses its like going back to square one. Definetly small steps

 

[this_portrait]

Feeling kinda drowsy, but I'm in a good mood.

 

[planemo]

I should be asleep, but i really don't wanna spend my time alone with my thoughts. So i'm feeling a bit down.

 

[MrJones]

I should be asleep, but i really don't wanna spend my time alone with my thoughts. So i'm feeling a bit down.

That time just before going to sleep is the worst for me ::
I'm in there right now.... some things can't get out of my head...