Going to a bar alone?

[Bo592]

Hey, I found this yesterday and this guy who has talked to thousands of women in bars had this to say:

author: "Mystery"
date: Sun, 13 Sep 1998 04:00:00 GMT
newsgroup: alt.seduction.fast
subject: MISSION for NEWBIES...Now is the time to stop Babe-watching. Get into a fun mood (which I know is hard for the very first girl but you can fake it) and walk up to many girls

THAT is your mission. I would like you to do this and yes, this is going to be a different day than you've done before. The past does not have to equal the future. If you keep doing the things you've done then you'll keep getting the things you've gotten - and that is NO GIRLS. This is your mission. Talk to 20 women in one day. Go ALONE. Do not antimidate girls by having friends with you. Not 1 or 2 girls either. 20. That is a realistic #. If you feel it isnt, then Im telling you now you are completely wrong and your emotions are fighting you. You will CONTROL these emotions head on.

That was just a couple paragraphs. I shortened it to not bore you guys. The big thing I noticed is he said it's ok to go alone and talk to girls. I was wondering if these pro PUA guys ever did that, and apparently one of them said it's ok to do that. Maybe bar-hopping alone isn't such a bad idea?

I'm not interested in talking to 20 girls in a night, haha, but I get his point.

Hello OceanMist, I just went to the bar with my sister this has been my first time I every been to a bar and I am 30 years old. I felt that bar are very loud I did not feel like I was able to talk to any women because of the loud noise . My sister had lots of friends that she was talking too. I see you brought up PUA people I was studying them not to long ago. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------I made a thread on hear about it asking every one hear how they felt about PUA people too. I am very interested in what you will find out PUA I could not make much sence from them they would tell that a women want a man who is pre selected by other women and the leader of men. O.k SO how is that suppost to help out a Virgin like me. I know your not suppost to act desperate for them for they want a man who is formerly with being on dates with women. But still if you don`t know how it feels then How can you pretend to be formerly with women. I did not get the chance to read a book so I don`t really know anything about how PUA work I only got the free information they give out.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Hello OceanMist, I just went to the bar with my sister this has been my first time I every been to a bar and I am 30 years old. I felt that bar are very loud I did not feel like I was able to talk to any women because of the loud noise . My sister had lots of friends that she was talking too. I see you brought up PUA people I was studying them not to long ago. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------I made a thread on hear about it asking every one hear how they felt about PUA people too. I am very interested in what you will find out PUA I could not make much sence from them they would tell that a women want a man who is pre selected by other women and the leader of men. O.k SO how is that suppost to help out a Virgin like me. I know your not suppost to act desperate for them for they want a man who is formerly with being on dates with women. But still if you don`t know how it feels then How can you pretend to be formerly with women. I did not get the chance to read a book so I don`t really know anything about how PUA work I only got the free information they give out.

If you're after quick night flings then the bar is your scene. You will, however, rarely every find anything lasting.

You should start online, Bo. You should also look into meetup.com. Get out there. Life is more than wanting a relationship.

 

[zen_mistress]

^sounds just like me several years ago. The library is my "bar/pub". While everybody was off partying at bars, clubs, lounges, or people's homes, I go to the library to chill. It's good to see barely anybody there but me and a few other people.

Yes. Libraries are awesome too. Free books!

 

[Kiwong]

"Mystery" seems hopelessly overwhelmed by testosterone.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Hello again. If anyone has been reading any of my posts, you'll probably see a mix of success and frustration. I've managed to get dates through online dating and a lot of those dates went well, although all of the dates ended rather quickly due to certain factors, some of those factors couldn't even be determined.

The positive thing is that I'm capable of carrying on a conversation in a 1 on 1 setting. The initiating in person is what I am afraid of. Not to mention having multiple people that I have to talk to. I definitely have SA and am afraid of being around people.

On to the bar thing. How many of you go to bars alone? A person I spoke with in a different thread said that he went to bars alone and walked up and talked to people a lot.

Honestly, that made me feel a little bad at the time because I looked at myself and realized that I've been terrified of doing that for years, and is why I've avoided bar rooms and clubs. Are many of you able to do that, to just approach people at a bar and strike conversation?

I have other questions like what do you do at a bar? Are you talking to people all the time? I mean I've been to a few bars before, but I found myself just chilling by myself and watching other people dance or talk.

By the way, I technically don't have friends right now, I don't hang out with anyone. Do you guys go to bars solo? If so, what do you do the whole time when you're there? I am concerned about just being the creepy guy who sits by himself and stalks other people's conversations and stares at other people having a good time. Because if I'm not that guy, then I'm just staring at my drink or staring at the wall?

I guess I have a lot of questions, haha. Feel free to tell me about your experiences or thoughts. I am looking to get a social life and/or dating life. Thought this could be some kind of start?

yes i have been to bars alone such as the famous Coyote Ugly , or a karaoke place, and some others in LAS Vegas, and in NY

 

[Bo592]

If you're after quick night flings then the bar is your scene. You will, however, rarely every find anything lasting.

You should start online, Bo. You should also look into meetup.com. Get out there. Life is more than wanting a relationship.

I thanking about giving POF a try I am waiting on a good picture I don`t have any great picture of me yet to use on POF and I know from research picture are very important to have for any online dating site. meetup.com sound nice to try out to. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------The weird thing is when I was in that bar I look at the women thanking if I was at the top of my game would I love any of these women the answer was no none of them women in that bar had what I wanted in a relationship.

 

[Odo]

I really hate the whole club scene and I find it hard to fit in among the disease collectors who frequent it. I've been dragged to these places before but I always get really self-conscious because it seems like the point is to try to go home with someone and have drunken sex that you won't even remember, which is gross. There have been times I've had fun at places that were more about just meeting cool people or watching a band or something, but of course I never actually met anyone and even though I enjoyed watching the bands I always felt super self-conscious and never really knew how to act.

Overall it's much nicer to find a nice quiet pub and have a conversation or go for a walk in the park under the stars or something… I don't understand how the apex of human relations somehow became sitting for hours in a small room full of sweaty people getting pissed until they stumble home reeking of second-hand smoke.

But for some reason, it's really hard to meet people who would rather spend their Saturday night just walking around on the streets (exercising while you communicate isn't cool or something).

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

When I read this thread last year I was like Hell no I would never go to a bar alone. Now I am considering it. Just to do it. Sort of like exposure therapy. Because it doesn't count the few times I go with my sister, as she takes the lead. I need to do it by myself.

Going to the bar offers hope of unknown adventure. It could be an uneventful visit, or you could wind up having more fun than you imagined.

Exactly this is why I want to do it. Coffee shops don't offer the same, um, risk. And what I have to do is take more risks.

Hope I don't get infected

 

[MikeyC]

I've been to bars alone. Not often but I have. It's okay, but it's definitely better to have someone there to have a drink with.

I really hate the whole club scene and I find it hard to fit in among the disease collectors who frequent it.

What.

Okay, let me elaborate: I understand what you're angle is here: people out on the booze, techno DJ music, strobe lights, and so on. I like nightclubs with live bands more than that, but I'm certainly not a "disease collector" if I'm only trying to have a good time.

 

[jc972]

I usually went to bars with a group of people. I'd sit and drink and look for girls to dance with. I enjoyed playing pool. I used to like the bar scene but I's feel out of place now.

 

[jc972]

There is a bar open in a town I drive through coming home from work, I went in there after a bad shift about a year ago. The DJ plays nothing but gangster rap and they only serve Bud Light (yuck!) and the one pool table they have isn't even level! Needless to say, I'll not be back. If I could find a good old dive bar where they serve Budweiser and/or Michelob and play country music 1999 and older with some decent pool tables I'M THERE! Oh and a mechanical bull and punching bag would be nice too :thumbup:

 

[GraybeardGhost]

There is a bar open in a town I drive through coming home from work, I went in there after a bad shift about a year ago. The DJ plays nothing but gangster rap and they only serve Bud Light (yuck!) and the one pool table they have isn't even level! Needless to say, I'll not be back. If I could find a good old dive bar where they serve Budweiser and/or Michelob and play country music 1999 and older with some decent pool tables I'M THERE! Oh and a mechanical bull and punching bag would be nice too :thumbup:

A punching bag in a bar? Isn't that what the other patrons are for?

 

[jc972]

A punching bag in a bar? Isn't that what the other patrons are for?

Ha ha ha yeah, but the bag don't call the cops

 

[MikeyC]

Ha ha ha yeah, but the bag don't call the cops

Unless the bag became...a sentient being.

 

[OceanMist]

Hello OceanMist, I just went to the bar with my sister this has been my first time I every been to a bar and I am 30 years old. I felt that bar are very loud I did not feel like I was able to talk to any women because of the loud noise . My sister had lots of friends that she was talking too. I see you brought up PUA people I was studying them not to long ago. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------I made a thread on hear about it asking every one hear how they felt about PUA people too. I am very interested in what you will find out PUA I could not make much sence from them they would tell that a women want a man who is pre selected by other women and the leader of men. O.k SO how is that suppost to help out a Virgin like me. I know your not suppost to act desperate for them for they want a man who is formerly with being on dates with women. But still if you don`t know how it feels then How can you pretend to be formerly with women. I did not get the chance to read a book so I don`t really know anything about how PUA work I only got the free information they give out.

The guys in the PUA threads, many of them talked about faking confidence. They said on the first girl you walk up to, it's not easy at all and it's very hard to act excited and confident. It makes sense that a guy would have to get warmed up. Even Mystery said that the first girl he talks to in a night, he gets scared of approaching her.

I still have more to learn on the PUA topic, but I am very interested in it and I think there are social abilities and things to say to women that can be very helpful to a shy guy like me.

About your virginity, what I did to lose mine when I was 27 years old was do online dating and a girl started talking to me and then I met her at her trailer and that night we had sex. It wasn't the greatest of experiences but it was something that I think every guy has to "get over with." It's best to take sex off the pedastal it's on when a guy is a virgin.

People may get mad when I say this, but I advise starting on women that aren't the prettiest if you catch my drift. It's a higher success rate and is a way to build your confidence. The women I've gotten with are not models, I'll put it that way.

Honestly I'm at a time in my life where I'm searching for women that I'm attracted to from a physical standpoint, because I have yet to find that from a woman that liked me intimately. The personalities on many of the women I've met were good, though.

 

[Richey]

I would probably go if a band was playing that I knew about, but not on a standard night, it's just too forced or something and you'd be standing around putting a lot of forced pressure on yourself to enjoy it. a lot of those places feel like people go for forced fun, I know that's not always the case. people go along and have fun and dance and stuff, and drink. A lot of the music they play at bars annoys me. I'm a real music geek and there is only so many times you can listen to chris brown or the same electro-dance hits they play each year. Are there any bars for indie rock fans? LoL. Anyway it's no biggie.

i'd go to a nice café or restaurant though and eat a meal. would go to concert as well and stand up to enjoy the fine fine music. maybe to see a sports event.

 

[Bo592]

The guys in the PUA threads, many of them talked about faking confidence. They said on the first girl you walk up to, it's not easy at all and it's very hard to act excited and confident. It makes sense that a guy would have to get warmed up. Even Mystery said that the first girl he talks to in a night, he gets scared of approaching her.

I still have more to learn on the PUA topic, but I am very interested in it and I think there are social abilities and things to say to women that can be very helpful to a shy guy like me.

About your virginity, what I did to lose mine when I was 27 years old was do online dating and a girl started talking to me and then I met her at her trailer and that night we had sex. It wasn't the greatest of experiences but it was something that I think every guy has to "get over with." It's best to take sex off the pedastal it's on when a guy is a virgin.

People may get mad when I say this, but I advise starting on women that aren't the prettiest if you catch my drift. It's a higher success rate and is a way to build your confidence. The women I've gotten with are not models, I'll put it that way.

Honestly I'm at a time in my life where I'm searching for women that I'm attracted to from a physical standpoint, because I have yet to find that from a woman that liked me intimately. The personalities on many of the women I've met were good, though.

How are you studying PUA ? I only study what I can find on youtube. Is there any good books out there on this. Form where I come form that what we call a practice girl.

 

[OceanMist]

How are you studying PUA ? I only study what I can find on youtube. Is there any good books out there on this. Form where I come form that what we call a practice girl.

The internet has quite a bit of info. Yep, youtube is good too, I've watched videos on there. I haven't done that much studying but I do know that Mystery, Neil Strauss and David Deangelo are guys that should be taken information from because they are the real thing.

I heard Mystery actually has charts of what statistically gives a man a better chance of getting a woman to like him.

 

[mikebird]

The world's turned upside-down since about 2005 for me

As a student I couldn't spend any time in a day without some time out in any bar when I knew everyone there. Whatever I said would make 'em laugh and they were glad I arrived. Some in a group might be a bit bored, twiddling their lighter around, waiting for someone to turn up. I liked 'em. They liked me. We all talked about the same stuff. No Friday or Saturday would have a last orders ring o' the bell at 2300. On until 2am or later. Loud.

Talking about whatever was on my mind always went very well with everyone!

Graduation: fun.

The mass of people at university dispersed elsewhere. I still live in town.

I still have met some people, but a lot less, and it's got worse.

No family ever liked me since I left for university. New life. No employer, employees, colleagues or staff liked me. We're aliens. Different world. Nobody wants to listen. Everybody I ever knew listened to me. Right friends. How do you bridge the gap? What is it? Am I too old?

I worked with people about 4 years younger. Can't stand 'em. Too juvenile. All my best girlfriends have been 4 years younger.

Sense of humour is incompatible. I can't define it. Office. Recruiters. Some are immature. Some are too mature. My school and uni were full of 100% same age. All best friends are same age. Praise to Facebook.

Seems a different world out there. It's not just your age. The era is important.

18-year-olds at the uni gym drive BMWs, Audis or posh superminis

I had a pushbike when I was a student

One person in a Private Healthcare office where I worked for a while had CDs with Earache music label. It got me thinking of Bolt Thrower. We had something to talk about. That is rare.

I went out on Friday nights at each company for years. One topic? No compatible material at all. I spent all my best years out at raves with people I knew. Bump into anyone in an office: nothing to talk about. Weather & 'how are you?' ain't for me. I tried making some coffees. They seemed to not want any. Anything on my mind doesn't fit. They don't seem entertained

Pushed away by the rest of the world wasn't what I expected.

I don't think there much chance to be compatible with anyone incompatible.

Recruiters seem to think they're the umpire of a boxing match. Or the bouncer?

I feel barred

 

[jc972]

I went to a bar alone earlier. It was almost empty. No good music, and only light beer so it SUCKED!