Women That Don't Want Children?

[Doubiousness]

When I was younger, I always thought I would have kids. But as I became older and my friends got married and I continued to always be alone. Maybe having kids is not worth it. Maybe I am supposed to be alone forever. I spent my whole life pushing people away because I always thought thought they had their own selfish motives. I grew up in household where you take care of number one, that includes yourself above your be wife or kids even. The part that scares me so much is I don't think I can change. I am always going to be the person that can't empathize with anyone. How can I even think of being a father with these thoughts in my head.

 

[destructoroflife]

Don't have children.

It doesn't matter how well you feel with your existence, that's not excuse for bringing another life.

You'll pass a lot to that child, including stress, diseases, etc.

More than 20 years ago, Mr. X and Ms. Y decided to have a child who is miserable today.

I wish I was never been born. Don't put another human being in that situation.

 

[MikeyC]

It doesn't matter how well you feel with your existence, that's not excuse for bringing another life.

You say this based on your own experiences. Having children is still the parents' choice. Are you angry at your parents for giving birth to you? I hope not.

 

[SilentBird]

I still have some resentment towards my parents for having me. I have decided to be a little easier on them. The world was much different when they had me. Also, they would not have known that I'd be so sensitive and prone to suffering.

I can take responsibility for my life. I could keep trying or give up.

I have some hope that some way I will find lasting peace. I don't believe in bringing children into this world for myself. So when I die my suffering will be over and I will not pass this onto a child.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

You're 23, which is way too young to be stressing over having children. I'm 31 and am still not sure I want them. I do, actually, but I don't want to pass my issues on to them and I want to be thoroughly well and be able to work and provide for my child/children both emotionally and physically. If I do ever have kids, I must be much better and I will probably adopt. Partly so I don't pass down my genes and partly because, by the time I am ready to have children, my eggs will probably be too dried up for me to biologically have them lol.

My advice to you is to not care what your friends want or what they are doing. Take care of yourself. Be selfish. You're young and it's okay. Even when you're not young, it's still okay. Work on yourself and someday you will get to a point where you know whether you want to have children or not. Or whether you should have children or not.

 

[planemo]

this is an interesting question. as a man, i don't want children, but if i were married, what would my wife want? would she accept that i wouldn't want children, and would i accept that she may want them? i guess it would have to be a considered decision either way. something that may take years to come to a proper conclusion. i suppose if i were a good potential husband i would have already stated why i feel i don't want to have children. rather than spring it upon her after we're married. this is all hypothetical of course, bit i guess since i'm not gonna marry i at least won't have that same pressure to reproduce as a woman might. generally society may think lowly of a woman who doesn't want to conceive. personally i don't. i don't even feel that a person (man or woman) should be pressurized to marry in the first place. so if a woman has her reasons, as i have mine, it's not a problem to me.

 

[Nanita]

Most of the time, I´m thinking that I don´t want children.
I just think it´s way too much for me. Not so much the daily care of a child, more like everything else that comes with it; going places, contacting people/schools, getting practical things done, blah blah.

But the 2 times I have been in a long term relationship, to my surprise I actually started to have feelings and thoughts about having children, and so did the guys. I guess that is the whole trick nature or love does to some of us "2 people love each other so much that they want to reproduce".

 

[Luka]

I think it's your choice tbh and if anyone tells you otherwise I think they're being too close minded. My reasons to not want kids in the future is also the huge responsibility but giving birth also sounds really scary...

 

[cowboyup]

I wasn't sure where to put this thread, but this seemed like the best place!


I've suffered from low-confidence almost all my life, and have always been a people-pleaser, unwilling to voice my opinions and always placing the needs of others before my own.
Any thoughts...?

I am the exact same way. Unfortunately it has not gone too well. Sometimes when you are helping others and NOT putting yourself first, you are being more harmful than helpful.

No, I do not want kids. My 'cut off age' was 35. I am now in my 40s. Even if I could have kids, there are too many things that I need to deal with (my own issues) without dragging kids into the mix. I am in early menopause so I guess it's a good thing - I suppose one could say these things work out per one's situation, who knows!

 

[Lamb]

I don't want kids either. Somehow though, I have a feeling I might end up with someone who does. (That's where compromise or a lack thereof comes in) Various reasons for not wanting them. Watching my parents have kids when they didn't really feel cut out for it in the first place is beyond me.

 

[OceanMist]

I like to ramble with issues like the one that is brought up in this thread.

My question to society is why do you want children?

I'm one of the minorities (minority as in one of the people that actually doesn't want children ever) in this world and whenver I've told people I don't want children the responses have been ridiculous. they act like I just said I want to kill someone.

You guys should have seen me go at it with this divorced lady once when I was in high school. She was one of my friend's moms and I was a guest at their house for basketball. Anyway, there was a kid in the room so the normal crap happened, the woman brings up how I don't talk enough (her opinion) and I say, so what? I don't like to talk much.

Then she says, "Women don't like guys that don't talk. You won't be able to get a g/f or get married like that." And I say, "Great! I don't want to get married." Which by the way, I still don't want to get married and have become more convinced that I'm better off without marriage.

Then she says, "Well don't you ever want any kids?" I say, "No. Why would I want kids?"
Then she starts taking the victim approach saying stuff like "You don't like my son?" It was rather pathetic if you ask me. To degrade me for not wanting kids that is.

Anyway, my point is that people like the woman that said that stuff, they are very common and are everywhere. There is something wrong with society, and it needs to be fixed.

People who don't want kids are not bad people. When are all these "things have to be our way" society people going to stop being so freaking narrow-minded? Not all children turn out to be saints.....some turn out to be murderers, criminals or just plain a-holes. There are some people that just shouldn't be having kids. I am one of them.

 

[Hellhound]

^ Some old ladies give me weird looks because at my age I still don't have any children.

They aren't malicious about it, they just find it strange. They all had their kids and granchildren. Maybe they're old fashioned.

 

[Richey]

There was a documentary on just before essentially the point was that none of this really matters anyway. Meaning we are insignificant x 100000.. compared to the Universe and time. Be happy with whatever decision you make and block out any gossip or judgements from other people. Because their opinion does not matter.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

I'm a massive pedophobe as well as having mental health problems, it probably won't happen for me Kitties are just as good though.

 

[Diend]

I don't think it is selfish to not want children if you think you won't raise them well. People with mental and physical disabilities are not pressured to have children. If you are not ready to have children, you should be willing to make the compromise of having your friends being more distant and your husband being disappointed. You have to compromise.

 

[destructoroflife]

You say this based on your own experiences. Having children is still the parents' choice. Are you angry at your parents for giving birth to you? I hope not.

Well, what I say is not a law, so yeah, it is my experience/opinion.


I will always think you're a dick if you bring a life without consenting first (which is impossible) to this pos place.


It's something I will never forget, like one of my greatest obligations. Even with my ocassional and rare "happy moments", I'm pretty sure I'd never want a child.

 

[mikebird]

Big Issue

Humankind evolution in itself. Homo sapiens are different from other mammals

I put my faith in the condom to live for oneself. The Titanic movie reinforced my standpoint.

Before that, I saw myself as a burden on my elderly parents and surrounding family - the generations before and after. Not making me would have led to better lives in terms of money and population, space, stress and energy use on a grand scale.

 

[MikeyC]

I will always think you're a dick if you bring a life without consenting first (which is impossible) to this pos place.

You can't consent to a child that doesn't exist yet.

I can see you're vehemently against having children, which is fine. As long as you're not bitter at those who do, even those that bought you here.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Great info Nate, very informative thank you



I'm not sure that it's possible to make accurate projects of future population...too many variables.

I'm not sure the U.S. data is an accurate reflection of the picture in the West. I would think that the U.S. has seen a rise in population as a result of the global recession. Whereas in Ireland, we have mass emigration happening, most people leaving are in their 20s and they leave for the UK or Australia and America and because they are in their childbearing years, they are contributing to the population where they go but not at home. At home, the population is falling. That's just this tiny Country, I imagine that it is the same in many other places. I think that generally in the West the population is re-dispersing.

Emigration rises to record high | Generation Emigration

I've been trying to let this go, but I can't. It's an important issue to me, and keeps niggling in the back of my mind.

You can't make completely accurate projections of future population, but the methods they're using are pretty sound. Even if that weren't the case, when the population has gone up with every single count, it's not going too far out on a limb to predict that it will continue to go up.

I haven't seen data on any nation's population indicating a decline--including Ireland. CSO QuickTables - CNA13 - Population 1901 - 2011

Population can only be redistributed if it's going down in some places and up in others.

Again, I'd like to see any link supporting the idea that overpopulation is nonsense and not a real threat. I searched and found a few sites making such claims--they were full of misleading and sometimes just plain false information. Intentional deceptions.

 

[jaim38]

Population explosion or not, I don't want to give birth to any children. Even if the devil offered to make my kid king of the world and me queen, it's still no deal.