What kind of boyfriend/girlfriend were you?

[Shyangel]

I have just been thinking about my recent break up with my X and this thread came to mind.

Do you think you were very loving? Compassionate? protective? A combination?
If you haven't had a boyfriend/girlfriend yet, tell us what kind of one you think you would be, I'm interested to know.

I'll start.

I was VERY affectionate and loving. I would always be sitting on his lap or hugging him, hardly a moment went by when I was with him that I wasn't in physical contact with him...That could be taken as clingy, which I would say I was. I was also needy, and jealous, hence, why he's my X. I hope to fix those things before I get into another relationship.

Okay, you guys are up next!

Go!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[twiggle]

In my last relationship:

I was understanding. I was relaxed. I didn't expect much from him in the way of gifts and treats. I didn't put him under any pressure to meet my family. I cared about him.

But the difference? I wanted him to have independence. He didn't want me to have any. He wanted to be with me all the time and hated me talking to other boys, or even my girl friends, if it meant I wasn't talking to him. He got angry at me for having a life away for him. He made me feel guilty for how messed up he was in the head. He implied that he was going to kill himself if I didn't stay with him. All he wanted to do was show me off to his friends (not that I'm anything special, it was probably just the fact that hey, he had a girlfriend!). He told intimate details to his friends who shouted those things at me in the street; and then tried to pretend that he hadn't. He was a manipulative control-freak and I should never have given it a shot at friendship a few years later. He was the most self-centred person I've ever met but worse than that, he tried to pretend that he was anything but,
Eurgh.
Maybe I shouldn't have answered this thread. But it's felt good to get it out.

I'm much more picky now when it comes to guys. They need to let me have my independence and in return I'll give them the same as well as lots of love and caring. I won't ever be a control-freak but I'll still always be there for them.

 

[KiaKaha]

I am considerate, I think of her feelings first. I am also protective...sometimes a little jealous. Caring, kind, supportive, loyal and I am good in bed (but arent we all right?)

The bad?

I can be a bit selfish with my time which comes off as a bit neglectful. I need my space... I dont like being cuddled when I go to sleep. I need to do things my own way and I dont really do clingy.

My shyness has ruined relationships before, particularly when it comes to bonding with her friends and other people in her life.

 

[Nanita]

I was VERY affectionate and loving. I would always be sitting on his lap or hugging him, hardly a moment went by when I was with him that I wasn't in physical contact with him...That could be taken as clingy, which I would say I was. I was also needy, and jealous, hence, why he's my X. I hope to fix those things before I get into another relationship.

Well I think you sound like a lovely girlfriend!
Yeah it´s true that being needy can get too much, I have experienced that both me and a partner were getting more n more needy and clingy, which got too much for both of us... lol

In my last relationship:

I was understanding. I was relaxed. I didn't expect much from him in the way of gifts and treats. I didn't put him under any pressure to meet my family. I cared about him.

But the difference? I wanted him to have independence. He didn't want me to have any. He wanted to be with me all the time and hated me talking to other boys, or even my girl friends, if it meant I wasn't talking to him. He got angry at me for having a life away for him. He made me feel guilty for how messed up he was in the head. He implied that he was going to kill himself if I didn't stay with him. All he wanted to do was show me off to his friends (not that I'm anything special, it was probably just the fact that hey, he had a girlfriend!). He told intimate details to his friends who shouted those things at me in the street; and then tried to pretend that he hadn't. He was a manipulative control-freak and I should never have given it a shot at friendship a few years later. He was the most self-centred person I've ever met but worse than that, he tried to pretend that he was anything but,
Eurgh.

Jesus, that sounds pretty awful! That must have been tough
Reminds me a bit of my ex, also very very self centered and blaming me for all sorts of stuff.

The bad?

I can be a bit selfish with my time which comes off as a bit neglectful. I need my space... I dont like being cuddled when I go to sleep.

My shyness has ruined relationships before, particularly when it comes to bonding with people in her life.

I also need my space... I feel like I´m being invaded if I don´t have enough personal space and freedom.
And my Social phobia/shyness has definitely been a big issue in relationships, ans as you said, especially bonding with people in my partners life = very difficult....

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

hmm... the kind who would do everything so that he wouldn't have to, even if I were already bone tired.
Loved to do all the cooking and cleaning, provided more than my 'share' most times, laid back and calm; never yelled in a disagreement but talked it over and came to a conclusion based on fact moreso than feeling.
Was not into PDA but extremely passionate behind closed doors.
Loved him unconditionally and voiced when I was upset about something or dissatisfied and urged him to be open with his thoughts and feelings; as I would never be angry.
Not jealous. We both had our space.
I didn't mind being away for months on end.
I put my fears aside if I could hold onto the back of his shirt and follow him through any crowd.
Surprised him with gifts on a regular basis.
Spontaneous, physical, funny, kind, supportive, loyal and confident.
Alot of laughter and wrestling.
Shared alot of dreams.

...I guess.

 

[Bo592]

I would love having a purpose. I would love having a reason to live and do thing for someone else other than me. I would love the fact that someone actually care about me. I don`t drank, but I would if she want me to.I just don`t won`t the relationship to start with alcohol because most relationship start and end because of alcohol. I would love to try different thing with her. I would like some time for myself but would be ready when every she ready for me to be romantic. but I would still like to surprise her with something special for her every once in a while.

 

[Kinetik]

I've been in quite a few relationships and I think I've been called everything under the sun at one point or another. Exes have accused me of being cold, indifferent, unromantic, and having a short fuse. One girl said I have a chip on my shoulder, another said I was inflexible, uncompromising, intolerant, and overly critical.

The thing is, when I manage to have a good relationship (my current one included) I don't hear any of these bad things. It's a complete turnaround - all of a sudden, I'm wonderful, supportive, intelligent, devoted, respectful, and I do everything right. That's how powerful good compatibility is. That's why when people say they need to work on themselves or change things about who they are, I'm the first to tell them otherwise, because I know what it's like to be the same person and be viewed a hundred different ways. All you need to do is find the best fit for you.

 

[Section_31]

im going to use my wife in this since for obvious reasons i dont have a gf

I need to feel needed by her, even if its just somthing stupid and little like opening a jam jar (she can do it on her own but she always asks me to do it, makes me feel needed and appreciated).

I love to plan random suprises for her just for no reason because i love her. If i know shes having a crapchute of a day i like to make sure i have her favourite treat waiting for her when she gets home, like cheesecake or somthing.

I dont care what else is going on in my life at the moment, e.g work, school, family, whatever. If things for whatever reason are not ok, then everything else to me ceases to matter. She comes first, before anything else in the world. Period. Possibly excalamation mark.

I love to give her candle lit backrubs and foot rubs with muscle relaxing warming oil, she doesnt drive and does alot of walking all day so its no suprise to me shes exhausted.

I love to go shopping, and when shes about to pay for somthing occasionally ill butt in and use my own debit card or somthing, much to her protests, to which i tell her shes too pretty to spend her own money or somthing along those lines. I dont do it often, she likes her independence and i want her to have that, i just enjoy doing that every now and then .

I try to listen as much as possible when she has a problem. Its only recently ive realized im too much of a fixer, i try too much to solve everything and save the world when sometimes all she wants is a sounding board, which im now doing my best to be.

I like to talk things out, im a problem solver, and this is a big new step, but its somthign i can do.

Whenever she cries i want to change the world so it wont hurt her anymore.

When she was visiting her parents once, i was supposed to be picking her up that night and coming home that same day. She had told me she really missed me. SO i went to bed, got up at 2 am, drove for 8 hours and rolled into her parents place by 10 am, crawled into bed with her and woke her up with her favourite coffee. She thought she was dreaming at first and couldnt believe i was there, LOL, was so worth it.

I love to open doors and pull out chairs, hold her jacket for her to get into or get out of.

I always tell her i love her, every morning, every evening, whenever were about to part ways for the day or going to sleep, i make sure to always take a few seconds, kiss her, tell her i love her, and to think about me.

ok, this whole post probably sounds pretty sappy and sugary......hey you asked!

 

[Azael]

I was very loving, affectionate and well mannered. My flaw was that I was a doormat and chose someone who was very self-centered. I ended up feeling like nothing, being used and abused. I have only myself to blame though, a lesson learnt.

 

[Hoppy]

I am perfect, no girlfriend ever complained............

 

[spring]

unfortunately my recent relationships have ended,with me cheating and then confessing,so I guess I was not a good girl friend.
at the other hand,I'm kind and supportive;but also jealous and self-centered.
I'm also very moody and needy,although i never raise my voice or treat my partner with disrespect(at least intentionally).
my lack of confidence usually has a negative impact on my relationships,as I try to hide my insecurities.
summing up,I don't think I'm a bad person completely,but there are some things that you can't undo,and they will change the way you see yourself forever.

 

[lonely_drummer]

I have only been in this situation a couple times but I've noticed that first off Im just a very understanding person. People are full of emotions all the time and they're flying around everywhere, people are bound to screw up and misinterpret things from other peoples actions. Most of the time when people flip out or get upset, its usually just from a misinterpretation of their world around them. Like most of us, when we're in a relationship and the other person is upset about anything (they might not even be upset, you just interpreted them as being upset) and your mind will begin to race. What did I do? What should I do? However, to get to my point. I've always just tried to understand the person. Also, I am a very respectful person. I try and look out of their eyes and try to understand how they feel so I can more so understand what they are going through. mostly, to put it to simple terms, I'd just say I'm a peacekeeper in a relationship haha

 

[Kiwong]

I've never been in a relationship. No one will ever have the misfortune of finding out what sort of partner I might've been.

 

[Shyangel]

Well I think you sound like a lovely girlfriend!
Yeah it´s true that being needy can get too much, I have experienced that both me and a partner were getting more n more needy and clingy, which got too much for both of us... lol

Thanks, Nanita. ^.^ I hope that's true.


A little more about me...

I really loved him and I think I showed it and made him feel loved...
I made him feel good about himself because he made me happy and I always wanted to be with him. I loved buying him surprises and making him feel special.....I loved him, that was the only thing I did right, you need more then that for a relationship to last.

What I did wrong...
I was insecure, and made him feel guilty for doing things without me.
I could be a bitch. I nagged him about everything I was unhappy about.
I could go on and on and on....But at the end of the day I realized I was wrong and I apologize and showed him I loved him with all my heart, it didn't matter if I showed/told him I loved him, not if I would keep acting like that.
I really loved him, I wish I wasn't such a bitch.

 

[nafadda]

I guess it would depend on which X you asked..some may think I was great and some may think I was a terrible one.
Who knows how we look through others eyes at times.

 

[coyote]

the general consensus seems to be that i'm quite good in bed

beyond that, the opinions seem to differ wildly

 

[Kat]

I have only had one I’m still with them it’s our 5th year together. We are
opposite in many things but we share a lot of interests.

Me: loyal, sensitive, passive have a tendency to be jealous, I like my space and can get a little bitchy if I don’t get it, but I am a bit clingy in situations I’m not comfortable in, caring don’t complain much but try to be understanding and supportive.

Him: loyal, intelligent, sensitive, passionate he's a bit of a loud mouth but he makes me laugh, I would consider him an extrovert but I think he is as insecure about something’s as I am and we both don’t have a lot of friends nor spend a lot of time with them. He gets cabin fever I don’t.

We have been through some rocky things due to our insecurities but overtime we have improved.

 

[Arise87]

im going to use my wife in this since for obvious reasons i dont have a gf

I need to feel needed by her, even if its just somthing stupid and little like opening a jam jar (she can do it on her own but she always asks me to do it, makes me feel needed and appreciated).

I love to plan random suprises for her just for no reason because i love her. If i know shes having a crapchute of a day i like to make sure i have her favourite treat waiting for her when she gets home, like cheesecake or somthing.

I dont care what else is going on in my life at the moment, e.g work, school, family, whatever. If things for whatever reason are not ok, then everything else to me ceases to matter. She comes first, before anything else in the world. Period. Possibly excalamation mark.

I love to give her candle lit backrubs and foot rubs with muscle relaxing warming oil, she doesnt drive and does alot of walking all day so its no suprise to me shes exhausted.

I love to go shopping, and when shes about to pay for somthing occasionally ill butt in and use my own debit card or somthing, much to her protests, to which i tell her shes too pretty to spend her own money or somthing along those lines. I dont do it often, she likes her independence and i want her to have that, i just enjoy doing that every now and then .

I try to listen as much as possible when she has a problem. Its only recently ive realized im too much of a fixer, i try too much to solve everything and save the world when sometimes all she wants is a sounding board, which im now doing my best to be.

I like to talk things out, im a problem solver, and this is a big new step, but its somthign i can do.

Whenever she cries i want to change the world so it wont hurt her anymore.

When she was visiting her parents once, i was supposed to be picking her up that night and coming home that same day. She had told me she really missed me. SO i went to bed, got up at 2 am, drove for 8 hours and rolled into her parents place by 10 am, crawled into bed with her and woke her up with her favourite coffee. She thought she was dreaming at first and couldnt believe i was there, LOL, was so worth it.

I love to open doors and pull out chairs, hold her jacket for her to get into or get out of.

I always tell her i love her, every morning, every evening, whenever were about to part ways for the day or going to sleep, i make sure to always take a few seconds, kiss her, tell her i love her, and to think about me.

ok, this whole post probably sounds pretty sappy and sugary......hey you asked!

Wow, that's awesome. Kudos to you for being a good hubby. With statistics that say married couples have a 50/50 chance of divorce, I find it refreshing to hear another happily married peep is keeping their relationship strong, being considerate, and giving their spouse lots of love and attention. Don't change... ever! And, keep up the good work!

 

[TheFurryConfused]

Neither, being an aromantic asexual.

I've never really had a proper boyfriend or girlfriend. I had some friends in nursery who got a little too close to me, but I always saw them as friends.

 

[OceanMist]

I was a good listener and tried to be spontaneous at times. She didn't like that I was shy and she didn't like some of my friends.

It's tough to remember everything because it was so long ago. I do know she got rid of me because I'm shy and she was outgoing, and I wasn't the alpha male that she wanted. She hated that I didn't ask to meet her friends. Of course, she waited until she broke up with me to tell me all my flaws that she thinks I have and mistakes I made in her eyes.

It crushed me at the time because it was my first relationship. It wouldn't have been such a big deal if I wasn't so shy because I could have just moved on the next woman but that never happened. She broke up with me through a phone call, which ticked me off as well. I blew up on her when she did that. I probably wouldn't have even cared if I wasn't shy because then I would have known I could just get another woman. I hate my shyness. I used to have even less confidence than I do now, back then.