What kind of boyfriend/girlfriend were you?
- Thread starter Shyangel
- Start date
Shyangel
Well-known member
da_illest101
Well-known member
it lasted a week and I had crazy panic attacks, so i'm not to sure what type of bf I was
goodways
Member
Most of those little interactions have become lost moments in time...
Perhaps it is that way for all of us who have loved and lost. After years pass and pain fades, all the little memories, both good and bad, just start to fade away...
For me, at least, only a small number of things remain, snapshots of a life I used to live. I can remember moments of happiness, moments of rage, and sadness too. But they don't connect to a larger narrative like they used to. A lot of the pain I felt for years afterwards just doesn't make sense to keep holding onto anymore. I figured that out a while back. Why waste our precious time thinking about what once was, or even might have been? She is gone forever, I have moved on, and all that is left is a kind of, emptiness...a void, if you will. She may not have created it, but I feel it nonetheless. But I'm looking to fill it with some kind of replacement. I haven't quite been able to find out what that's going to be just yet, but it probably won't be another woman. Too much has happened there for me to believe anything could ever be different...
I believe I was a good person, though I had a tendency to lie about myself. I was affectionate and generous, thoughtful and considerate. What I was not was what she wanted most. She wanted me to let her mold me into something closer to what she wanted, and move away from the things she didn't like about me, mainly my friends (none of whom liked her), and my smoking. She was never really ok with it. Understandable, I suppose.
Still. Not even my mother liked her, and we dated for about 4 years. Actually my mother hasn't really liked ANY of my girlfriends, which is funny because she LOVES my brother's girlfriend. And now that I've decided that I don't really WANT to find another one, my family can focus on my brother's burgeoning family and ignore me! Which is great, because I hate expectations.
I probably would be a good boyfriend in the future...theoretically at least, if the girl was comfortable with the kind of person I am, smoker and all. I can be what a woman wants. I just don't WANT to be. Happier on my own. That much is true, at least for me.
Perhaps it is that way for all of us who have loved and lost. After years pass and pain fades, all the little memories, both good and bad, just start to fade away...
For me, at least, only a small number of things remain, snapshots of a life I used to live. I can remember moments of happiness, moments of rage, and sadness too. But they don't connect to a larger narrative like they used to. A lot of the pain I felt for years afterwards just doesn't make sense to keep holding onto anymore. I figured that out a while back. Why waste our precious time thinking about what once was, or even might have been? She is gone forever, I have moved on, and all that is left is a kind of, emptiness...a void, if you will. She may not have created it, but I feel it nonetheless. But I'm looking to fill it with some kind of replacement. I haven't quite been able to find out what that's going to be just yet, but it probably won't be another woman. Too much has happened there for me to believe anything could ever be different...
I believe I was a good person, though I had a tendency to lie about myself. I was affectionate and generous, thoughtful and considerate. What I was not was what she wanted most. She wanted me to let her mold me into something closer to what she wanted, and move away from the things she didn't like about me, mainly my friends (none of whom liked her), and my smoking. She was never really ok with it. Understandable, I suppose.
Still. Not even my mother liked her, and we dated for about 4 years. Actually my mother hasn't really liked ANY of my girlfriends, which is funny because she LOVES my brother's girlfriend. And now that I've decided that I don't really WANT to find another one, my family can focus on my brother's burgeoning family and ignore me! Which is great, because I hate expectations.
I probably would be a good boyfriend in the future...theoretically at least, if the girl was comfortable with the kind of person I am, smoker and all. I can be what a woman wants. I just don't WANT to be. Happier on my own. That much is true, at least for me.
ChrisN
Active member
Sometimes that's the best kind.
But if I were a boyfriend, I think I'll be perfect!
