Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
They may not understand it, but they should at least respect it.
The Confession Booth
- Thread starter BlackPuma
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They may not understand it, but they should at least respect it.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Whenever I feel like this, I try to remind myself that these things are relative. Yes, there are people out there with terrible lives, which are far worse than my own, but there are also a lot of people living far better lives than me. I can only really focus on my own situation, and not beat myself up by comparing my situation to that of others.
There are many people who we consider as being good who do things allot worse for their own good. Also many people without SA tell this kind of lies, but they don't even think and care about others. The lies you (and I) tell are not intended to make people feel bad. The fact that you know that you might hurt people with it means that you care about their feelings which is a good thing! You dont WANT to hurt them.
I lied to my sister that i couldnt make it to her graduation. I said that i had an important exam that day. That was actually true but i could have made it easily. My own sisters graduation........... I cant tell you how depressed i still feel about this......... And the thing that actually hurts the most is that i have the feeling that she was actually happy i couldnt come, because the way i make people uncomfortable when i'm anxious. I even bought her a present for graduating which i didnt even have the guts to give her yet ( how stupid am i really, its a ****ing present, why should that be hard???? ). I love her so much but i cant even show it to her and instead i make her feel like crap
(((((((((Well here goes some :
- I have an inner hate to anything commercial, like commercials on TV, I just know it's all lies, photoshoped crap and woman, and faked "studies". When I see someone with a tie, I automatically hear the inner voice "There, another ******* who studied years on how he could make people believe all those lies, and still feel great about himself!".
- When there are people around me who are way too overwhelming, hyper-active, I feel hate inside, I would never hurt them, but I feel anger boiling, so I have to get away from them as soon as possible, even when that is not always possible.
- I avoid people who are always positive about anything, because I AM a pessimist pure-sang, inside I scream "Open your eyes bitch, and look at the world instead of shutting them.
- I believe that for any rich bastards there have to 10 poor souls in this world, that's what commercialism and reality is.
- My sister told me, while driving me in her brand new Mercedes : "You can never be happy when you're a materialist, I feel pity for those that have to buy a new Mercedes every year"
I just don't feel good when in a car that takes the place of 3 others, even If I would be a multi-millionaire I would feel way better in a small, cheap car. But who knows, If I was self-confident, perhaps I would be a complete different person, which I honestly DON'T want to be.
- I have a hate toward our western society and having to fit in those "glittering" standards, I just believe all our materialistic and gadget-driven lifestyle IS the biggest cause of (unneeded) "electronic" stress and exclusion, yet I confess I can't live without a computer and a TV.
- I have an inner hate to anything commercial, like commercials on TV, I just know it's all lies, photoshoped crap and woman, and faked "studies". When I see someone with a tie, I automatically hear the inner voice "There, another ******* who studied years on how he could make people believe all those lies, and still feel great about himself!".
- When there are people around me who are way too overwhelming, hyper-active, I feel hate inside, I would never hurt them, but I feel anger boiling, so I have to get away from them as soon as possible, even when that is not always possible.
- I avoid people who are always positive about anything, because I AM a pessimist pure-sang, inside I scream "Open your eyes bitch, and look at the world instead of shutting them.
- I believe that for any rich bastards there have to 10 poor souls in this world, that's what commercialism and reality is.
- My sister told me, while driving me in her brand new Mercedes : "You can never be happy when you're a materialist, I feel pity for those that have to buy a new Mercedes every year"
I just don't feel good when in a car that takes the place of 3 others, even If I would be a multi-millionaire I would feel way better in a small, cheap car. But who knows, If I was self-confident, perhaps I would be a complete different person, which I honestly DON'T want to be.
- I have a hate toward our western society and having to fit in those "glittering" standards, I just believe all our materialistic and gadget-driven lifestyle IS the biggest cause of (unneeded) "electronic" stress and exclusion, yet I confess I can't live without a computer and a TV.
Confessions can be a dangerous game. Still keep mind what is said.
Confession, I have already done so here. I do not feel that way anymore. Better I have become.
Confession, take the Magnum, gun it, look for cops. Speed limit signs are just suggestions.
Confession, I have already done so here. I do not feel that way anymore. Better I have become.
Confession, take the Magnum, gun it, look for cops. Speed limit signs are just suggestions.
Ah, yeah. That's the way.
Bring life to lifeless.
185KM. I have that right?
This on a highway?
I dare not go that fast. Ontario, over the limit by 50KM. Roadside suspension, car towed. Pay lots of cash.
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
Possible injury or death. No thanks.
Forgotten-Children
Well-known member
-*cough* Well... Let's just say that I look at hentai. (Hey.. I'm still a virgin. :/ ) And for those that don't know what hentai is, you're probably too young to know. *sweatdrop* Added onto that I think I'm more pervy than my boyfriend because my mind tends to always be in the gutter. >3> I mean.. I'm a girl who giggles at the word "boobs".
-Added to the hentai bit, I GUESS you can call me a furry because I look at Pokemon hentai. >3> I can't help it... Mewtwo and Lucario are hot to me... And if this counts, Wizardmon and Impmon from Digimon are pretty nice to look at.. >3>
- I'm addicted to drawing (if that's possible). I mean, I could spend all hours of the night using MS Paint and GIMP and not even think about going to bed. I guess this is because of my Asperger Syndrome for my obsessivness.
-I have a bad habit of humoring people when I know the thing they're showing me is something I won't like because I don't have the guts to tell them I'm not interested. This has happened recently because there's been this 14 year old girl coming over to my house. (she knows my little brother but wants to be friends with me; a 20 year old. >-> ) For the past couple days, she's been coming over for my computer because apparently she's been grounded from Facebook so she comes into my house WITHOUT EVEN KNOCKING and boots me off my computer to either look at Facebook, gets WAY too close to me when drawing/playing ROMs, or just to show me things on MTV which I never watch that channel... >->
-A lot of the time, I usually put myself down saying to myself that I'll never get a job and'll be eventually kicked out to the streets (because recently my parents implied that if I didn't get a job soon, they'll kick me out.)
-I. Can't. Stop. Drinking. Tea. (I know I need water but I always go for the pitcher >->)
- I curse a lot more than I did when I was a teen but I think that's because I discovered Mario Kart. Anyone who's played this should know what I'm talking about.
-Back in 2006, I had a friend that I met on the internet and he had Bi-Polar disorder. One day he disappeared and eventually as time went on, I begane to blaim myself for him leaving. Like if I said something that hurt him to make him leave, or worse, kill himself. This through me into me very first depression where I started to have suicidal thoughts. Instead of just killing myself, I felt so guilty that I thought of torturing myself so one day I got the idea of starving myself completely; no food or water. Eventually my will gave out so I scarfed down two bags of cookies and chugged a soda. It took me a year to get out of that depression but ever since then, my outlook on life has been very gloomy. I mean, I don't think I was near as happy as I could have been as a kid but I still think I was a little happier when I was younger compared to how I am now.
- Because of the incident in '06, I lost faith in God completely but have never told my parents who are Catholic (they still don't know). Really the only one in my family that knows that I don't believe in God anymore other than my boyfriend is my little sister and I only told her is because I know she won't tell.
- (Dunno if this is worth really confessing. It's just something about me that's weird.) I pace to music in order to think. And if I have to sit down (like when I was in school) I HAD to tap my foot otherwise my mind would go blank. I'm serious. I have to constantly be moving inorder to keep my mind going.
- (Another weird thing about me) I constantly have visions of bad things happening like seeing cars driving towards me to hit me or things like that. I had them worse when I was in college which caused me to have suicidal thoughts again, that's why I dropped out. I needed those thoughts to stop otherwise I would've killed myself. I know it. :/
- Whenever I'm in a REALLY depressing mood, I have a Bulbasaur plushie that I squeeze hard because he can relieve my tension because his bulb is very firm.
- My hygiene isn't the greatest, but I blaim that because I was picked on 1 too many times where I just gave up on making friends because even when I was "clean" I was still treated like crap so I just didn't really care anymore. I'm trying to get a better at taking care of myself because eventually I have to get back into public. Not to mention I wanna be better for my hubby.
- My emotions are extremely weird. I can't cry to movies at all. I mean... I don't even flinch to Mufasa's death and I can actually eat without wanting to vomit when watching Elfen Lied with all the blood and gore flying across the screen. I mean, I think it's because subconciously I know they're shows and aren't real. But I can cry at the drop of a hat whith a real situation. :/
-Added to the hentai bit, I GUESS you can call me a furry because I look at Pokemon hentai. >3> I can't help it... Mewtwo and Lucario are hot to me... And if this counts, Wizardmon and Impmon from Digimon are pretty nice to look at.. >3>
- I'm addicted to drawing (if that's possible). I mean, I could spend all hours of the night using MS Paint and GIMP and not even think about going to bed. I guess this is because of my Asperger Syndrome for my obsessivness.
-I have a bad habit of humoring people when I know the thing they're showing me is something I won't like because I don't have the guts to tell them I'm not interested. This has happened recently because there's been this 14 year old girl coming over to my house. (she knows my little brother but wants to be friends with me; a 20 year old. >-> ) For the past couple days, she's been coming over for my computer because apparently she's been grounded from Facebook so she comes into my house WITHOUT EVEN KNOCKING and boots me off my computer to either look at Facebook, gets WAY too close to me when drawing/playing ROMs, or just to show me things on MTV which I never watch that channel... >->
-A lot of the time, I usually put myself down saying to myself that I'll never get a job and'll be eventually kicked out to the streets (because recently my parents implied that if I didn't get a job soon, they'll kick me out.)
-I. Can't. Stop. Drinking. Tea. (I know I need water but I always go for the pitcher >->)
- I curse a lot more than I did when I was a teen but I think that's because I discovered Mario Kart. Anyone who's played this should know what I'm talking about.
-Back in 2006, I had a friend that I met on the internet and he had Bi-Polar disorder. One day he disappeared and eventually as time went on, I begane to blaim myself for him leaving. Like if I said something that hurt him to make him leave, or worse, kill himself. This through me into me very first depression where I started to have suicidal thoughts. Instead of just killing myself, I felt so guilty that I thought of torturing myself so one day I got the idea of starving myself completely; no food or water. Eventually my will gave out so I scarfed down two bags of cookies and chugged a soda. It took me a year to get out of that depression but ever since then, my outlook on life has been very gloomy. I mean, I don't think I was near as happy as I could have been as a kid but I still think I was a little happier when I was younger compared to how I am now.
- Because of the incident in '06, I lost faith in God completely but have never told my parents who are Catholic (they still don't know). Really the only one in my family that knows that I don't believe in God anymore other than my boyfriend is my little sister and I only told her is because I know she won't tell.
- (Dunno if this is worth really confessing. It's just something about me that's weird.) I pace to music in order to think. And if I have to sit down (like when I was in school) I HAD to tap my foot otherwise my mind would go blank. I'm serious. I have to constantly be moving inorder to keep my mind going.
- (Another weird thing about me) I constantly have visions of bad things happening like seeing cars driving towards me to hit me or things like that. I had them worse when I was in college which caused me to have suicidal thoughts again, that's why I dropped out. I needed those thoughts to stop otherwise I would've killed myself. I know it. :/
- Whenever I'm in a REALLY depressing mood, I have a Bulbasaur plushie that I squeeze hard because he can relieve my tension because his bulb is very firm.
- My hygiene isn't the greatest, but I blaim that because I was picked on 1 too many times where I just gave up on making friends because even when I was "clean" I was still treated like crap so I just didn't really care anymore. I'm trying to get a better at taking care of myself because eventually I have to get back into public. Not to mention I wanna be better for my hubby.
- My emotions are extremely weird. I can't cry to movies at all. I mean... I don't even flinch to Mufasa's death and I can actually eat without wanting to vomit when watching Elfen Lied with all the blood and gore flying across the screen. I mean, I think it's because subconciously I know they're shows and aren't real. But I can cry at the drop of a hat whith a real situation. :/
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agoraphobickatie
Well-known member
forgotten-children, that's a hella ton of confessions, points for you!!
on the speeding confessions.... my two tickets are 71 in a 45 and 60 in a 30 (mph) ..wtf!? couldn't they have caught me doing like.. 15 over? those tickets were insanely expensive =/ huge pain in the ass! luckily, i never got caught in high school/college when i'd drive 120mph on the interstate every morning trying to get to school in time ...moral of the story, early classes are dangerous!
on the speeding confessions.... my two tickets are 71 in a 45 and 60 in a 30 (mph) ..wtf!? couldn't they have caught me doing like.. 15 over? those tickets were insanely expensive =/ huge pain in the ass! luckily, i never got caught in high school/college when i'd drive 120mph on the interstate every morning trying to get to school in time ...moral of the story, early classes are dangerous!
kihira
1
I'd rather people be sitting and thinking that doing without thinking. There are stories of Buddhist monks who shut themselves in caves and meditate for months.
Square_Eyes
Well-known member
I made him a promise, at his own funeral, and I broke it. I will never forgive myself.
I still haven't done much with regard to eco projects, and I feel very guilty about it. I feel soo powerless about these things sometimes, and like I don't know enough to do things - or know too much??
Haven't painted the windows yet either, and now it's rainy-grr?? What to do??
square_eyes, can you still stay true to the spirit of the promise somehow, or make amends or something?
Haven't painted the windows yet either, and now it's rainy-grr?? What to do??
square_eyes, can you still stay true to the spirit of the promise somehow, or make amends or something?
petrified eyes
Well-known member
When I hear a car slam on their brakes and their tires start screeching I actually look forward to the sound of a crash and am very disappointed when I don't hear it.
kihira
1
Nah! always forgive yourself. what was it about?
I stole someones Milk today out of the fridge at work.
kihira
1
dont worry, they stole it off a doorstep
Square_Eyes
Well-known member
Thanks, phocas, but I'd rather not say.
kihira
1
No prob. I promised something on the death of one of my parents and I never followed through, but they are gone and I'm still here so there's no point in my feeling bad about it. I dont think promises should ever be a total thing, because we can only ever do our best at the time.