New years have been starting bad for me for a while now. Last year I was forced to dance with my grandma who started putting her hands all over my body with a really creepy smile on her face, and later on I had my biggest paruresis crisis so far. I felt like my bladder was minutes away from bursting, I couldn't pee at the bar we were at. So I managed to convince my sister to go home because I was in a lot of pain, though I didn't tell her the cause. I could barely walk and the people I was with (in particular my sister) were taking their own sweet time on the way to the bus. I started going on ahead without them, trying to find some place where I could try to pee. Fortunately this guy at a hotel let me in after some convincing, and I pretty much paid him 5€ just use the toilet. He had told me I only had to buy coffee or something but I didn't care about it, I was willing to pay way more than 5€ just to pee.
This year I avoided going out. I knew going out would lead to a terrible night. Didn't stop me from having a bad time. I started with some abdominal pain from gas in my bowels, which went away after I passed some gas. I really hate doing that, I feel like it's rude and I try to stay away from people but they always come near me when I'm doing it and I can't go to the bathroom that often. Then this afternoon I had a big, although different, abdominal pain after my bowel movements. The pain was strong for 3 hours and I couldn't find a single position where it would stop hurting or hurt significantly less. 8 hours after it started it still hurts a bit when I stand and walk, but it's not much. It'll probably go away after sleeping.
