Opaline
1
It probably will take a long time before it becomes a part of your natural reaction. You also have to give yourself some worth, too - it's harder to defend yourself if you feel you don't deserve defending. I hope you can use the school's mental health services. Talking to someone about these issues face-to-face is a really good idea and it might give you some insight about things.
I don't know who "Mikwy" is, but I'm doing very well, thank you. ::
Today that same coworker seemed to be talking to me like that again, so without even thinking about it I snapped at her to ask her to stop talking to me that way. I probably could have been more calm and direct about it but anxiety revs up my confrontations to all or nothing on my end, which can be disastrous. Better to be calmly assertive than borderline aggressive and emotional. Le sigh. Point is I said something... right?
She responded by downplaying it, saying she wasn't talking to me like I was stupid and she didn't know why I was getting so upset. I felt slightly guilty after and awkward and my anxiety got worse, as is the usual result. But I was glad I spoke up. It took a lot out of me and I have 3 more hours here (currently on break) and my anxiety is still through the roof. But I would have felt worse if I hadn't said anything.
I know this was a long post sorry