I had 10 calves or so around my wood pile this morning at 5 am looking all doe-eyed when I opened the door and surprised them. They were chewing on the plastic tarp on top and the bark like a bunch of freaks. I cannot wait till they are gone!
I am probably going away to a 5 day festival tomorrow in the desert. My anxiety is high, I can't believe I'm actually making myself go. I ALWAYS avoid avoid avoid these types of things. For me, avoidance overpowers all. I need to go though, I need to force myself to get out and actually do something. I've never been to something like this before, and being the pessimist I am I'm anticipating the worst. I hope I can actually manage to enjoy myself and not let the fear, paranoia, panic, and anxiety completely overtake me and ruin any chance of a good time. That happens all too often. I hope I really am a person beyond my anxiety and fears, but sometimes it feels like that is all I am anymore. I just need to calm down and breathe, and try to actually have a good time. It's just sooo hard. Panic is such a demon.
I am probably going away to a 5 day festival tomorrow in the desert. My anxiety is high, I can't believe I'm actually making myself go. I ALWAYS avoid avoid avoid these types of things. For me, avoidance overpowers all. I need to go though, I need to force myself to get out and actually do something. I've never been to something like this before, and being the pessimist I am I'm anticipating the worst. I hope I can actually manage to enjoy myself and not let the fear, paranoia, panic, and anxiety completely overtake me and ruin any chance of a good time. That happens all too often. I hope I really am a person beyond my anxiety and fears, but sometimes it feels like that is all I am anymore. I just need to calm down and breathe, and try to actually have a good time. It's just sooo hard. Panic is such a demon.
Hope it goes well for you! I go to a 3 day music festival every year and always feel panicky beforehand but relax into it once I'm there. I make sure I camp in a quiet spot so that I can retreat away from it all if I need to, and I don't try to do everything there but cherry pick my favourites. Have fun!
I am probably going away to a 5 day festival tomorrow in the desert. My anxiety is high, I can't believe I'm actually making myself go. I ALWAYS avoid avoid avoid these types of things. For me, avoidance overpowers all. I need to go though, I need to force myself to get out and actually do something. I've never been to something like this before, and being the pessimist I am I'm anticipating the worst. I hope I can actually manage to enjoy myself and not let the fear, paranoia, panic, and anxiety completely overtake me and ruin any chance of a good time. That happens all too often. I hope I really am a person beyond my anxiety and fears, but sometimes it feels like that is all I am anymore. I just need to calm down and breathe, and try to actually have a good time. It's just sooo hard. Panic is such a demon.
Oh that's so great you're going! Festivals are the best. I wish I could go with you 🙂 I need to do something fun with someone cool.
Because i don't have enough things about myself im not happy about ( that i want to change) and i am insecure about...Why do people have to point out things that i can't help or change and then continue to make fun of me for it? I don't so that to others so why must people do it to me? I tried to do something different and nice for me, just once and the people around me find the one flaw, that i can't help, and pick at me for it. I used to be able to tell myself that the things i feel really self conscious about are only really noticed by me and it's just me making a big deal about it, its all in my mind. After today i know that isnt always true.
Hope it goes well for you! I go to a 3 day music festival every year and always feel panicky beforehand but relax into it once I'm there. I make sure I camp in a quiet spot so that I can retreat away from it all if I need to, and I don't try to do everything there but cherry pick my favourites. Have fun!
Thanks you two! I'll tryy to have fun best I can, ahhhh. I'll definitely put my tent in a nice quiet spot so I can retreat when I need to, good advice there. And yes, a dessert festival would be AMAZING. I'm drooling just thinking about that.
Its one of those times when a fly flies into your room and you go 'hello friend'.
^ I do that with the little Geckos that live in my walls and come out late at night looking for food.
There is a baby one that lives in the corner of my kitchen wall and I often turn out the lights before I go to bed and wait a minute until he comes out for his nightly food search. I stand there watching and talking to him. He is so used to me now I can get really close to him and he just goes about his business, looking at me occasionally as if he is thinking "wow, this human lady is really needy!" 🤭
I am probably going away to a 5 day festival tomorrow in the desert. My anxiety is high, I can't believe I'm actually making myself go. I ALWAYS avoid avoid avoid these types of things. For me, avoidance overpowers all. I need to go though, I need to force myself to get out and actually do something. I've never been to something like this before, and being the pessimist I am I'm anticipating the worst. I hope I can actually manage to enjoy myself and not let the fear, paranoia, panic, and anxiety completely overtake me and ruin any chance of a good time. That happens all too often. I hope I really am a person beyond my anxiety and fears, but sometimes it feels like that is all I am anymore. I just need to calm down and breathe, and try to actually have a good time. It's just sooo hard. Panic is such a demon.
Good on you for forcing yourself to go. What's the festival? I reckon you'll have lots of fun - more than you anticipate. 🙂
^ I do that with the little Geckos that live in my walls and come out late at night looking for food.
There is a baby one that lives in the corner of my kitchen wall and I often turn out the lights before I go to bed and wait a minute until he comes out for his nightly food search. I stand there watching and talking to him. He is so used to me now I can get really close to him and he just goes about his business, looking at me occasionally as if he is thinking "wow, this human lady is really needy!" 🤭
That's so cute! I reckon I'd freak if I saw one in my house, haha.
Sometimes I feel like I am suffocating under a weight of negativity, the anger of strangers, but then I go for a run, I finish with the winters sun in my face, I close my eyes, and suddenly I can breathe again.
Sometimes I feel like I am suffocating under a weight of negativity, the anger of strangers, but then I go for a run, I finish with the winters sun in my face, I close my eyes, and suddenly I can breathe again.
^ I do envy you having such a healthy way of recharging your batteries, kiwong.:thumbup:
I wish running did for me what it seems to do for you. Unfortunately sugar is the only thing that recharges my batteries and keeps me going. I guess I should be grateful that I never started using smoking to chill out though.
Sometimes I feel like I am suffocating under a weight of negativity, the anger of strangers, but then I go for a run, I finish with the winters sun in my face, I close my eyes, and suddenly I can breathe again.
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