That thing when people ask how are you and you either say you're okay or you're anxious/sad and when you ask them back they say they're happy, that they had a good weekend, doing pretty good with their friends/girlfriend and you're left wondering why aren't you ever happy, you're alright but not happy. Maybe its because to be happy you need fulfilling relationships with people even if with a few ones, to be happy you need an average amount of control over your life, you need to feel appreciated atleast to you friends and friends, you need friends. I'm a loner but I'm not a hermit, I want people in my life, I want to fit in somewhere, have fun. I want to say I'm happy when people ask me how I'm doing.
People have told me they're fine when I can see in their eyes and their body language that they're not. I actually get it a lot from the police officers at work who tell me they're good but they've had a rough day/night and prefer not to talk about it to some random person.
I believe some people genuinely are happy - or at least content - so they wouldn't be lying.
recently one of my professors was talking to us about how some people believe gender is completely - I mean 100% - a construct of society. Sex organs obviously are not, but gender is. Besides our sex organs, we are the same exact creatures, there is no male and female; we only start behaving like a "male" or "female" because of society. He literally said that a woman is simply a man who can have a baby, or a man is simply a woman who cannot.
Interesting. I think the role of the male and female have been embedded into us since caveman days - men hunt and women cook, and that sort of societal role has carried over for hundreds of thousands of years, so I don't think it's just modern society which constructs those "rules."
You're right that testosterone and estrogen are two different things, and affect men and women differently for different reasons.
If your professor is right, I'm going to buy some of those short denim shorts women are wearing these days...although I can't really pull it off like the women do. 🤭
I beat on the door 'til my knuckles bleed, but no one hears. I open my mouth to scream, but I have no voice. I'm tired—so very tired. When will it end?
^Sorry you are going through some intense frustration atm, Graybeard :sad:I hope you can find some kind of relief soon.
working 70 hr weeks it's ridiculous..this better pay off man!!!!!
^Holy cow, 70 hours! 😮
Are you enjoying the work though? I wouldn't mind working long hours each week if I was doing something I got great satisfaction from.
I was rearranging my room (currently just separating the trash) and came across this CD I got for my birthday 6 years ago, from my girlfriend at the time (we were 15/14 years old). I knew it was there because I never threw it away and I see it every now and then when I rearrange my room or when I look for old things. I decided to open it again this time. I haven't felt so many emotions in a long time, and for the first time I realise how stupid I was to break things up with her for the reasons I did. I also realised how sad she must've been. I already felt bad for what I did back then, but now I feel even worse. I thought about asking her to meet me so I can apologize properly, but this happened 6 years ago. She already moved on, in fact she's had a few boyfriends since then and she's currently dating someone.
Life goes on, I probably shouldn't bring back the past at this time.
I was rearranging my room (currently just separating the trash) and came across this CD I got for my birthday 6 years ago, from my girlfriend at the time (we were 15/14 years old). I knew it was there because I never threw it away and I see it every now and then when I rearrange my room or when I look for old things. I decided to open it again this time. I haven't felt so many emotions in a long time, and for the first time I realise how stupid I was to break things up with her for the reasons I did. I also realised how sad she must've been. I already felt bad for what I did back then, but now I feel even worse. I thought about asking her to meet me so I can apologize properly, but this happened 6 years ago. She already moved on, in fact she's had a few boyfriends since then and she's currently dating someone.
Life goes on, I probably shouldn't bring back the past at this time.
It might be best to leave the past where it is. Maybe you did hurt her, but she has already gotten on with it, so it wouldn't be wise to bring that up with her again.
You should probably get rid of the CD if it conjures up these bad emotions for you.
Busy busy busy. It's nice, but I'm tired. Got a little cleaning job this past weekend to earn some money, plus I got an e-mail today from a job I applied to last week and now have an interview scheduled for Friday. I'm pretty excited, I have to admit, but I'm really nervous too. I hope I don't screw it up.
Side note, I've been logged in here for a week apparently. Whoops. 🙄
I am so angry at myself for so constantly giving my power away to people. There are so many that will and have taken complete advantage of me because of this-horrible humans. I am going to make a conscious effort to be aware of these types from now on and make sure they know I am on to them, somehow, though most of these people are so slick at being manipulative they will make it seem to me they are not being this way. Need to find the dealing with highly manipulative people book...seems most people fall into this category unfortunately.
Taking online lessons is much more interesting than regular classes. I'm watching classes on things that I would feel bored to death if I had to go through it in a 90 minute class, but since I can cut it to 20/30 minute chunks it feels much more interesting and not boring at all.
Finally got some medication to try n' keep the muscle spasms in ma legs, which are associated wi' ma cerebral palsy, in check. Or make 'em less frequent than they huv been. Got the meds for 3 weeks then ah can either stop takin' 'em or renew ma prescription. Got tae take yin pill, 3 times a day. Anyway, ah'll, eh, gee them a go - see if they huv an affected. 🙂
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