Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
nodejesque
Well-known member
Disappointed. And reminded of why it sucks to feel vulnerable, aNd show it.
I suck at perspective drawing, geez. I've spend the last three days drawing something, only to find out the perspective was awkwardly skewed. Found out about it on completion. It went straight into the shame-archive.
Not really the best start after a multiple-year dry spell. :/
Screw it, I'm not talented/knowledgeable enough to do perspective off the top of my head. I'll be using a poser puppet from now on.
Not really the best start after a multiple-year dry spell. :/
Screw it, I'm not talented/knowledgeable enough to do perspective off the top of my head. I'll be using a poser puppet from now on.
Opaline
1
I wish I was skilled enough to draw well at all. I can't do perspective right, either. And I can't do faces that look realistic.
In the words of my 8-year-old brother: "You're lucky who can draw good."
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Opaline
1
I felt like I needed to make something different for breakfast. We don't have a lot as far as breakfast foods go, and I'm kind of tired of oatmeal and toast and eggs and all of that.
I think I'm going to make caramel-apple crepes. The recipe is very simple and sounds so good that it's going to be painful to wait to eat it (I'm also pretty hungry). The blogger I got it from said they're so rich that she recommends saving them for dessert, but there is no way I'm listening to that. Must have caramel-apple NOW!
I think I'm going to make caramel-apple crepes. The recipe is very simple and sounds so good that it's going to be painful to wait to eat it (I'm also pretty hungry). The blogger I got it from said they're so rich that she recommends saving them for dessert, but there is no way I'm listening to that. Must have caramel-apple NOW!
Ithior
Well-known member
Great, seems like I have to pee every hour and half now. Paruresis was bearable because I didn't need to pee very often and I could hold it for a long time (I'd only need to go every 4 hours and I could hold it for 6 hours easily), but now it's hell. Not only do I need to be near a bathroom every time I go out for more than 2 hours, but it also needs to meet certain conditions. If it was hard to find a suitable bathroom over the course of 4 hours before, I don't see how I'll be able to find one in just 1 hour.
Perspective drawing is a science. It takes lots of intense study and practice to get it down pat. And even if you don't, it doesn't make you a bad artist. Lots of the great artists were kinda sucky at perspective. Da Vinci, for one, struggled with it quite a bit.
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Ithior
Well-known member
I feel like trying it out now. I don't draw, but I'd like to see how bad or good I am. What should I try to draw?
Opaline
1
Guess I'm on a caramel kick today. I have a jar of Hershey's caramel so I've been inspired here and there to add it to things. Like peach-flavored tea, which I just tried. Don't knock it! Hot Celestial Seasonings Country Peach Passion with some milk and Hershey's caramel topping was pretty good. It tasted pretty close to some kind of Starbucks specialty drink.
I shouldn't have had it before bed and all that sugar is terrible, but it tasted great.
I shouldn't have had it before bed and all that sugar is terrible, but it tasted great.
PerseverareJasmine
Well-known member
I'm having one of those nights where I'm tired, and I know I'll regret it tomorrow, but I don't want to go to sleep yet. I'll just have to tough it out tomorrow.
Flanscho
Well-known member
So, I got that new job last fall, and the job is ok. I learn a lot, and it's very demanding. I was worried whether I was good enough, because all people there have studied at the university and are simply some of the best of their field. I never exaggerate during a job interview, so I was a bit surprised that they offered me a job, with a six month trial period (in Germany you got trial periods for each job, where the worker can see if he likes the company and vice versa, and both can quit the contract at any time just because they want to).
And the second workday after winter holidays, the senior programmer of that company approached me, and told me that they had expected more of me. That they'll give me some more projects, which I can work on for myself (instead of working into stuff other people have started), and if I won't do better, they'll have to see if working together makes sense.
On the one hand I knew that I wasn't as good as them. They've studied at the university, I only went to some programming school for two years. I only worked as the only programmer in companies before, so I had no other programmers to work with to exchange our knowledge, and so I miss some stuff. On the other, everything I programmed for that company always worked.
End of february the trial period is over. Until then, they'll tell me whether they'll take me or not.
That is quite depressing. I now go every day to that job, knowing they think that I'm shit. And I still have to be motivated and social and laugh and whatnot.
It's difficult for me not to become depressed all the time due to this. I wish they'd just fire or take me, and not that I've to go there for another six or seven weeks with that situation.
If they fire me... Well... I'd also feel like a loser compared to my friends. Like, that I'm the guy who is too stupid to stay at that job. I mean, I'm not THAT bad. There was a number of people who applied for that position, and I was the only one who they've given a chance. Still...
So, in Germany, if you get fired from a job which you had for more than a year, you have one year time to find a new job. During that time, the government will pay you two thirds of that last jobs income without asking much questions. After that, they'll ask you to hand over all your bills and stuff, so that they'll pay you just enough to live.
If I get fired here, I Haven't worked there for a year, so I'll get a part of the income from the job before, which was worse. I've only been once without work for a longer time, which was the five months it took me to find this job, so if I'm right, they'd give me for seven months or so 2/3 of the salary of the last job I had for a longer time, and if I won't find a job during that time, they'll reduce it to just enough that I can live.
On the one hand, I would prefer a part time job over this one, so that I have more time for my own stuff. But in matters of full time jobs, this one was pretty good.
Man this is depressing.
In half an hour I'll go there through the office door, we'll have a monday morning meeting, and I'll smile and wonder for another 1 1/2 months whether they take me or not.
And the second workday after winter holidays, the senior programmer of that company approached me, and told me that they had expected more of me. That they'll give me some more projects, which I can work on for myself (instead of working into stuff other people have started), and if I won't do better, they'll have to see if working together makes sense.
On the one hand I knew that I wasn't as good as them. They've studied at the university, I only went to some programming school for two years. I only worked as the only programmer in companies before, so I had no other programmers to work with to exchange our knowledge, and so I miss some stuff. On the other, everything I programmed for that company always worked.
End of february the trial period is over. Until then, they'll tell me whether they'll take me or not.
That is quite depressing. I now go every day to that job, knowing they think that I'm shit. And I still have to be motivated and social and laugh and whatnot.
It's difficult for me not to become depressed all the time due to this. I wish they'd just fire or take me, and not that I've to go there for another six or seven weeks with that situation.
If they fire me... Well... I'd also feel like a loser compared to my friends. Like, that I'm the guy who is too stupid to stay at that job. I mean, I'm not THAT bad. There was a number of people who applied for that position, and I was the only one who they've given a chance. Still...
So, in Germany, if you get fired from a job which you had for more than a year, you have one year time to find a new job. During that time, the government will pay you two thirds of that last jobs income without asking much questions. After that, they'll ask you to hand over all your bills and stuff, so that they'll pay you just enough to live.
If I get fired here, I Haven't worked there for a year, so I'll get a part of the income from the job before, which was worse. I've only been once without work for a longer time, which was the five months it took me to find this job, so if I'm right, they'd give me for seven months or so 2/3 of the salary of the last job I had for a longer time, and if I won't find a job during that time, they'll reduce it to just enough that I can live.
On the one hand, I would prefer a part time job over this one, so that I have more time for my own stuff. But in matters of full time jobs, this one was pretty good.
Man this is depressing.
In half an hour I'll go there through the office door, we'll have a monday morning meeting, and I'll smile and wonder for another 1 1/2 months whether they take me or not.
Oh don't get me wrong, I'm by no means good at the other elements of drawing either. It's always been a hobby, and I'm fine with being at hobbyist level. It's just bothers me when I can't do the basic forms of things I set out to do. It drives me up the wall.
But it just kinda sucks to preform (far) below your own expectations, yah know. I've always taken pride in struggling with something long enough to overcome it. But even after years of trying, perspective is still something I mildly understand in theory - practical application is scarcely done accurately.
But yeah, you're right. It's a complicated thing. I suppose it was a bit naive on my part to expect to just pick it up. And there's no shame in using references where needed.
Try a grand piano. Those have sharp edges as well as an assortment of other contours. That should be fun.
Opaline
1
When I first read about the MRI sessions I'd need to do for the research study, it didn't sound bad to me. But last night I had a slightly upsetting dream about it, and now it's getting closer to my actually having to do it. I don't think it's going to be that bad, but I still feel nervous, especially since I might have to sit in there for up to 90 minutes. I don't know... I hope I can complete the study but if not, oh well.
Opaline
1
I get what you're saying, and I think you're right. It's sad that people can be so cruel, but at least you have something that you can be really proud of. I'm sure you're more in shape than most of the people who judge you so harshly. I'm sure you could outrun them. You'll probably live longer than them (unless they have good genes or you're unlucky in some way). In Western society, physical fitness is highly coveted and something anyone who has it should be proud of, because so many people say they're going to "get fit" and just never do.
Flanscho
Well-known member
So every few months I play a card game with some friends. It's a traditional card game that requires exactly four people. If five are present, then the person dealing the cards just passes that turn.
So some time ago they asked in a WhatsApp group who'd be up for the next evening. And I didn't know whether I'd be, so I thought "reply later", and I thought that some time later, and forgot. And then I read that they're four, and thought "oh, ok, they're four already then". And so they meet this evening. And two minutes after it's the time to meet, a buddy phones me and asks me whether I join. Because they thought they would join. But I sit here in my comfy pants, after a long work day, a huge pot of tea. And I don't feel like now getting dressed in decent clothes, throw away the tea and bicycle through the winter night. But if I don't do that, then the other two friends went to the third one for basically nothing, because they're then just three people and can't play the game.
And now I feel shitty about it, because I have the feeling that I'm the one who destroyed their evening, despite nobody ever asking me whether I'd join...
So some time ago they asked in a WhatsApp group who'd be up for the next evening. And I didn't know whether I'd be, so I thought "reply later", and I thought that some time later, and forgot. And then I read that they're four, and thought "oh, ok, they're four already then". And so they meet this evening. And two minutes after it's the time to meet, a buddy phones me and asks me whether I join. Because they thought they would join. But I sit here in my comfy pants, after a long work day, a huge pot of tea. And I don't feel like now getting dressed in decent clothes, throw away the tea and bicycle through the winter night. But if I don't do that, then the other two friends went to the third one for basically nothing, because they're then just three people and can't play the game.
And now I feel shitty about it, because I have the feeling that I'm the one who destroyed their evening, despite nobody ever asking me whether I'd join...