Nice guys finish last...

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KiaKaha

KiaKaha

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I dont suppose anyone knows how to be confident without coming across like an arrogant douche?
The line is too fine...better not to risk it I say..
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

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ShyKiwi said:
I dont suppose anyone knows how to be confident without coming across like an arrogant douche?
The line is too fine...better not to risk it I say..
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I say just believe that you have the skills to get the job done, but also aware enough that you have a lot to learn.
 
moon_x

moon_x

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I think there is more to nice guy's that girls like. Nice is the easiest good personality anyone can get, to be loved by someone, I guess you have to be twice as nice, such as funny, cute, sweet or smart..etc..
 
P

pop-princess

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Combination of confident and humble would be a dream guy heh ::eek::

But some may come across as very confident but deep inside are really insecure... Aahh it's tricky, I can't really figure out who is 'confident' for real.
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

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Nice guys finish fine. It's when the intentions are not clear....

Nice guys who don't confidently (at least in appearance) set their foot flat and state their thoughts and feelings end up as friends or nowhere. Last I heard women can't mind read.

To the Nice guys it's okay to appropriately and always politely voice your thoughts and feelings toward others.

To the Rough 'n' Tough guys try being a nice guy for a bit. Keep that rough 'n' tough there but keep it in check. See what happens, yeah.
 
moon_x

moon_x

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Sial Axetder said:
Nice guys finish fine. It's when the intentions are not clear....

Nice guys who don't confidently (at least in appearance) set their foot flat and state their thoughts and feelings end up as friends or nowhere. Last I heard women can't mind read.

To the Nice guys it's okay to appropriately and always politely voice your thoughts and feelings toward others.

To the Rough 'n' Tough guys try being a nice guy for a bit. Keep that rough 'n' tough there but keep it in check. See what happens, yeah.
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I agree :) The problem isnt being nice, guys! Its confident, or other things. I know nice and shy sound related, but they are seperate sometimes.
 
DeadmanWalking

DeadmanWalking

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PipsMcClawski said:
Well thats the problem, a lot of us here arent very confident. At least I know Im not.
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Maybe you should try to find an aspect or skill of yours that you can do well and flaunt it. Apparently, working out and becoming fit adds to confidence as well. Just show the world that you're completely comfortable with who you are and, if you're not, then work to become comfortable.
 
Sial Axetder

Sial Axetder

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PipsMcClawski said:
Well thats the problem, a lot of us here arent very confident. At least I know Im not.
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You sound quite confident that you're not very confident.

Keep that idea but try positivity. Appear confident and I am willing to bet you appearing confident will increase your confidence.
 
moon_x

moon_x

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PipsMcClawski said:
Well thats the problem, a lot of us here arent very confident. At least I know Im not.
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Doesnt have to be confident, could be other things like smart, which you seem to be :)
Every girl has their own minimum requirement.
I personally think shy guys are cute anyways.
 
elek2ronik

elek2ronik

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Yeah, its just a balance of it all. I mean, I know i'm smarter and better than most people, but I'm still nice about it.
 
OceanMist

OceanMist

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coyote said:
that's black and white thinking
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coyote said:
How so? I didn't say you have to be misogynist if you are aggressive. I also didn't say aggressive=jerk. I was just using attributes that many men have.

it doesn't have to be one way or the other

I never said it did have to be one way or the other. It doesn't. Someone can be an aggressive, kind person, or a passive, mean person. There are many kinds of things people can be. I was just using an example, because it seems like there is a generalized group of aggressive, jerky guys out there that get a lot of women.

you can be assertive/aggressive and still be a kind and decent person

Here is the problem, though, and I should have seen this coming. Assertive and aggressive are different adjectives. Being assertive is noble, but there can be a thin line between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

I guess people can have different versions of the word, aggressive.

I guess I came off wrong in my post. I wasn't saying aggressive=mean guy. I was just pointing out that mean guys are usually aggressive. That's what I've noticed, at least.

and, as someone else mentioned, there are plenty of unassertive guys who are "misoogynist pricks," too

Once again, I wasn't saying unassertive=non-misogynist. Yes there are misogynist, unassertive guys out there.

I guess I'm going to explain in detail in all of my posts that I'm not meaning everybody is one thing. It seems you think because I say there are cruel, aggressive guys out there, that all aggressive guys are cruel, and I'm not saying that.

there's lots of shades of grey in this big world of ours[

True, hence, our difference of opinion.
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